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 Post subject: Shadow's Story
PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 10:55 am 
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It's not done quite yet, but I wanted to see what people think about it.
So, pleae tell me what you think!! :lol:
Here's the beginning.....

Shadow sat in the dark of her room, next to her open window, crying. She wasn't really the type to cry but when she thought of the unfairness of the day, the tears came hard and steady.
She was a Dark faerie. Purple hair with black streaks, bat wings, almost everything about her screamed Dark faerie. Almost.
Shadow was an eighth grader in the famous school for Dark faeries. It wasn't as if she was a bad student. Shadow was known in the school for the ability to master spells much faster than the other students and as a result she knew spells well above her grade as well as the ones in her grade. But she was most known for refusing to use spells to harm others. She would never turn a pet or petpet mutant, and only pretended to brainwash, thus giving the teachers and other students more than a lot of problems.
The biggest one was today's evening field trip. It was the much awaited field trip by her classmates, in which the class was taken to Neopian Central to tease, steal, and curse innocent Neopians with everything they had learned.
Shadow had taken one look at the terror stricken Neopians running around in a panic and moved into action. Using a shield spell that her classmates would never know the way to undo, she saved the Neopians, ruined her class's “fun”, and got kicked out of school. Being kicked out was rather a relief. She hated the school, for all the evil things it taught and brought out. Only she was reminded again and again by her family, her supposedly called “friends” who usually ignored her anyway, the teachers, the whole school that she was a failure and no wonder she didn't have any real friends.
Shadow's mother burst into the room..
“ I can't believe you! Do you know how much we paid for you to get into that school?!?!” she screamed in rage. “We were cursed with bad luck to have---”.
Shadow stood up, gritting her teeth. This was the last straw.
“Fine.” she snapped. “I'll go to Moonlight.”
“Moonshadow! That betrayer!” Her mother snarled. “To think we have so many failures in our family.” An idea occurred to her and she smiled suddenly and sneered,
“Oh, go on ahead. Since it is so bad here, it'll probably be a lot worse over there.”
Shadow thought quickly. She wouldn't bring her clothes, she hated them anyway. She would definitely be all right without any food until she reached Neopian Central where her sister, Moonlight lived as it was a fairly short distance there. She would use what little money she had in the Neopian Bank for whatever else she needed.
Shadow hoisted her self out the open window. Hearing her mother, her own mother, laughing as she flew away into the evening, brought the tears back to her eyes.
Her mother only cared about Mavara her oldest sister. Shadow had just been sent to the school so her family wouldn't look bad. Those fashionable clothes she hated so much, everything was so her family wouldn't look bad. Not a whit about her.
Her mother, Shadow knew, was just really jealous of Shadow's aunt, her sister, who was a very powerful Dark Faerie. Shadow didn't like her aunt either, but she treated Shadow slightly better than Shadow's mother. Only slightly.
Shadow, who had been lost in thought, had reached the Neopian Central before she knew it. As she walked down the street to the Neopian Bank, she realized that pets, petpets, and owners alike were backing away from her. This saddened her. She quickened her pace to her destination.
At the bank, she withdrew what little money she had collected when her family wasn't looking.
2000nps. Not that bad, but not good at all either, she thought. It took me thirteen years to save up this much......
Neopoints in hand she went straight to Uni's clothing and bought the most undark faerie clothes she could find. After changing in the dressing room, she gave the shopkeeper her old clothes, telling the blue uni it would probably sell well. The shopkeeper excepted it rather gratefully, as anything that can be sold would be accepted, and tried to give Shadow her money back.. Shadow refused, but the Uni's petpet followed her out the door with the bag of neopoints in its mouth.
Shadow had a special weakness for petpets and pets, so she smiled gently and accepted. The petpet squealed in delight and ran back into the shop.
2000nps and new clothes. Yay! Shadow thought. She noticed with some satisfaction that no one ran away anymore. Even if I changed clothes, my wings are still showing, she thought. Who would have thought that the Central is all about clothes!
It was completely dark by the time she reached the Market Place. Closing her eyes, she searched for a large amount of power she could follow to Moonlight's house. She found two. Eyes still closed, she walked toward one of them. Feeling warm light spill over her, she opened her eyes. This must be the Soup Kitchen, Shadow thought. It feels.... pleasant. It has a kind feel to it.
She tried hard not to run to the other power. She reached the house, and stood there for a little while, beginning to become doubtful. At last, she knocked on the door tentatively.
The door opened wide and a young woman of about twenty stood in the doorway. She had long blond hair and although her eyes were pitch black, she could be a Light Faerie for all anyone cared. The woman's eyes widened in surprise.
“Shadow!”


ImageImage[/url]Image
neopets→hikaru_shineImage
Flyff (Mia)→HikaruKi


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 4:48 pm 
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I think your story would be very good if you finished it. It was kind of weird when you said that she had only been able to save 2000 np in a few years. I think it would be best if you did not use any specific numbers.


Why do I post? Because it sends the thread to the top of the page. I LIKE THAT POWER!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 11:10 am 
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Location: Stuck in my world (Hokkaido, Japan)
Thanks
I only put up about half though.


ImageImage[/url]Image
neopets→hikaru_shineImage
Flyff (Mia)→HikaruKi


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