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 Post subject: Summer's Warmth -- To (her name) Poem
PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:01 am 
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Here's a poem I wrote for the girl I like, celebrating the end of school. But it seems she just wants to be friends. Maybe if I get some good feedback I'll post some of my other work.

Summer's Warmth

At long last Summer hast slowly crept,
Upon its silent children whilst they slept.
The howling wind whips and cries,
And Summer’s children begin to rise.

Born again to the sun and skies,
Blue and beautiful as thine own eyes,
The children yawn and stretch weary limbs,
And begin their quest for wild whims.

Go! Seek the adventures that Summer brings,
Fly forth on thy gilded wings.
Bask in the light that is truly love!
For Summer holds this aloft, above.

Live in each day; in each hour!
Smell the fragrance of each splendid flower!
Dance, celebrate each summer shower,
And from Summer’s warm love, never cower.

Reach for the stars, for that’s where dreams lie,
Live in the moment, and defy,
Each rule, each restriction ever put down.
Shed authority and dance free in thy cloud woven gown.

Drink in the peace of the finest freedom,
Without the intoxication of the finest rum.
And with joy, don thy dress of the finest lace.
Rejoice in Summer’s loving embrace!


Just another darkshadow...


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 7:47 pm 
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Location: sakura makes dreams come true.
:D :D :D

I am impressed with your non forced rhyming. This makes me happy. Very happy indeed.


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the greatest love story never told.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 10:58 pm 
Beyond Godly
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Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 3:43 am
Location: Set by me.
Wow. I love it! The rhymes flow very smoothly, none of it seems forced at all. Maybe a little wordy in places, but overall the rhythm is very smooth. As I said, it all flows very nicely. Excellent use of a good vocabulary. ^^


Mas mothaionn tu fein mar rud eigin caite ar an dtra...
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Lig dom goideail an croi duit...


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