Pink Poogle Toy Forum

The official community of Pink Poogle Toy		 Main Site
NeoDex
It is currently Wed May 15, 2024 5:15 am

View unanswered posts | View active topics


Board index » Creative » Ye Olde PPT Gallery

All times are UTC




Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  Page 1 of 1
  [ 3 posts ] 
  Previous topic | Next topic 
Author Message
blueZ
 Post subject: a poem i wrote =)
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 7:34 am 
PPT Student
PPT Student
User avatar

Posts: 335
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2006 6:02 pm
Location: Home
Glass
Human hearts are similar to glass
Some are dirty, some are clean
Some are fragile and some
Break easily into pieces

----

its so short its not even a poem
but do tell me what you think.

Image
- w i s


Last edited by blueZ on Tue Apr 10, 2007 2:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
moogie
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 10:35 am 
PPT Student
PPT Student
User avatar

Posts: 481
Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2004 3:51 pm
the grammar of the last line is akward, perhaps if it read:

"Easily broken into pieces" or "Break easily into pieces"

I really do like the line-break between the second to last and last line, its quite subtle and nicely mirrors the whole idea of the poem.

Image
v: Lifebreather ----- c: Neko
Top
 Profile  
 
blueZ
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 2:46 am 
PPT Student
PPT Student
User avatar

Posts: 335
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2006 6:02 pm
Location: Home
oooh thanks

Image
- w i s
Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  Page 1 of 1
  [ 3 posts ] 

Board index » Creative » Ye Olde PPT Gallery

All times are UTC


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 10 guests

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Switch to mobile style
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group