Paul? Do art? gotta be kidding..-The Alley Way

[Paul]

Walking down the alley, away from it all. It was raining, raining hard. Lashing against the cold hard unfriendly brick, sliding down to the puddle of water that had formed on the ground, ripples where the feet had landed, splashing the bottom of the trousers, soaking into the worn away sock that was inside the shoe. Marching along, socks getting damper, kicking the filth that lay amongst the pool of water, absorbing it all. The only thing personal, in this very alley way was the worn graffiti that had scrawled on the brickwork. Even that was evil and discriminating; he hated it, from the kerbstone to the broken lamps that towered over him. He hated himself for not doing anything, he hated everyone for doing everything, and he hated life. But yet he did nothing, his parent, his poor old mother had asked him if everything was all right but he pushed her away even more and denied her everything a mother wants, he hated himself for that too. Now he was less than 20 metres away, he could see the grey door and the rusty handle. He loathed it, with all the spite he could muster, he just wanted to run up screaming and kick it down, but he knew it wouldn’t do any good. The monster of a stepfather would shout at him and beat him, when his mother away, of course. He knew his mother wasn’t in today, she was working, for that idiot she loved, or so she said she did. But he treated everyone like they were worthless.

He knocked on the door quietly, two knocks, but he could be out here forever, however long it took till his stepfather needed to go past the door. He wouldn’t even say hello, just open it an inch and ignore him, and if he was angry that day, he would berate him in the street. The curtains of neighbouring homes, lovely warm homes with good parents and full of love, would creep open with eyes peering out, how he longed to be somewhere else, away from it all.


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Please comment & criticise. Took me quarter of an hour, well, closer to 20 minutes to complete it.

[Rissa]

I love it. I could totally feel as if I was there. You did a great job describing the street scene, how glum and depressing everything is. Fantastic.

[Xil]

I guess eating your brains didn't really effect your skills much!

Great job, Pablo.