Jeans - A Story by Xil
Sun Oct 17, 2004 8:54 pm
The faded figure running in faded jeans splashed the once still water as they ran down the alley way. Between the big flashy buildings and the pink & purple neon lights this lone figure graced the night in the jeans which had once been his most prized possession.
Without point nor navigation the jeans kept him running, muscle ache or otherwise. passing through the streets of the metal jungle the jeans made him continually bump into tourists, street side attractions and the occasional old lady. All he wanted was to sit, the jeans made him run, their cool denim feel tested his thighs and he hated it. He hated them, Most of all, he hated himself for loving them in hate.
all thsi time he ran, grasping for air, pushing his body further and further his hands waved maniacly through the dry desert air. Running, faster, faster, his heart felt four feet in front of him. The lights grew behind him as his shadow past foreword, "YES! YES! FINALLY! FREEDOM!" he creamed as the cop used his knee to bring him down "Freedom! Freedom!" the mans screaming could be heard from miles and miles away.
Without point nor navigation the jeans kept him running, muscle ache or otherwise. passing through the streets of the metal jungle the jeans made him continually bump into tourists, street side attractions and the occasional old lady. All he wanted was to sit, the jeans made him run, their cool denim feel tested his thighs and he hated it. He hated them, Most of all, he hated himself for loving them in hate.
all thsi time he ran, grasping for air, pushing his body further and further his hands waved maniacly through the dry desert air. Running, faster, faster, his heart felt four feet in front of him. The lights grew behind him as his shadow past foreword, "YES! YES! FINALLY! FREEDOM!" he creamed as the cop used his knee to bring him down "Freedom! Freedom!" the mans screaming could be heard from miles and miles away.
Mon Oct 18, 2004 12:01 am
That was an interesting piece of work...with an unusual theme. I'm curious to know how the story began. Is this an exert of a longer story? Anyhow, I liked your choice of words. Good job. 
Re: Jeans - A Story by Xil
Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:35 pm
Very good story Dan, I like it
Wed Oct 20, 2004 12:07 am
Raven Poet wrote:That was an interesting piece of work...with an unusual theme. I'm curious to know how the story began. Is this an exert of a longer story? Anyhow, I liked your choice of words. Good job.
Not in particular, I just picked up a keyboard and started writing, if I feel like it, I'll write the beginning and middle out to explain the story more.
Thanks for the constructive crit. & compliments
Sun Oct 24, 2004 4:36 pm
Xil wrote:Raven Poet wrote:That was an interesting piece of work...with an unusual theme. I'm curious to know how the story began. Is this an exert of a longer story? Anyhow, I liked your choice of words. Good job.
Not in particular, I just picked up a keyboard and started writing, if I feel like it, I'll write the beginning and middle out to explain the story more.
Thanks for the constructive crit. & compliments
Oh, I see. I do that sometimes, too.