*sigh* I was just trying to do the right thing...
Tue Oct 11, 2005 8:16 pm
...and because of that I got called something really horrible and offensive by a total stranger. It would be very inappropriate for me to post what they called me so I'm not going to. Anyway, the full story...
I work as a volunteer in a charity shop and it was closing time. We had in fact been closed for twenty minutes and I had done the vaccuming and was tidying the clothes railings before me and the other staff went home. There was a knock at the shop door and these two women, an older woman and a younger woman were standing there. There was also a little girl with them. They had bags of clothes and stuff and I kindly told them that we were closed. They said they had clothes that they wanted to donate and so I told them to hang on while I got the manager. It just so happened that the manager was busy and so I went back and told them that it was a bit hard because we closed. To be honest, I was very confused at that point because I didn't know if I was doing the right thing or not. I wanted to do the right thing and I hoped they would understand but they didn't. The young woman called me a horrible name and glared at me really nastily and the other woman stared at me and they all walked off.
I've not let it show to other people. As far as they're concered everything is fine. No harm done. But inside I'm punishing myself. Really bad. I've hurt myself (nothing serious) and told myself that I deserve to be in that pain because no matter what I do it's always the wrong thing. I'm so stupid. I've always been like this. Punishing myself. Other people just think it doesn't bother me when stuff like this happens.
I'm dreading going into work tomorrow incase those women come into the shop now that they know where I work. I'm scared that they're going to be horrible to me again. And what's worse, I have this horrible masochistic streak in me that feels I deserve to be treated like that by those women. What the heck is wrong with me?
I work as a volunteer in a charity shop and it was closing time. We had in fact been closed for twenty minutes and I had done the vaccuming and was tidying the clothes railings before me and the other staff went home. There was a knock at the shop door and these two women, an older woman and a younger woman were standing there. There was also a little girl with them. They had bags of clothes and stuff and I kindly told them that we were closed. They said they had clothes that they wanted to donate and so I told them to hang on while I got the manager. It just so happened that the manager was busy and so I went back and told them that it was a bit hard because we closed. To be honest, I was very confused at that point because I didn't know if I was doing the right thing or not. I wanted to do the right thing and I hoped they would understand but they didn't. The young woman called me a horrible name and glared at me really nastily and the other woman stared at me and they all walked off.
I've not let it show to other people. As far as they're concered everything is fine. No harm done. But inside I'm punishing myself. Really bad. I've hurt myself (nothing serious) and told myself that I deserve to be in that pain because no matter what I do it's always the wrong thing. I'm so stupid. I've always been like this. Punishing myself. Other people just think it doesn't bother me when stuff like this happens.
I'm dreading going into work tomorrow incase those women come into the shop now that they know where I work. I'm scared that they're going to be horrible to me again. And what's worse, I have this horrible masochistic streak in me that feels I deserve to be treated like that by those women. What the heck is wrong with me?
Tue Oct 11, 2005 8:23 pm
First of all, nothing is wrong with you. You're amazing, and, no matter how you feel, no matter how much you think you deserved what the women did to you, you didn't. 
Secondly, you shouldn't be punishing yourself. Those women were in the wrong. Not you. them. You were closed. If they can't read, it's their problem. If they were really charitable, they would come back the next day at an appropriate time to donate their stuff.
They had a little girl with them, and yet they called you a rude name in front of this girl? And you think you're in the wrong? Hon, of course you're not! Come on, you're way better then them. Don't dread going into work tomorrow. Just storm in there, ready for anything.
Remember, it's for charity. -hug-
Secondly, you shouldn't be punishing yourself. Those women were in the wrong. Not you. them. You were closed. If they can't read, it's their problem. If they were really charitable, they would come back the next day at an appropriate time to donate their stuff.
They had a little girl with them, and yet they called you a rude name in front of this girl? And you think you're in the wrong? Hon, of course you're not! Come on, you're way better then them. Don't dread going into work tomorrow. Just storm in there, ready for anything.
Remember, it's for charity.
-hug-
Tue Oct 11, 2005 8:50 pm
If the woman was asking you to open the store for her, when you knew that if you did you might get in trouble, then she is most DEFINATLY at fault! Just ignore what she said, as she is just trying to stir you into feeling bad about her mistake.
If the woman comes in tomorrow, I would just act casual to her and if she starts being mean to you and calling you names, I would refuse to serve her and get my manager. She is technically abusing you, and that is really low.
And don't hurt yourself. You do not deserve to be punished. If anything, THEY are the ones that should be punished. Especially if she swore in front of that child and the old woman.
If the woman comes in tomorrow, I would just act casual to her and if she starts being mean to you and calling you names, I would refuse to serve her and get my manager. She is technically abusing you, and that is really low.
And don't hurt yourself. You do not deserve to be punished. If anything, THEY are the ones that should be punished. Especially if she swore in front of that child and the old woman.
Last edited by Ixistant on Tue Oct 11, 2005 9:36 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Tue Oct 11, 2005 8:52 pm
Yeah the woman is clearly a massive GENERIC NAME FOR A FEMALE CANINE and you shouldnt pay her any heed. There are horrid people in the world and one day you've got to accept that they DO exist, and that you're better than them.
Tue Oct 11, 2005 8:56 pm
No matter where you work, how nice most of your customers/clients are, there is always that one. That one who comes in 20 minutes after you've closed up and are getting ready to go home and expect you to put your personal life on hold (and because you're minutes from leaving work, it is your personal life, not your work life) to see that they are satisfied.
You did what you could, you said that the shop was closed but you would see if the manager could work something out. The manager was not available and the situation was left in your hands. You were not in a position to take the donations, and you said that it would be easier if they could come back tomorrow when you were open again. She didn't like that you didn't bend over backwords to help her donate the items, so she was rude and mean.
If she comes back, don't avoid her, treat her as if she is a respectable customer as you would any other customer. However, I would make someone else wait on her, since she thought it was ok to call you a mean name. When you act as if she had no effect on you, it'll throw her off. And you can be confident that you didn't do anything wrong.
Don't blame yourself for others rudeness. Take your experence with rude customers, and do you best to never become one of them.
I worked at a theater for six months, we had several people mad as ever when they came to the movies (we only showed one movie a night and stopped selling tickets 30 minutes after the movie started) 60 minutes into the movie and couldn't understand why we couldn't sell them a ticket. If I had hurt myself for everytime someone was rude, snide, mean, and downright stupid to me, I would be dead.
You cannot blame yourself for other people's rudeness. You're not responsible for them and it is not your fault.
*hugs* Just shrug them off, sure its not that easy, but you gotta try and put them out of your mind so you can live a happy life.
...somehow you managed to put everything I said into a one paragraph.
How I hate you and your non-long windedness.
You did what you could, you said that the shop was closed but you would see if the manager could work something out. The manager was not available and the situation was left in your hands. You were not in a position to take the donations, and you said that it would be easier if they could come back tomorrow when you were open again. She didn't like that you didn't bend over backwords to help her donate the items, so she was rude and mean.
If she comes back, don't avoid her, treat her as if she is a respectable customer as you would any other customer. However, I would make someone else wait on her, since she thought it was ok to call you a mean name. When you act as if she had no effect on you, it'll throw her off. And you can be confident that you didn't do anything wrong.
Don't blame yourself for others rudeness. Take your experence with rude customers, and do you best to never become one of them.
I worked at a theater for six months, we had several people mad as ever when they came to the movies (we only showed one movie a night and stopped selling tickets 30 minutes after the movie started) 60 minutes into the movie and couldn't understand why we couldn't sell them a ticket. If I had hurt myself for everytime someone was rude, snide, mean, and downright stupid to me, I would be dead.
You cannot blame yourself for other people's rudeness. You're not responsible for them and it is not your fault.
*hugs* Just shrug them off, sure its not that easy, but you gotta try and put them out of your mind so you can live a happy life.
Skullsplitter wrote:Yeah the woman is clearly a massive GENERIC NAME FOR A FEMALE CANINE and you shouldnt pay her any heed. There are horrid people in the world and one day you've got to accept that they DO exist, and that you're better than them.
...somehow you managed to put everything I said into a one paragraph.
How I hate you and your non-long windedness.
Tue Oct 11, 2005 9:15 pm
When working at an electronics store I had some rude woman who was clueless seemed to need to blame me for her cluelessness and started chatting like I knew nothing (at one point asking for another salesman). Anyway, got her what she needed in the end and sent her on her way to the till.
Point is, if we listened to these people who seem to think they are above store workers we would always be sad, just try and be the bigger person here and serve her as if nothing happens. If she mentions it, be calm and polite, e.t.c.
Chris
Point is, if we listened to these people who seem to think they are above store workers we would always be sad, just try and be the bigger person here and serve her as if nothing happens. If she mentions it, be calm and polite, e.t.c.
Chris
Tue Oct 11, 2005 9:40 pm
Skullsplitter, what gives you the right to call her a horrible name? If she's so horrible, didn't you just do the almost exact same thing?
I have to agree with Chris and most of what Anubis said. DO NOT ever, ever try to hurt yourself over people and their disguisting judgements and cruelty. People will be imperfect people. I really feel bad for that little girl, imagine what she goes through. Don't let it get to you, you are doing a beautiful deed. God bless you for that. I'll be praying for you and that family.
I have to agree with Chris and most of what Anubis said. DO NOT ever, ever try to hurt yourself over people and their disguisting judgements and cruelty. People will be imperfect people. I really feel bad for that little girl, imagine what she goes through. Don't let it get to you, you are doing a beautiful deed. God bless you for that. I'll be praying for you and that family.
Tue Oct 11, 2005 9:49 pm
You work as a volunteer at a charity shop... There is nothing more right than that. As for the woman, she was probably just peeved about the timing. Nothing of what you did was wrong.
I work at a theme park, and at a certain ride that has an age restriction of under 12 only... So one time some adult starts yelling at me on how he payed and wants to go on the ride, which got to a point where he started cursing at me. He made me feel bad about not letting him on, but I had strict rules, and I followed them... Just as you had, and that was the right thing to do.
I work at a theme park, and at a certain ride that has an age restriction of under 12 only... So one time some adult starts yelling at me on how he payed and wants to go on the ride, which got to a point where he started cursing at me. He made me feel bad about not letting him on, but I had strict rules, and I followed them... Just as you had, and that was the right thing to do.
Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:56 pm
Ginger, you and I are cut from the same cloth at times. It is so easy for us to hurt ourselves and feel worthless when someone goes out of their way to be mean and cruel to us. And, then our self esteem goes to hell in a handbasket. You need to trust your true instincts--those ones way down deep inside of you--and be strong when it happens.
And instead of punishing yourself for something that clearly wasn't your fault, you need to get angry. Angry at those people who were mean to you, just to be mean. You don't have to say anything to them. Or even act it out. Just realize that there is anger there. What they did was unjustified and it did leave you angry. And, then once the anger subsides, let it go. And realize that you are you, a wonderful person, despite what names people call you or how they act toward you. And shame on them for not seeing the worth and beauty in you. And give you the respect that you are due.
You, sweetie, did absolutely nothing wrong. And, deep down inside you know you didn't. So, don't beat yourself up about it. And, don't ever let them hurt you.
I wish I were there to give you a hug.
And instead of punishing yourself for something that clearly wasn't your fault, you need to get angry. Angry at those people who were mean to you, just to be mean. You don't have to say anything to them. Or even act it out. Just realize that there is anger there. What they did was unjustified and it did leave you angry. And, then once the anger subsides, let it go. And realize that you are you, a wonderful person, despite what names people call you or how they act toward you. And shame on them for not seeing the worth and beauty in you. And give you the respect that you are due.
You, sweetie, did absolutely nothing wrong. And, deep down inside you know you didn't. So, don't beat yourself up about it. And, don't ever let them hurt you.
I wish I were there to give you a hug.
Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:16 am
Kitten Medli wrote:Skullsplitter, what gives you the right to call her a horrible name? If she's so horrible, didn't you just do the almost exact same thing?
Yep, I think you're absolutely right. The woman in question is clearly a nice lady, and I was wrong to ever doubt this. I hope the world and your high horse can all forgive me.
Wed Oct 12, 2005 12:19 pm
Skullsplitter, feel free to disagree with Medli, but less of the attitude boyo.
Wed Oct 12, 2005 1:52 pm
Kitten Medli wrote:Skullsplitter, what gives you the right to call her a horrible name? If she's so horrible, didn't you just do the almost exact same thing?
Just my two cents, here. There is a big difference between what that woman did and what Skullsplitter did. What the woman did was totally unjustified. She insulted Ginger when Ginger did absolutely nothing to warrant the insult. What Skullsplitter did was justified. The woman insulted his friend. Therefore, he has a right to get upset.
And, personally, I agree with the words he chose to use. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, looks like a duck, smells like a duck, then it probably is a duck.
Wed Oct 12, 2005 3:08 pm
Morningstar for the win, as ever 
Wed Oct 12, 2005 3:19 pm
You're ALWAYS going to run into jerks, no matter where you work or what you do. Don't let it get to you, just try to shake it off. It's not your fault, you're working at a charity! It's just plain rude for someone to call YOU a name while you're out there volunteering your time- I mean you don't have to be there. Don't beat yourself up over it...hurting yourself is not the answer...I know.
Wed Oct 12, 2005 3:53 pm
Morningstar wrote:Kitten Medli wrote:Skullsplitter, what gives you the right to call her a horrible name? If she's so horrible, didn't you just do the almost exact same thing?
Just my two cents, here. There is a big difference between what that woman did and what Skullsplitter did. What the woman did was totally unjustified. She insulted Ginger when Ginger did absolutely nothing to warrant the insult. What Skullsplitter did was justified. The woman insulted his friend. Therefore, he has a right to get upset.
And, personally, I agree with the words he chose to use. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, looks like a duck, smells like a duck, then it probably is a duck.
To be fair to...um...myself, I do agree with you. T'was the reply to Medli that was a bit rudle, Skullsplitter, and you knowz it. *goes all gangsta, innit*