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 Post subject: Legend Seekers Pt 1 (EDIT: Pt 2! EDIT2: and 3!)
PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 1:23 am 
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Location: On the triangular glass moon, partying with the wild hornets
This is the first series I've ever really tried to write, and I'm not sure how it'll go. It's a follow-up to my short story, To Distant Lands (published in 207 :D). I doubt many people read it, but... well. :P

Anyway, I'm looking for feedback. Did you find it interesting? Would you follow the series, based on this introduction? What can I change to improve it?

I'm also looking for beta readers, if anyone's interested. I know it's asking a lot, but... but... I'll try to make it interesting! ;D And I'll give you lots and lots of hornet cookies!

So, yeah - comments and crits welcome. I've rambled on for long enough. :P

Quote:
Legend Seekers - Destiny Discovered (Part I)

***

The air was thick with birdsong, and the morning sunlight poured down on the shoreline like an ocean of fire. It was exactly three hours and eighteen minutes since Pemero and Jen had sailed to Mystery Island - in a stolen boat, no less - and had made the journey in a matter of days.

Pemero stared at the golden-white sands as he paced, wondering what the next step was. In all honesty, he hadn't believed for a moment that the plan would work - just that it would provide an interesting distraction for the day. It was true, however, that the young Kougra had dreamed of exploring Mystery Island - he was born there, but had moved to Krawk Island as a tiny cub.

Back at the boat, Jen was starting to wake up. She stretched, shook her black fur clean and hopped out of the boat lightly. She was startled as her feet touched sand, rather than the familiar carpet of her room. So, it hadn't been a dream. They must have reached land!

"Pemero! Where are we now?" she called out, glancing frantically around. "This doesn't look like Krawk Island!"

A moment later, Pemero appeared from behind a clump of palm trees.

"Well, that's because it <i>isn't</i> Krawk Island," he grinned, showing pearly-white teeth. "I think you'll find we're on <i>Mystery</i> Island."

Jen sighed in response, failing to return the silver cub's grin. "Well. So we are," she said, taking in her surroundings. "What are we going to do now? We're pretty much stuck... the boat might not be stable enough to take us back. I'm not willing to try it again..."

She trailed off. Pemero stopped grinning and looked at the ground guiltily.

"I know you didn't ask to be drawn into this, Jen... and if you want to go back to Krawk Island, I'll pay for you to get a ferry back. But I'm staying right here, come rain or shine - Mystery Island must have some secrets, or it wouldn't be a Mystery, would it?"

"I think you're making a mistake, Pemero," the Wocky chided softly. "But I'll go with you. I'm here now - I might as well make the most of it... and I suppose friends work best together."

Pemero brightened up instantly. "I'm glad you still consider me a friend." Jen said nothing, but smiled in reply. "So. Let's go! We have some preparing to do," he called, bounding off in the direction of the nearest village. Jen sighed.

"You'll never learn!" she replied, but she followed anyway, running to keep up.

***

They soon found themselves in the middle of a bustling marketplace - vendors were selling goods ranging from battle dung to Darigan paint brushes. The streaming sunlight meant that the atmosphere in the crowded streets was sticky and humid, and everyone seemed to be moving in slow motion.

The two felines kept their heads down, and looked for useful stalls as they made their slow way past buyers, sellers and tourists. Pemero reached into the pocket of his rucksack and pulled out a small, brown bag of coins.

"Not much, but it will do," he said jovially. Jen's lips thinned slightly.

"I hope so, because I don't know where we'll get more," she said.

"You worry too much," laughed Pemero. "We'll find a way around it."

Soon, Jen spotted what they were looking for - an adventure stall. It was guarded by an old meerca, who waved his cane at possible buyers as they went past, yelling things like "Going adventurin'? Get provisions here! There ain't a better or cheaper place anywhere on the island!"

The two moved forward cautiously, and the old Meerca spotted them quickly.

"Lookin' to do a spot of shopping?" he said, showing off a set of yellow teeth. He waved his cane across the table at his products, which included weapons, manuals on dangerous plants, and various artifacts which (the Meerca claimed) were extremely powerful. They looked at the selection of objects, and back at their measly back of money.

Suddenly, Pemero's eyes widened as they fell on a bracelet, made entirely out of translucent purple stone. It looked ordinary, but something about it was decidedly different.

"I'll take that," said Pemero, pushing half their money at the vendor, much to his friends dismay. The old Meerca grinned again, tossed the money into a dirty glass jar, and handed the bracelet to Pemero.

"Thanks for doing business with us!" called the Meerca as they left the stall behind. Jen was practically dragging Pemero away.

"You have to be responsible! You'll never survive out in the jungle at this rate!" she said.

"Like I said, you worry too much." Pemero replied, looking entirely unfazed as he pulled the bracelet onto his left paw.

"Ooh, look! It's a Faerie!" yelled the Wocky, pointing at a girl with tangled black hair, pink wings and a grass skirt.

Pemero stayed where he was while Jen ran over to talk with Jhuidah. She'd always had a passion for faeries, much like his love of adventure, and would give almost anything to have wings. Moments later, Jen was back, baskets of fruit in hand.

"See? I told you. Faeries really are great. This will last us for days!"

Pemero packed the food into his bag, and lifted it carefully, expecting a lot of weight.

"It's really light, too," said the young Kougra in awe. "It's almost full, but no heavier than it was before."

"Well, that's magic," said Jen simply.

***

By that evening, they were almost ready to set off. They had packed everything, and spoken to the locals, who knew the Jungle and had given them sound advice.

"Well, is that everything?" Pemero asked. "I think it is..."

Jen looked thoughtful for a moment. "There's one more thing I'd like to do, before we go. Thing is, we might not come back and... and I'd like to send my owner a letter, just so she knows where I am."

Pemero nodded. "That's a good idea. I wish I'd thought this through more carefully. Still - you have to take chances in life..."

"So, are you writing one too?"

"Yeah, okay."

They pulled out the cheap pencils they'd bought at the market, and Pemero pulled two pages from his diary, handing one to Jen.

"Dear Yuka," Pemero started.

"I hope you can forgive me for leaving so suddenly, and not telling you - but I'm doing something amazing! I've made my way to Mystery Island, and I'm going to discover it's every secret. I hope the others are doing well, and that you're not too worried about me - I can take care of myself, so there's no need to stress. I'll be sure to bring something neat back for you all. Thanks for being the best family in the world.

-Pemero"

Jen was busy writing her own letter three feet away. It was hard to think of a good way to start these things, she reflected, knowing they might be the only contact with home in a very long time.

"To Emma,

I know you'll be wondering where I've gone, and what I'm doing. Well, I'm on a strange kind of adventure with Pemero. You know what he can be like when he gets a crazy idea. Anyway, I'm currently on Mystery Island, and about to make my way into the depths of the jungle. I'm sorry for not warning you - but I didn't know myself until it was too late to do anything about it.

I might not be able to write again, but don't worry about me. Tell the others I'll be okay, and I'll be sending you all presents when, and if, I get out of here alive. Again, I'm really sorry, and I hope you're not too mad. Take care of yourselves, okay?

Signed, Jen."

Together, they pocketed the pencils and folded the letters. Jen paid for first class delivery to Krawk Island - it used up their last neopoints, but it was worthwhile. Soon, they were both back at the edge of the forest, holding their magical torches at arms length.

The sun was long set, and the sky was slightly cloudy, but it wouldn't be a problem. The rainforest was huge, green and daunting, a force of nature that could destroy them in an instant if it wanted to. They both shivered.

"This is it, then," said the silver Kougra.

"I guess so." Jen replied softly.

And with that, they took their first steps over the earthy ground, milky in the light of their torches - and left their old world behind them.


(It's probably full of mistakes as usual. :roll: If anyone spots something, I'd be grateful if you could let me know! :D Thanks!)


Do not take your usual journey of missed opportunity and narrowness, for you can make yourself unwanted and already dead. Better you brace yourself, give thanks for what you have and what is to be won, and WAKE UP AND LIVE. -Taken from Resolve, by Leo


Last edited by Yukarana on Sun Sep 25, 2005 8:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 2:25 pm 
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Location: On the triangular glass moon, partying with the wild hornets
Part two.

Quote:
It was the third night of the big adventure. Though travelling in the jungle certainly had downsides, the upsides far outweighed them - or so Pemero thought. For every meal, they ate fruit and drank water from puddles in giant leaves; and every night they slept in the lower branches, where they were dry and safe.

"The forest is beautiful," said Jen, gazing up at the sea of green leaves and twisting branches. "For the first time, I'm glad to be here."

"So... does this mean you're going to stop whining on about my recklessness?" Pemero asked, grinning down at Jen from his high branch.

"Oh, okay, I'll try." laughed the Wocky. "I suppose I have been a bit... uh, bitter towards you. Still, it wouldn't have hurt to let me know!" she groused.

"Sorry about that. I still don't regret it, though," grinned the cub, before leaping to the ground, crunching a dead leaf underfoot. "Anyway. Don't you think we should have set off by now?"

"You're right. I suppose we'd better leave now. Maybe today will be the day we find our fortune!"

"Or solve the mystery of Mystery Island!"

Grinning from ear to ear, the two young pets set off half-running, half-dancing over twisting roots and fallen fruit.

***

They travelled all day, stopping only for a quick snack or to drink from a puddle. The day was relaxing, but largely uneventful - until an hour before sunset.

"I heard something about a temple around here," Jen muttered. "Maybe we should look for that?"

"If it's been discovered, it'll be full of tourists," Pemero sighed. "No good for adventuri--... hey, what's that?"

He was pointing at a log. Curious, Jen went to investigate it.

"There's nothing here, Pemero!"

"No! Look <i>under</i> the log. I think I can see something!"

It turned out to be a sheet of white lined paper, covered in dust and grime. Jen retrieved it carefully, and handed it to Pemero.

"It's just a blank sheet," he sighed, obviously disappointed.

"What? I'm sure I saw writing on it.."

"Well, it's not there now."

Without another word, they continued walking, although some of the spring had left their step. By that time, the sun was almost gone.

The two young adventurers became gradually more tired as the light faded from the sky to the west, plunging them into near-darkness. Pemero pulled the two magical torches from his trusty rucksack, and activated them with a quick wave of his paw. Jen took one carefully, and they held it in front of them as they walked.

Soon, they came to a tree with low-hanging branches. There they stopped, and extinguished the lights. Both of them were thoroughly exhausted - they had travelled a long way for a single day.

"We should sleep here tonight," sighed Jen. "I can't go any further and it's getting really late."

"Me too," Pemero yawned. "Good-night, Jen."

The Wocky had fallen asleep already, leaving Pemero in silence. It wasn't long before he too drifted off into a world of dreams, full of light and adventure, a long way from any form of reality.

***

Pemero woke first. A soft rustle drifted up from the ground. He shook the dew from his fur, then dropped down as silently as possible. He examined every leaf and stone carefully, but saw nothing.

Whatever had made the noise, it was gone. The cub relaxed slightly.

No, wait! What was that? A flash of light caught his eye, and he turned his head sharply. Something had been there, all right. Curiosity roused, he stalked off, taking care not to wake Jen.

The sun was out properly now, but mist still hung in the air like low-flying clouds, and it felt like ice. The source of the flash was in plain view now, not three feet away, and moving ever more slowly.

It turned around, and for a moment Pemero was sure it had glared at him. Undeterred, he called out, but it was already moving again - though more slowly still. Could it be?

Pemero fell into stride beside the mysterious creature. A closer look proved his suspicions - it was a Light Faerie. She had beautiful wings, covered in swirling patterns that looked like sunlight liquefied. She also looked as if she had sustained injury, and could barely move as a result.

"Are you okay?" asked Pemero, but the anonymous faerie didn't reply - she had collapsed.

Against the dark brown, maroon and faded green of the forest floor, the glowing creature stuck out like a white weewoo in a field of mutant meepits. A moment or two passed. Pemero decided to call for Jen - being an expert on Faeries, she might be able to help.

The faerie lifted her head and smirked as the kougra turned his back. Young pets were, often, ridiculously naiive in the workings of magic. She waited until he was at the edge of the clearing, then called out to him.

"Young Kougra! I... I need your help..."

Pemero turned around, puzzled but relieved to see the faerie awake.

"My friend knows about faeries. I can go get her if you want - I don't really know if I can help..." he trailed off.

"You will be able to help me. Just do as I say, and quickly... I am fading..." she said softly.

"Okay. I'll do my best. So, what do I have to do?" he asked, tail twirling worriedly.

"Take this crystal jar, and fill it with water. Not just any water," she added, "but water from the topmost leaf of the highest tree in this clearing. Once you've done that, tie the leaf to the lid of the jar using that bracelet, and bring it back to me."

Pemero just nodded. It seemed like the right thing to do, and it wasn't exactly dangerous apart from the climbing. The sky was speckled with white clouds now, and midday was approaching quickly.

The cub scooped the jar up in one paw, and made for a towering banan tree three to four meters away. He reached it in two bounds, leaving pawprints on the dank, wet floor. The bark was almost as slippery, but it wasn't a problem - his claws stopped him from skidding.

From the ground, the mist was invisible - but as the Kougra scrambled up the tree-trunk, it seemed to get thicker and thicker, until he felt like he was swimming in a cloud of milk. The top branch was just out of reach. It would just take a little stretching...

Got it! Carefully, he bent the branch holding the leaf, and drained the liquid into the jar. It was filled just past the halfway point, and reflected light like Pemero's own fur, as if the water held some magical quality.

Now for the leaf. The cub flexed a single claw, and broke the vine easily. The huge leaf floated down into Pemero's outstretched, silver paw. So far, so good. Lifting the bracelet from his left wrist, he secured the leaf to the lid of the jar as the faerie had instructed.

There - it was done. Now he could help the faerie and get out of there. Holding the jar securely under one arm, the cub slid down the trunk headfirst, controlling his descent with his back claws.

It was a smooth landing - his fur was caked with mud, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that the faerie was nowhere to be seen.

Setting the jar down carefully where the faerie would be able to find it, he set off to find Jen, his feet pounding in time with his heart.

***

When he arrived back at the clearing, Jen was gone. It was mid-afternoon by then, and the sun would be setting in an hour or two. Surely, she wouldn't have left so soon before nightfall?

Maybe she'd gone to look for him - but the only pawprints in the mud were his own. There was no sign of the Wocky anywhere - no scraps of fur, no dark shapes higher up in the branches. Breathing hard, he climbed into the branches and squinted up at the canopy. He saw a bright light, but the next moment it was gone.

A white shape lay forgotten in the mud just below Jen's branch. With a shudder, Pemero realised it was the paper they had found earlier. From the looks of it, Jen had written on it - black ink smudged the paper, obscuring the messy handwriting so that the cub had to pick it up to read it. As he touched it, however, the words and the ink disappeared, leaving the sheet pure white.

"Jen? Are you there?" he called, peering upwards again, but his only reply was his own voice echoing back. With a sigh, he flopped down onto the lowest branch and fell into a deep slumber. Searching would have to wait.


I know it's kind of bad, but that's why I need your help. Don't be afraid to post, even if you didn't read all if it! Thanks!


Do not take your usual journey of missed opportunity and narrowness, for you can make yourself unwanted and already dead. Better you brace yourself, give thanks for what you have and what is to be won, and WAKE UP AND LIVE. -Taken from Resolve, by Leo


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 8:18 pm 
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Location: On the triangular glass moon, partying with the wild hornets
Part 3! Wow, that was fast... for me. :P

Quote:
A week and a half later, Pemero was still alone. He'd searched high and low for his best friend, but there was no sign of her - not even a whisker. Finally, he'd tucked the parchment into his pocket and moved on in the hope that Jen would turn up later.

<i>You shouldn't have left her behind,</i> said a voice in his mind. <i>You're no friend to Jennifer at all. What if something's happened to her?</i>

Shaking his head to clear the thought, the silver cub marched on, determined to ignore the voice of his conscience. It would do no good to think that way, he realised - she would probably be waiting for him further along.

There was the matter of the Light Faerie he'd left behind, too - it was very irresponsible, really, but what else could he have done? It was too far to run for help, and searching was only good for so long.

It was painfully humid again - the spring was long gone now. How much longer would he be travelling alone? It hurt to think of Jen - lost somewhere, hurt, in need of help - so Pemero didn't think. He just walked, and walked, and walked some more until the sunset came.

Well - time to turn in for the night. He searched for a low branch to sleep on, and found one without much difficulty. It was a clear night, according to the patchy sky - there were stars out. Actually, it was only one star, but it was so bright and pretty that it didn't matter.

"Goodnight, Jen," Pemero said as he drifted into sleep.

***

It was still dark when Pemero opened his eyes for the morning. It had rained during the night, and the ground was soaked - his fur would get muddy again, but it wasn't an issue. Pulling his rucksack back onto his shoulders, he clambered down and set off again.

The star was gone now, but so were the rainclouds. The forest was thinning out slightly; the trail was wider, and the trees were smaller and more scarce. Soon, Pemero would arrive - where, he didn't know, but it would be a relief to leave the forest behind.

The leaves were a more vibrant green in this part of the forest, and it was much more pleasant overall. It was all so strange, so much to take in - did this happen on an average adventure? The answer might be just over the next horizon - but it might be laced with danger or even death. Should he continue, or turn back and wonder forever?

For an adventurous cub like Pemero, the answer was obvious.

Pemero turned the corner to see the sun rising on a field of jet black. The forest stretched into nothing, only to be replaced by a desert of black sand. It stretched out for miles, broken only by the occasional dead tree or slate of pale grey stone.

On the horizon, the silhouette of a mountain was barely visible. It wasn't Techo Mountain... but Pemero had never heard about any other mountains on Mystery Island. It was made of stone as black as the endless desert before him, and towered fifty miles into the sky.

"Wow," he muttered to himself. This was the perfect destination for his big adventure! What would he find on the top of the mountain? Riches? Paint Brushes? Magic? There was only one way to find out...

***

With renewed enthusiasm, the cub set off across the dusty dark plain, stopping along the way to drink from his water bottle. Within half an hour, he looked more like a Shadow kougra than Silver - not that he minded. Camouflage might be useful if he was attacked.

The sun beat down heavily, and Pemero had to drink more and more as the sun rose towards the centre of the sky. By noon, he was almost out of water, and had to start eating Juppies for their juice.

"I wish I had thought of this sooner," said the cub to himself as he munched down his third Juppie. "They really hold a lot more juice than just water."

"Do they?"

Pemero whirled around to face the source of the voice, but nothing was there.

"Who-who's there?" stuttered the bewildered Kougra.

"I'm no one. Just a guide. You can't see me yet - and the only reason for that is that you're just not ready."

"Oh... okay," said Pemero. "I understand." In actuality, he <i>didn't</i> understand, but he didn't want to make this mysterious creature angry by asking questions. According to legend, disembodied voices usually belonged to powerful beings, such as Faeries and elementals. According to reality, they shouldn't have existed at all - but this one did.

The sunset came early that day, and Pemero curled up at the foot of a dead tree to examine the parchment again. He laid the sheet flat on the floor, and pinned it down with small rocks before lighting the magical torch.

"I wonder what this means," Pemero said.

"Put it away! That's a dangerous magical artifact!" came the reply.

"No dice," the cub replied. "I found it, and I want to know what it means."

"If you won't put it away..."

"No, I won't." Pemero looked smug. After all, if this thing had no physical presence, how could it stop him from doing something?

Looking back at the parchment, Pemero realised it was starting to get fainter, like a dying rainbow. A second or two later, it was gone completely.

"I'll take care of this. Don't worry," the voice rushed out, since Pemero was panicking. "I haven't destroyed it. You can have it back later."

"Okay, fine," Pemero grumbled. "Just don't pull any more weird tricks."

***

As the pair travelled, the weather grew steadily worse. Every day for the next week, the clouds seemed to get thicker and the rain heavier, although there had been no storm. One more day would see them reach the foot of the mountain, if all went as planned. There was only one problem.

"Oh, wait! I forgot to ask. Where are we going, exactly?"

"...that mountain over there," Pemero replied cautiously. "Why does that concern you?"

"Mountain? Oh, that's no mountain! It's a volcano! It hasn't erupted in years, but top scientists say it's getting more active all the time."

"Well... it's too late to turn back now," sighed Pemero. "I wish I'd known earlier."

"It won't affect you. I doubt you'll get into any real danger - if you do, I'll fly you to safety."

"You can do that!? Wow!"

"Well, I am a Faerie, you know..." muttered the voice.

"A Faerie?" asked the cub, his voice laced with surprise.

"...drat. I shouldn't have said that."

"Oh, no! I'm not scared. Actually, that reminds me - I met a Faerie in the rainforest--" Pemero started.

"--whatever!" the voice snapped. "We're almost at the foot of the volcano now - by tomorrow morning, we should be there."

"Great. I wonder what's up there?"

Pemero didn't hear it, but the strange voice replied.

"You'll find out soon enough, my little friend..."

***

Finally, he was there, at the foot of the volcano. It seemed bigger now than ever before, and a thousand times more daunting. Had he really believed it was possible to climb this?

Squinting, the cub looked upwards. He could just about see the summit - so it wasn't completely impossible. Anyway, the word impossible isn't true - it's just a term people use for things that take a long time and are very difficult.

Pemero had made it through the jungle, losing his best friend along the way, and now he was faced with a new obstacle. Had he expected a life of adventure to be easy and predictable? It was a simple thing to do, as many things are, but it was more difficult than anything he had ever faced.

<i>You've failed again,</i> his mind sneered. <i>What were you thinking, coming out here alone?</i>

<i>But I'm not alone,</i> he reminded himself. <i>I have my guide with me. And I'm not turning back now.</i>

"Well, we're here," said Pemero, waiting for the voice to respond. No answer came. "Hello? Are you there?"

It seemed the voice had left him for the time being. Or maybe it had never really been there. Maybe Pemero had conjured it up from his imagination to combat his loneliness and make him forget his guilt over Jen.

"Ah, well," he sighed. "Better an adventure alone than none at all."

And with that, he gripped the wall of the volcano and began to climb.


Do not take your usual journey of missed opportunity and narrowness, for you can make yourself unwanted and already dead. Better you brace yourself, give thanks for what you have and what is to be won, and WAKE UP AND LIVE. -Taken from Resolve, by Leo


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