Advice needed!
Mon Mar 07, 2005 11:02 pm
I'm in a bit of a situation, and I could use a little advice, so if anyone has any, it would be greatly appreciated.
Ok. Last year I let my friend use my diskman, which she broke. I told her at the time that I wanted 90$ for it so I could buy a new one. She said she would get me the money, but she was a little tight up right now, but that she would have it to me within 3 months. I was pretty mad, so of course I had to forget about the other stuff of mine which she had. She had my purse, my wallet (which had about 40$$ in it), and a few CD's, as well as a few miscellaneous items. She looses it all. I tell her she has to pay for that as well, which added up to around $200, but I told her 150$ would be fine. She said she would have it to me at the same time as the money for the cd player, within 3 months.
That was a year ago, and I have yet to get a penny from her. She has made no effort to contact me, while I call her every night. As if this isn't all bad enough, she appears to have left town. No one knows where I can get ahold of her. But I'm getting desperate now that I'm starting to feel guilty for asking my parents for money all the time. And $250 is a lot.
And so I pose a question to all the lovely people here. What should I do? I can't get ahold of her, but I need the money. I would feel guilty for asking her parents, but there's no other way I can get it (that I can see), and I can hardly let that much money slip through my fingers.
Do I ask her parents? Wait until I can get ahold of her? What should I do?
Thanks in advance, and sorry if that doesn't make sence. If anything is unclear, just ask.
Ok. Last year I let my friend use my diskman, which she broke. I told her at the time that I wanted 90$ for it so I could buy a new one. She said she would get me the money, but she was a little tight up right now, but that she would have it to me within 3 months. I was pretty mad, so of course I had to forget about the other stuff of mine which she had. She had my purse, my wallet (which had about 40$$ in it), and a few CD's, as well as a few miscellaneous items. She looses it all. I tell her she has to pay for that as well, which added up to around $200, but I told her 150$ would be fine. She said she would have it to me at the same time as the money for the cd player, within 3 months.
That was a year ago, and I have yet to get a penny from her. She has made no effort to contact me, while I call her every night. As if this isn't all bad enough, she appears to have left town. No one knows where I can get ahold of her. But I'm getting desperate now that I'm starting to feel guilty for asking my parents for money all the time. And $250 is a lot.
And so I pose a question to all the lovely people here. What should I do? I can't get ahold of her, but I need the money. I would feel guilty for asking her parents, but there's no other way I can get it (that I can see), and I can hardly let that much money slip through my fingers.
Do I ask her parents? Wait until I can get ahold of her? What should I do?
Thanks in advance, and sorry if that doesn't make sence. If anything is unclear, just ask.
Last edited by VeraX on Tue Mar 08, 2005 1:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
Mon Mar 07, 2005 11:11 pm
The one thing you have to learn is if you lend something, don't expect it back. x_x I have lost so many things this way...
Mon Mar 07, 2005 11:16 pm
She sounds like a kleptomaniac (one who takes stuff whether they need or want it or not), or just your average thief. I'd talk to her parents, she's clearly not a good friend and is probably doing that to other people, even themselves, as well.
By the way, I have a hunch she didn't lose that stuff you gave her. It would be rather careless of someone to lose $40 and a bunch of CDs.
EDIT: Did she show you the broken CD player, or just tell you that it was broken? If she just told you, she probably still has that somewhere as well.
By the way, I have a hunch she didn't lose that stuff you gave her. It would be rather careless of someone to lose $40 and a bunch of CDs.
EDIT: Did she show you the broken CD player, or just tell you that it was broken? If she just told you, she probably still has that somewhere as well.
Last edited by DiscordantNote on Mon Mar 07, 2005 11:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Mon Mar 07, 2005 11:16 pm
*Coughs and points to the Legend of Dragoon game and PS1 memory card she still needs to get back from friends*
I guess the best hope you have is to ask her again for it? I dunno.
I guess the best hope you have is to ask her again for it? I dunno.
Mon Mar 07, 2005 11:29 pm
My husbands ex was and still is the same way. If me or my sis in law walked into my inlaws house with bags of new clothes, as soon as we would turn around she would take some of the stuff and never wear it.
She also stole a bunch of her best friends shirts and told her friend she had lost them. Her friend finally got fed up and called the cops on her and low and behold the stolen 'lost' shirts were in the back of her closet where she stashed other stolen stuff, so when the people it belonged to came over, they would never see it.
I would suggest maybe talking to your parents first so they know whats going on. Then you yourself go to her parents and talk to them so that way if they dont do anything or try to point the finger at you or call your parents to claim your lying or whatever, your parents allready know ahead of time whast going on.
I only say thsi becasue the girl I mentioned before, her parents tried to turn the blame around to the girl whos stuff was stolen saying she lied and that none of the stuff belong to her and blah blah blah.
Good luck.
She also stole a bunch of her best friends shirts and told her friend she had lost them. Her friend finally got fed up and called the cops on her and low and behold the stolen 'lost' shirts were in the back of her closet where she stashed other stolen stuff, so when the people it belonged to came over, they would never see it.
I would suggest maybe talking to your parents first so they know whats going on. Then you yourself go to her parents and talk to them so that way if they dont do anything or try to point the finger at you or call your parents to claim your lying or whatever, your parents allready know ahead of time whast going on.
I only say thsi becasue the girl I mentioned before, her parents tried to turn the blame around to the girl whos stuff was stolen saying she lied and that none of the stuff belong to her and blah blah blah.
Good luck.
Tue Mar 08, 2005 12:44 am
DiscordantNote wrote:By the way, I have a hunch she didn't lose that stuff you gave her. It would be rather careless of someone to lose $40 and a bunch of CDs.
EDIT: Did she show you the broken CD player, or just tell you that it was broken? If she just told you, she probably still has that somewhere as well.
Oh, you don't know her. She is the most careless person I have ever met. She slept over at my house once and forgot to take her stuff with her, so I wouldn't put it past her to loose someone else's stuff.
Although, with the Cd player, I was lending her mine under the impression she didn't have one. Once she broke it, she told me I could "use" hers when I wanted if she wasn't using it. Then she told me that she used to listen to mine every night so that she wouldn't wear hers out
But, hers was at least 3 years old, and mine was 2 months old. So I don't really doubt that she still has it, seeing as some of my friends as well as some of hers have suggested it.
Re: Advice needed!
Tue Mar 08, 2005 1:14 am
VeraX wrote:I'm in a bit of a situation, and I could use a little advice, so if anyone has any, it would be greatly appreciated.
Ok. Last year I let my friend use my diskman, which she broke. I told her at the time that I wanted 90$ for it so I could buy a new one. She said she would get me the money, but she was a little tight up right now, but that she would have it to me within 3 months. I was pretty mad, so of course I had to forget about the other stuff of mine which she had. She had my purse, my wallet (which had about 40$$ in it), and a few CD's, as well as a few miscellaneous items. She looses it all. I tell her she has to pay for that as well, which added up to around $200, but I told her 150$ would be fine. She said she would have it to me at the same time as the money for the cd player, within 3 months.
That was a year ago, and I have yet to get a penny from her. She has made no effort to contact me, while I call her every night. As if this isn't all bad enough, she appears to have left town. No one knows where I can get ahold of her. But I'm getting desperate now that I'm starting to feel guilty for asking my parents for money all the time. And $250 is a lot.
And so I pose a question to all the lovely people here. What should I do? I can't get ahold of her, but I need the money. I would feel guilty for asking her parents, but there's no other way I can get it (that I can see), and I can hardly let that much money slip through my fingers.
Do I ask her parents? Wait until I can get ahold of her? What should I do?
Thanks in advance, and sorry if that doesn'y make sence. If anything is unclear, just ask.
I'm just to lazy to read all of that. XP
DiscordantEdit: ...which means you don't reply at all, since you have no idea what the topic is about, especially in this way because it's spam. You should know better by now.
Tue Mar 08, 2005 2:13 am
Take her to a small claims court, try to go on Judge Judy! Even if you loose they give you money for being on the show lol.
Honestly though you may be able to take her to a small claims court, however it will be tough to prove that she said she'd pay you back or that she admited to breaking your items. If you can get some evidence that would help. All that would be left is to issue a subpeona for her to have to go to court. You can do this by finding a process server, yellow pages have some, and most likely you can fill out a form which can be found in your county's court webpage. This is a long shot if it's not worth it to you, and I'm most definetly not an attorney and I do not claim that this will work or that it's the same type of process where you live I don't know if it will work that way for you in whatever state you are but it's just a suggestion and not legal advice of any sort. Call an attorney maybe they can give you a quick run down on what to do for free, or go to a legal forum.
Next time she asks for something, as awkward as it may be to do this but maybe you can ask her to sign some type of written contract. If she feels like you shouldn't ask her that since you are her friend and that you should trust her, well just let her know that your past experiences with her and these type of things really don't leave you much choice. Be kind about it and be serious and honest.
Honestly though you may be able to take her to a small claims court, however it will be tough to prove that she said she'd pay you back or that she admited to breaking your items. If you can get some evidence that would help. All that would be left is to issue a subpeona for her to have to go to court. You can do this by finding a process server, yellow pages have some, and most likely you can fill out a form which can be found in your county's court webpage. This is a long shot if it's not worth it to you, and I'm most definetly not an attorney and I do not claim that this will work or that it's the same type of process where you live I don't know if it will work that way for you in whatever state you are but it's just a suggestion and not legal advice of any sort. Call an attorney maybe they can give you a quick run down on what to do for free, or go to a legal forum
.
Next time she asks for something, as awkward as it may be to do this but maybe you can ask her to sign some type of written contract. If she feels like you shouldn't ask her that since you are her friend and that you should trust her, well just let her know that your past experiences with her and these type of things really don't leave you much choice. Be kind about it and be serious and honest.
Tue Mar 08, 2005 2:17 am
Best thing you can do is talk to her parents. I mean, if she has taken things from you, has no intrest in you, then she's not a good friend and 250 is ALOT of money. Tell her parents in detail what it is she has of yours most likely they will find it around the house somewhere.
This is a major issue and it needs to be confronted.
This is a major issue and it needs to be confronted.
Tue Mar 08, 2005 2:23 am
Talk to your parents about it, and then try to get her parents to cough up the money. If things get serious, like she still won't give you the money, you could always take it to court, but that's a tad drastic.
Tue Mar 08, 2005 2:44 am
fzun wrote:Talk to your parents about it, and then try to get her parents to cough up the money. If things get serious, like she still won't give you the money, you could always take it to court, but that's a tad drastic.
Yup, court would be a last resource as it can end up costing you money as well. Unless it's Judge Judy!
Tue Mar 08, 2005 2:50 am
Charisma wrote:fzun wrote:Talk to your parents about it, and then try to get her parents to cough up the money. If things get serious, like she still won't give you the money, you could always take it to court, but that's a tad drastic.
Yup, court would be a last resource as it can end up costing you money as well. Unless it's Judge Judy!
you must really like that Judge Judy, my Mom had a co-worker who was invited to go on that show for a small claim...they didn't do it though.
Tue Mar 08, 2005 2:53 am
Lady Night wrote:Charisma wrote:fzun wrote:Talk to your parents about it, and then try to get her parents to cough up the money. If things get serious, like she still won't give you the money, you could always take it to court, but that's a tad drastic.
Yup, court would be a last resource as it can end up costing you money as well. Unless it's Judge Judy!
you must really like that Judge Judy, my Mom had a co-worker who was invited to go on that show for a small claim...they didn't do it though.
Haha, nah I don't even watch it. No I lie, I watch it when none of my other 4 channels are playing anything good or are too static for me to be bothered to fix them
. I just remember her most out of all the other judges on tv and I remember in highschool a professor told us about how those shows work. Someone asked why people would go on those shows to be treated like that, and it's because in the end they end up paying them just for being there even if they loose. She had had friend who considered going on.
Tue Mar 08, 2005 4:32 am
I suggest stabbing her with a plastic spork until she pays back. 
But honestly, bother her parents about it. This is pretty major, as $250 can get you an Ipod. OPr borrow stuff of hers and lose it.
But honestly, bother her parents about it. This is pretty major, as $250 can get you an Ipod. OPr borrow stuff of hers and lose it.
Tue Mar 08, 2005 5:52 am
I got lost after all that Judge Judy, but I'll give you my input as well (assuming you haven't already resolved it). Talk to your parents about it first. Don't start by saying "I need a few hundred bucks to spend" or "I lost $250, can you lend me some" or something that implies that you need money because you somehow "misplaced" it. If your parents are anything like mine, they won't listen past that and start yelling at you. If anything, you want to start the way you started talking to us about it (something like "You know my friend Blah, well I lent her my blahblah a year ago…").
Ask your parents about it. I know that seems really strange and out there. I know that I wouldn't want to be the one telling my parents about something like this or hearing it come out of their mouth because someone else told them. But really, parents have a whole lot to say that could help in life. I only recently found out that I was talking to the "wrong" parent, if you know what I mean.
I would suggest following what your parents have to say. And if possible, ask your parents to ask her parents for you. I know that I feel more comfortable around adults if my parents have talked to them first (ie: I had to get some recommendation thing from my teacher. I got my mom to e-mail them about it and agree to it and I just handed them the form the next school day. I would have felt really awkward just going up to them and asking "Hey, can you fill this out for me, please?").
I'm sure you'll get money one way or another. Whether that's from her, her parents or your parents, I'm pretty sure you'll get it. And if that doesn't work, yah. Go with the plastic spork.
Ask your parents about it. I know that seems really strange and out there. I know that I wouldn't want to be the one telling my parents about something like this or hearing it come out of their mouth because someone else told them. But really, parents have a whole lot to say that could help in life. I only recently found out that I was talking to the "wrong" parent, if you know what I mean.
I would suggest following what your parents have to say. And if possible, ask your parents to ask her parents for you. I know that I feel more comfortable around adults if my parents have talked to them first (ie: I had to get some recommendation thing from my teacher. I got my mom to e-mail them about it and agree to it and I just handed them the form the next school day. I would have felt really awkward just going up to them and asking "Hey, can you fill this out for me, please?").
I'm sure you'll get money one way or another. Whether that's from her, her parents or your parents, I'm pretty sure you'll get it. And if that doesn't work, yah. Go with the plastic spork.