I can't beleive this..-_-

Website · Sat Dec 11, 2004 9:32 am

My friend Ashleigh's mum died on thoursday morning....she died of lung cancer , poor Ashleigh and Conner (her little brother who is in 1st grade) losing their mum already. I am her best friend so any suggestions on cheering her up.....?

R.I.P Mrs Marion Wyper

Sat Dec 11, 2004 9:55 am

Cheering up is the last thing she'll need right now. I know it seems like the best thing, but its much to early for her.

The only thing you can do is be there for her, comfort her. We all need a good cry when we lose someone we love, and having someone to cry to is the best thing there is. Just letting her know you care is all she'll need.

She probably just wants a shoulder to lean on for now. Once the crying stops, then maybe its time to think about cheering her up a little more.

Sat Dec 11, 2004 9:59 am

Yea, there isn't really anything you can do in that situation. Just let her know you're here to listen.

Website · Sat Dec 11, 2004 10:04 am

Shes ok now , she got over it because i told her how her mother suffered from cancer and probally her mum wanted to die and leave all the suffering. So i just need some little suggestion on where i can take her next weekend.

Sat Dec 11, 2004 10:30 am

No offence, but I doubt she's 'got over it'

Website · Sat Dec 11, 2004 12:45 pm

I agree with Igg. Losing someone is hard, especially if it's one of your parents or a sibling, and getting over it in thirty-two minutes would be quite extraordinary.

But still, if you wanted to cheer her up and take her somewhere, you should take her somewhere she's never been before. Like, for a new experience.

Sat Dec 11, 2004 3:22 pm

Igg wrote:No offence, but I doubt she's 'got over it'

Yeah, people just don't get over death. It takes time and sometimes people may be hiding what they really feel. I'd ask her what she'd like to do over the weekend

Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:14 pm

Something I was told when my father died when I was 9 years old:

You never ever get over death. You just get used to it.

And I don't think I would have told her that. Chances are, she does not feel better, but in fact feels worse, and is putting on a good face for you.

Sat Dec 11, 2004 5:08 pm

Many people deal with death different ways. I got lucky, because of my humour (macabre at best) I was able to laugh about it, and joke. But its not uncommon for people to shove it all inside, and everytime you feel like breaking down, you just tell yourself to stop and shove it down, deeper and deeper, untill you can't find the bottom of you anymore. Death isn't something to get used to, and Meowth, i'm sorry someone had to say that to you. Death isn't something unnnatural, it would be easier to deal with. Death is scary, and Cancer is scary, and that it might be genetic is scary. so al you need to do right now, is be there for her, no matter how hard she pushes you away, be it with smiles, or harsh words. A friend in your worst time of your life, can mean the difference to being self destructive (suicidal, wrist slitting ect) and almost being healthy. After death, no one really is the same. there is always a sad little feeling when people leave your life, and eventually, the pain dulls, but you heart is still broken.

Sat Dec 11, 2004 5:14 pm

I'm not sorry someone said that to me, I think it's extremely true. There's a part of me that will never get over my birth father's death, and all of me will never get over my stepfather's death. I've just gotten used to them not being there.

Sat Dec 11, 2004 5:47 pm

Ah death, the one person you can expect to never die. I dunno, it still seems a bit harsh to tell someone that it gets better over time. It may, but no need to inspire hope that she could get over it. Parents death are always traumatizing (hope i spelt that right)

Website · Sat Dec 11, 2004 6:39 pm

This sounds weird, but I think what you need to do is give her space. Most of the time people are in a state of shock for about a week or two, probably more if it's someone that close like a mother. I think she needs to come to grips with the situation with herself.

Sat Dec 11, 2004 6:51 pm

Aww...It seems like everyone's dying around here -_-

Trying to cheer your friend up may seem rather insensitive, and I highly doubt she's over it so quickly. Just be there for her, y'know, a shoulder to lean on or something...

Sat Dec 11, 2004 10:42 pm

Awwww, I'm so sorry!

The best thing you can do is give her lots of hugs and comfort, as already said. In maybe a month or so, you can do something really fun with her.. but yeah, not yet.

Good luck.

Sun Dec 12, 2004 1:17 am

Can't really tell you where to take her, seeing as I wouldn't want to be taken anywhere, and if someone tried to take me I would probably scream my head off and cry worse.
Depends on the person.