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A Poem

Sat Aug 27, 2005 1:40 am

verThis is a poem I wrote during physics

The boy

She secretly hoped he would notice her
just the way she hoped he would in seventh grade
but things were different now
she was older, smarter, and wiser
she had new friends, a whole new life
but not everything was different
somethings stayed the same
he was still the boy she knew
the boy that made her smile, laugh, and blush
and then she realized that
though most things changed
her feelings for that eigth grade boy
had stayed the same
he was still the eigth grade boy she liked
but now that they were older
she realized her feelings hadn't faded
she discovered she liked him even more.

Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:51 am

Well, it was pretty good, but it didn't really fit to a meter and didn't rhyme. Not that I require rhyme, and I know that just about no-one else likes it, but if you don't have a meter it still makes it a poem.

And I'm all for either dramatic or sudden-drop endings, but this one kinda... nothing surprising about the ending, not if you read any of the rest. I dunno, maybe I just don't like romance. Anyway, make more!

Sat Aug 27, 2005 1:45 pm

I think you're quite wrong about no one liking poems that don't rhyme, Eo. Personally I tend to dislike rhyming poems because with rhymes the poem usually comes out forced and jerky.

I like it.

Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:41 pm

As with Bangel, I don't mind non-rhyming poems. Rhyming ones are always good, just as long as they're still fluid. Anyway, romance is kind of a no-no for me right now, but it's a good poem. I must say though, there reallyisn't much of a meter. Bad thing.

Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:26 pm

Bangel wrote:I think you're quite wrong about no one liking poems that don't rhyme, Eo. Personally I tend to dislike rhyming poems because with rhymes the poem usually comes out forced and jerky.

I like it.


Thank you.
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