Wooden Man Competition |CLOSED!| (Third "Match")

[lionheartwitty]

Disclaimer: This is a contest to oppose Chipper's for my own amusement, and hopefully the amusement of others. It is not meant to offend anyone, especially Chipper. It is merely an alternate for me to enjoy seeing as I still paid the price even though I couldn't help but be absent in her contest. And now, to get on with it:

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To enter, post the most useless statement you can think of in reply of the first "match". When I feel like preventing further entries, I'll do so. I will start posting "matches" to test your wit. Each match will present whatever irritating mind game that pops into my twisted little mind.
The objective is to post a very incorrect or just plain useless answer. Being definitive in your incorrect or useless answer will gain you a "whit". This "whit" will go towards your overall score in the end in some mysterious way I dare not describe to mere mortals.

Bonus "whits" are remunerated to those who possess class or sadism in their worthless, pathetic replies. Anyone who agrees with your reply in any way in their reply loses a "whit". Anyone who answers even a part of my "match" correctly loses a "whit". If you can't say anything worthless or perfectly incorrect, don't even post.

Don't even HINT the correct answer.

I'm not kidding!

One "whit" is rewarded regardless of any detail for simply responding to a "match" at least once. No bonuses for first replies. Late replies are fine, but you better catch up in being worthless before the end of the last "match". Do try your luck in being additionally worthless in extra posts. You might be witty and silly enough to gain an extra something-or-other you can launch at a rival or hide in your lair for the last round's point tally. But there are mysterious ways to overdo it. >_> ... <_<

Side note: We'll start off with something horribly easy to go crazy with and work our way up to the expert things to be clowns about.

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Match Oh-Ehn-Ee
The Question: You can lead a horse to water, but...
(Complete this statement)

Last edited by lionheartwitty on Wed Jun 08, 2005 11:49 pm, edited 3 times in total.

[WIS]

You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot stuff Arrow in a small Microwave oven.

[JellyFish72]

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't stand on your head while gargelling the alphabet.

[hiddenneggs]

You can lead a horse to water, but . . . a wet horse doesn't smell much better -- and it doesn't improve the water any, either.


water: You must not have pushed hard enough.
Jelly: How else would you cure hiccups?

[TDG]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't electrocute a horse with car leads...animal activists get upset

[lionheartwitty]

You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot stuff Arrow in a small Microwave oven.

watericesage recieves 2 "whits" and a small microwave oven. Don't know what the small microwave oven is good for... but some else might.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't stand on your head while gargelling the alphabet.

JellyFish72 also recieves 2 "whits". Jelly also gets the hiccups. For the duration of the next "match", Jelly must express their hiccups.

You can lead a horse to water, but . . . a wet horse doesn't smell much better -- and it doesn't improve the water any, either.

water: You must not have pushed hard enough.
Jelly: How else would you cure hiccups?

hiddenneggs recieves 3 "whits" and a jar of jelly.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't electrocute a horse with car leads...animal activists get upset

the_dog_god gets 3 "whits" and car leads.

<WE*-----------s-----><

Excellent so far, everyone... those of you who recieved less "whits" are still doing very well. At least they didn't get stuck with one "whit" like I expected the first entries to be, or worse, no "whits". And remember this phrase, "Definitively incorrect and/or amusingly useless."

[krisgp]

You can lead a horse to water, but why would you bother doing that? Small children are easier to carry and more amusing to watch as they drown.

[Syrill]

You can lead a horse to water, but the insane monkeys of doom will still attack and spontaneously combust apples! Actually, Twizzler would incinerate them but...*shrug*

[Jens]

You can lead a horse to the water, but you can also grill a pony on your handy Playstation 3.

[Scholastic]

You can lead a horse to water, but [insertthebeststatementhere].

[.:Compact Disk:.]

You can lead a horse to water but Abby my Leprachaun friend and her Invisible Friend Bob, who is a Disco Flying Leprachaun Monkey wearing roller skates, will both just shave your hair off anyway.

[lionheartwitty]

You can lead a horse to water, but why would you bother doing that? Small children are easier to carry and more amusing to watch as they drown.

3 "whits" and a meter's length of twine.

You can lead a horse to water, but the insane monkeys of doom will still attack and spontaneously combust apples! Actually, Twizzler would incinerate them but...*shrug*

3 "whits" and a dozen apples.

You can lead a horse to the water, but you can also grill a pony on your handy Playstation 3

3 "whits" and a completely useless Dreamcast, unless you wield it properly for melee encounters.

I can hardly wait until the Playstation 3 comes out, horse meat will be easier to grill in large quantities then.

You can lead a horse to water, but [insertthebeststatementhere].

2 "whits".

Allow me. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it juggle four empty milk jugs while doing the charleston on top of a landscaping timber.

You can lead a horse to water but Abby my Leprachaun friend and her Invisible Friend Bob, who is a Disco Flying Leprachaun Monkey wearing roller skates, will both just shave your hair off anyway.

4 "whits" and a shiny new pair of Leprachaun Monkey sized rollerskates.

<RE>.-----------E------->

"Match" Two starts soon. Feel free to post any meaningless commentary you might have until I feel like putting it up. Below is a scoreboard in assorted flavors for your enjoyment. I will now watch A Series of Unfortunate Events for the twenty-second time.

watericesage: 2 +small microwave oven
JellyFish72: 2 +next "match" with the hiccups
hiddenneggs: 3 +a jar of jelly
the_dog_god: 3 +car leads
krisgp: 3 +meter's length of twine
Syrill 3 +a dozen apples
Jens: 3 +a useless Dreamcast
Scholastic: 2
.:Chronically Depressed:.: 4 +a shiny new pair of Leprachaun Monkey sized rollerskates

[Trinity]

You can lead a horse to water, but that annoying butterfly will still catch your att... Oooh, a butterfly!

[sir_michael]

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't use your l33t ninja skillz on your sibilings... or can you...

[.:Compact Disk:.]

IM LYK WINNING AN STUFF LYK!!!111!!!11oneone11!!shift+1!!!!!!111elavon111!!!11111one11

Um SM, Twinkle I think that meant that this round is over...