Depressed for... no reason?
Sat Aug 27, 2005 9:28 am
Alright, so here's the low-down on all of this:
As most of you probably don't know, the sequel to 'Eragon' called 'Eldest' was released this Tuesday, on the 24th.
That's only the beginning of my worries.
I suppose I should start from the beginning: ever since the start of 6th or 7th grade, there seems to be some kind of a... a barricade around my true mind. It's not like putting on a mask and pretending to be someone I'm not, it's just like I'm not... really myself. Sometimes the barricades do go down, like when I'm truly happy, at completely random times, or when I'm writing. These shields do some kind of good, like increase socializing and intelligence and whatnot, but they're a disadvantage, as if someone was in my mind doing things, but yet it's still not really pretending to be someone else.
If that makes sense.
Anyway, last night I felt really, really happy about something, and went to bed to read Eldest. Now I don't want to give away any spoilers except this: UTMOST AND CERTAIN BETRAYAL in the last chapters of the book when it *accidently* fell to the floor. Now it was like a mountain had split in half to reveal a defenceless village, and an army poured towards the village and slaughtered all thought and leaving only sadness.
I don't know how exactly to describe this, or WHY: perhaps it's my lack of being with other human beings this summer? (I'm rather isolated) Or perhaps it's my lack of sleep that's been going on and off ever since I got back from Yellowstone Park? I just can't really... really FEEL anymore, no thoughts, no emotions...
I thought that perhaps the only way back to sanity was to either finish the blasted book or talk to someone about it. Since none of my contacts had finished it or even LIKE the book, I hastily finished it, but now it's like I was starving, given a Meat Pot Pie, and then was rejected anymore, or in other words, anticipating for the final and last book.
I can't understand why this betryal-thing is getting me down. When *someone* died in HBP I wasn't even sad, and I like HP more, but when someone betrays another ultimately in this book that I haven't even liked for that long... now that, that is weird.
I asked a friend and she said that I should just get some sleep.
iconoedit: Some people have managed to avoid that particular spoiler so far, let's not ruin it for them now. (=
As most of you probably don't know, the sequel to 'Eragon' called 'Eldest' was released this Tuesday, on the 24th.
That's only the beginning of my worries.
I suppose I should start from the beginning: ever since the start of 6th or 7th grade, there seems to be some kind of a... a barricade around my true mind. It's not like putting on a mask and pretending to be someone I'm not, it's just like I'm not... really myself. Sometimes the barricades do go down, like when I'm truly happy, at completely random times, or when I'm writing. These shields do some kind of good, like increase socializing and intelligence and whatnot, but they're a disadvantage, as if someone was in my mind doing things, but yet it's still not really pretending to be someone else.
If that makes sense.
Anyway, last night I felt really, really happy about something, and went to bed to read Eldest. Now I don't want to give away any spoilers except this: UTMOST AND CERTAIN BETRAYAL in the last chapters of the book when it *accidently* fell to the floor. Now it was like a mountain had split in half to reveal a defenceless village, and an army poured towards the village and slaughtered all thought and leaving only sadness.
I don't know how exactly to describe this, or WHY: perhaps it's my lack of being with other human beings this summer? (I'm rather isolated) Or perhaps it's my lack of sleep that's been going on and off ever since I got back from Yellowstone Park? I just can't really... really FEEL anymore, no thoughts, no emotions...
I thought that perhaps the only way back to sanity was to either finish the blasted book or talk to someone about it. Since none of my contacts had finished it or even LIKE the book, I hastily finished it, but now it's like I was starving, given a Meat Pot Pie, and then was rejected anymore, or in other words, anticipating for the final and last book.
I can't understand why this betryal-thing is getting me down. When *someone* died in HBP I wasn't even sad, and I like HP more, but when someone betrays another ultimately in this book that I haven't even liked for that long... now that, that is weird.
I asked a friend and she said that I should just get some sleep.
iconoedit: Some people have managed to avoid that particular spoiler so far, let's not ruin it for them now. (=
Sat Aug 27, 2005 10:06 am
I feel like that.
I hate it when in books, there are some things I cannot change. Maybe sleep would do you good. =)
-hug-
I hate it when in books, there are some things I cannot change. Maybe sleep would do you good. =)
-hug-
Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:18 pm
Sleep deprivation can do very strange things to your feelings... but if there's no solidly identifiable cause to your feeling distressed, you should really talk to a doctor about it.
Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:33 pm
iconoplast wrote:Sleep deprivation can do very strange things to your feelings... but if there's no solidly identifiable cause to your feeling distressed, you should really talk to a doctor about it.
^ Agree with both things you said.
About the book though, I can offer advice: It doesn't matter. It's fictional.
Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:47 pm
I can understand being upset about the book; when you get really into a book or movie, it's almost like it's real, and you can become very attached to the characters. I cried at both HPB and OOP, though more at OOP, because I loved that character to death. Then again I'm sort of strange; I cry often at books and such, but hardly ever for real happenings.
I don't know how old you are, but hormones in the preteen and teen years can often cause strange mood swings and feelings that you may not be used to. This is a normal part of growing up, and although it sucks it's something that we all have to deal with.
If, however, as you said, you've been feeling down or not yourself for a long time, and you hardly ever seem to snap out of it, you should do something about it. As Iconoplast said, see a doctor or counselor.
It's good that you said you were feeling very happy just before you started reading, but the feeling of not being yourself all the time probably isn't a good thing (though it may just be a natural result of hormones, as I've said).
Again, I don't know how old you are, but I'll say this just in case:
Substance abuse (drugs, alcohol, tobacco) is not a solution to any problem. They will only make things much, much worse!
Ugh. I sound like my Growth Ed teachers. *gets down off soapbox*
*ahem* In any case, I hope you're able to break out of this and start feeling like yourself again ASAP!
I don't know how old you are, but hormones in the preteen and teen years can often cause strange mood swings and feelings that you may not be used to. This is a normal part of growing up, and although it sucks it's something that we all have to deal with.
If, however, as you said, you've been feeling down or not yourself for a long time, and you hardly ever seem to snap out of it, you should do something about it. As Iconoplast said, see a doctor or counselor.
It's good that you said you were feeling very happy just before you started reading, but the feeling of not being yourself all the time probably isn't a good thing (though it may just be a natural result of hormones, as I've said).
Again, I don't know how old you are, but I'll say this just in case:
Substance abuse (drugs, alcohol, tobacco) is not a solution to any problem. They will only make things much, much worse!
Ugh. I sound like my Growth Ed teachers. *gets down off soapbox*
*ahem* In any case, I hope you're able to break out of this and start feeling like yourself again ASAP!
Sat Aug 27, 2005 3:14 pm
Oh, I know that feeling....It happened to me when I found out that Yoh and Anna had a son. I was unexplainably blah for a couple of days, but then it went away. Then I got it again when Ren 'died', but that wasn't as severe because I'm not nearly as attached to him.
Just keep living, remember that yes, it's a shock, but it's really only a story. And don't think it's a stupid reason to be depressed, because that'll just make it worse. More people should read this way. (Sorry if it sounds like I'm ranting, but my mom's been trying to squish my getting attached to fictional things for a while.)
-hugs- It'll go away. You just have to live through it a while
Just keep living, remember that yes, it's a shock, but it's really only a story. And don't think it's a stupid reason to be depressed, because that'll just make it worse. More people should read this way. (Sorry if it sounds like I'm ranting, but my mom's been trying to squish my getting attached to fictional things for a while.)
-hugs- It'll go away. You just have to live through it a while
Sat Aug 27, 2005 5:44 pm
Yeah, I do feel a bit better. I suppose it was pretty silly about that thing in a book... 
Maybe it was just one of those phase things.
But I still have to do something about this sleep deprivation problem! Every DAY for the past three weeks I've been sleeping at 2-3 AM and waking up at 10:30.
Oh, and I'm 13.
Maybe it was just one of those phase things.
But I still have to do something about this sleep deprivation problem! Every DAY for the past three weeks I've been sleeping at 2-3 AM and waking up at 10:30.
Oh, and I'm 13.
Sat Aug 27, 2005 8:19 pm
I know how you feel about the book -_- at the end of some books, I just get really...down, and upset. the end of eldest surprised me, too. I mean...I guessed it, but it still left me feeling all bitter-like.
I'm glad you're feeling better.
I'm glad you're feeling better.
Sat Aug 27, 2005 10:48 pm
Thanks... but I keep feeling all these weird 'depressed periods' when, for no reason, I just feel this kind of hopelessness, and I'm starting to think that my little phase here isn't from Eldest, but from something else...
Here are all the special things that've happened to me lately:
Yellowcard concert - GETTING TICKETS TONIGHT MONDAY 26TH OF SEPTEMBER CONCERT DATE OMG OMG
NT acceptance - 2 debut pieces in the SAME issue!
Eldest. (durr)
School starts soon.
Here are all the special things that've happened to me lately:
Yellowcard concert - GETTING TICKETS TONIGHT MONDAY 26TH OF SEPTEMBER CONCERT DATE OMG OMG
NT acceptance - 2 debut pieces in the SAME issue!
Eldest. (durr)
School starts soon.
Sat Aug 27, 2005 11:41 pm
Tyrannitar wrote:Thanks... but I keep feeling all these weird 'depressed periods' when, for no reason, I just feel this kind of hopelessness, and I'm starting to think that my little phase here isn't from Eldest, but from something else...
Here are all the special things that've happened to me lately:
Yellowcard concert - GETTING TICKETS TONIGHT MONDAY 26TH OF SEPTEMBER CONCERT DATE OMG OMG
NT acceptance - 2 debut pieces in the SAME issue!
Eldest. (durr)
School starts soon.
Hey! No! Give me your Yellowcard tickets! *steals*
Sun Aug 28, 2005 1:32 am
System Of A Down>Yellowcard SOAD comes 9/25 Whoop whoop!
Back on topic, since it's close to school time/it is school time, I heard that anxiety to new teachers, fear of the unknown, etc. can cause mood swings, isolation, basically what depression does for ya (the stuff Zoloft abd that stuff cures/fixes/whatever).
If not that, then you might have a mild bipolarism. It basically swings your mood from almost too happy it's insane to almost...... yeah. The swings sometimes occur over things you would think are stupid i.e. dropping a book you're reading. I'm no doctor, but I do know some things about mental disabilities, if you will.
SOAD comes 9/25 Whoop whoop!
Back on topic, since it's close to school time/it is school time, I heard that anxiety to new teachers, fear of the unknown, etc. can cause mood swings, isolation, basically what depression does for ya (the stuff Zoloft abd that stuff cures/fixes/whatever).
If not that, then you might have a mild bipolarism. It basically swings your mood from almost too happy it's insane to almost...... yeah. The swings sometimes occur over things you would think are stupid i.e. dropping a book you're reading. I'm no doctor, but I do know some things about mental disabilities, if you will.
Sun Aug 28, 2005 1:35 am
It's nothing abnormal to not have emotions or thoughts when something 'big' happens in a book.
Just because you didn't cry when *someone* died doesn't mean you're not human.
Just because you didn't cry when *someone* died doesn't mean you're not human.
Sun Aug 28, 2005 1:39 am
Destinyte wrote:System Of A Down>Yellowcard
squee, I love you!
I am sad though. I wanted to go see SOAD in portland in october, but my parents won't let me. understandable I suppose, as it's 2 hours away and I hear that a SOAD mosh pit is something to be very very afraid of
oh well.
are you going to see them?
Sun Aug 28, 2005 1:56 am
Destinyte wrote:System Of A Down>Yellowcard
Back on topic, since it's close to school time/it is school time, I heard that anxiety to new teachers, fear of the unknown, etc. can cause mood swings, isolation, basically what depression does for ya (the stuff Zoloft abd that stuff cures/fixes/whatever).
If not that, then you might have a mild bipolarism. It basically swings your mood from almost too happy it's insane to almost...... yeah. The swings sometimes occur over things you would think are stupid i.e. dropping a book you're reading. I'm no doctor, but I do know some things about mental disabilities, if you will.
I don't know anything about SOAD... but I do know that I love Yellowcard. Especially Sean.
Sun Aug 28, 2005 5:52 pm
It could be something else. You could *think* you're upset about that but really be worried/anxious about something else. Is school starting? You could be anxious or scared about that. And I hate to sound like a parent here, but all teens occasionally feel like that, because of hormones.
However, if it happens a lot and nothing makes you feel better, and you become uninterested in what you used to be interested in, you could have depression. Talk to your parents and doctor. Now, I'm not a doctor or anything, I'm just suggesting that it's a possibility, so don't take my word for it. I actually was diagnosed with it at 12 and they later said it was 'serious depression.' They have medications for that type of thing. Don't let it control your life.
Sorry about my life story...I'm just talking about a worst-case scenario.
However, if it happens a lot and nothing makes you feel better, and you become uninterested in what you used to be interested in, you could have depression. Talk to your parents and doctor. Now, I'm not a doctor or anything, I'm just suggesting that it's a possibility, so don't take my word for it. I actually was diagnosed with it at 12 and they later said it was 'serious depression.' They have medications for that type of thing. Don't let it control your life.
Sorry about my life story...I'm just talking about a worst-case scenario.