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 Post subject: New Poem
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2005 8:35 pm 
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Posts: 32
Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:14 pm
Location: in a galaxy far,far, away.
>Running<

I'm running far, far away
Probably to a place i'll never stay
I don't know why i chose this fate
To get away, from home, or to just be on a date!?

Or! Am i trying to get rid of family, friends, or the goals i never had.
To be this sad is to be mad,
at myself, my future, and the place i'll never stay,
when i run far, far away.

i was bored one day and just started doodling. tell me what you think.

Hey guys i have a couple more:

>Following the Fun<

I figure the best is to come
Soon after my eyes are closed.
But as i lay,
I shall not miss the excitement.
My dreams may conquer best.

>A Power Unknown<
I shall stand out
Not because i don't do bad, but good
Not because i grew up in da' hood
Not because i know when to stand up and shout
Not because i'm the only one who'll pout

I shall stand out
Because i am the one who fought
the one who thought
For not only her
But the people, she kept her word

She shall stand out
for reasons unknown

Until, she saved her own.

ahoteinrun edit: if you want to post more poetry after your initial post there is a edit button located to the top right of your initial post. Click this and you will be able to edit your post rather then double posting.


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empire killed family
need money for X-wing


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 7:20 am 
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Posts: 8027
Joined: Mon May 31, 2004 5:00 am
Location: Thornhill, Ontario
Gender: Male
Your first poem, "Running" is good, not the best, but it's good. I think you got a bit too goofy as this poem could've been very serious and heartfelt but I think you weren't aiming for that. It seems like a nice poem but the message I think you're trying to get across isn't being received in the way I think you'd want it to be.

Your second poem, "Following the Fun", it's very good. I loved it, it was short and simple. Nothing better than that.

Your third poem, "A Power Unknown", is a good poem. I liked it, it was a bit odd with such words as 'da' hood' but I really liked it. Good job.

Keep up the good work!


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