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Yay! More college quotes This time they focus on sports.
I did have to omit a few bad words on one quote, but it should have no effect on it's punchline. (Note that there are many quotes that I do not post because they contain bad language in which I cannot edit without ruining the quote. I only post clean or edited posts.)
And now for the quotes!
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Coach JC: Kimbro, why in the world would you shoot that shot?
Kimbro: Yes sir.
-Kimbro, also shooting for a 1.7 GPA
"Circle was wide open!"
-Matt, at a Sacramento State football game after playing too much Madden
"I'm gonna dress up like a raven. That's right, I'm getting a giant stuffed raven animal costume. Caw-caw! Caw-caw!"
-Larry, trying to intimidate Bethany (a Steelers fan) before the game
"Oh come on!! She fell on herself, she's like a hippo on roller skates out there!"
-Benny, on a bogus foul called during a women's soccer game
"That guy that's throwing the ball...what's he holding in his left hand?"
-Kim, watching baseball for the first time
"He's so slippery....he's like glue."
-JP, after a friend broke his tackle
Bryan: Dude I'm drunker than a hockey ball.
Josh: Don't you mean a football bat?
-Stumbling around after tailgating at a football game
Random girl: Why are you throwing things at our window?
Jason: I don’t know, friendly competition?
Random girl: You notice we aren’t throwing anything back?
Dan: Sweet, we’re winning!
"Now, go down! Just like a cheerleader!"
-PE instructor, during a change in direction in aerobics
Chris: How come he didn't get more points than that?
Jerry: I thought that was a perfect landing...
Bubba: Probably because he didn't have his hands closer and the splash was bigger.
Chris: How would you know, are you a judge?
Bubba: No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
-While watching a diving competition
"But coach, if ten of us give ten percent each, we could give over a hundred percent easily."
-Marc, on winning strategies in football
"They may be the best team in Delaware, but they're not the best team in the state."
-Coach Sievic, at halftime, on why his team should be winning
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