Friendship trouble.

[Twitchy]

I have two friends, x and y. Both of them are i year 10 (I am in year and I have known them for over a year now, and classed them as trustworthy friends.
I trusted x with a really big secret that i really didn't want everyone to know about as I was really embarased, and it was one of those things.
x promised that she would nor tell anyone.

Next thing I know, x told y and then y told half of year 10, who are telling toher people. This is a really big problem for me.

I sent x an e-mail saying that it wasn't true anymore (which is true) and asking her to tell y that as well. X sent me an e-mail back saying:


I have nothing to add here.
If I was a bad friend, I would hope you die a horrible death.

Now, since found out she told y, I have not been speaking to her, and she knos it, this e-mail is from early today.

Now, I don't know wjat to do, and y also won't stop teasing me about this secret, which I find really hurtfull, as she is saying it in a really loud voice and letting MORE people know about it.


What should I do?

[Kitten Medli]

Well, try to forgive x and y. Every chance you get, tell people it now a false statement. And for another piece of advice, never tell anyone your secrets but your parents. I'll pray for you.

[Twitchy]

Thanks, but x will jsut get in a strop and then try to make a fight out of it. I now because I have had past experience with her.

[Anubis]

Well, uh... I don't know if this is what you class as a really big secret, but my friends told a bunch of Year 7s that I love my History teacher. XD I don't, never have, never will (eww ._.), but eh. I don't care. it didn't get out anyways.

hohum, similar situation, but try and forgive x and y (very original names, btw). You know. they're your friends. x made a mistake. y shouldn't have told her friends. What happened happened.

[Trick]

I don't really understand the e-mail she sent you back - she has nothing to add and if she was a bad friend (which I guess she was blabbing something she knew she shouldn't) then you should die a horrible death?

It doesn't sound like much of an apology to me. When I was at school I looked at it this way, some people are good friends and some people aren't. I like good friends, goodbye other people

If she is a good friend who is sorry she made a mistake then try and forgive her but remember never to share secrets with her or this other person again. Secrets are best kept to yourself, share with no one except any real best friends who would never tell anyone or better yet keep a livejournal or something where you can express yourself without fear of it getting out. Hope it all works out for you and remember - whatever your secret was it will soon be yesterdays news

[Paulisacretin]

Yeurch, dump that rubbish. A real friend, someone who actually likes and respects you won't go blabbing stuff you said in confidence to them - And even if they do, if they care about you'll they'll understand that there's a line between you not wanting everyone to find out that you sat on a cake* and that you think you might be pregnant with the dirty/smelly kid's baby.

*I sat on a cake once, and when I told people it got me praise, because no one ever sits on a cake.

[Morningstar]

Yeurch, dump that rubbish. A real friend, someone who actually likes and respects you won't go blabbing stuff you said in confidence to them - And even if they do, if they care about you'll they'll understand that there's a line between you not wanting everyone to find out that you sat on a cake* and that you think you might be pregnant with the dirty/smelly kid's baby.

*I sat on a cake once, and when I told people it got me praise, because no one ever sits on a cake.

I agree totally with Skullsplitter. Dump both x and y. You don't need people like that in your life. Time is too short to waste it on people who don't respect you. And obviously, x did not respect you when she broke her promise not to tell the secret. However, if she says she is sorry and asks for forgiveness and is a really good friend, well, you might want to think about letting her be your friend again. But not trust her with secrets.

Now, about getting your reputation back. If at all possible, dig up evidence to prove that the secret is no longer true. And, don't go out of your way to shout it to the world, but have it ready to defend yourself when people are talking about you. And, if nothing else, hold your head up high. And, when you hearing people talking about you, look them right in the eye and say, "So what? What is the big smurfing deal if I _______" and walk away.

And, get y to stop if at all possible. If it was me, I would walk right up to y and in a very loud, controlled voice confront her. Something like "You know that you are a liar, don't you?" And hold your head high, act as calm and confident as you can, and walk away. Make sure that there are people around to hear that. And, hey, maybe they will start questioning whether y might indeed be lying.

People will keep talking about you if they know that they are getting to you and making you feel like a piece of toast. However, they will eventually stop if you are confident about yourself and don't let their words get to you.

And, hey, I speak from experience. When I was in high school, this guy spread some awful rumors about me doing certain things with my boyfriend. Which I did not do. So, what did I do? I walked right up to that guy and slapped him across the face. In front of my entire math class. And walked away. Not in tears. Very calm. Very cool. People's jaws dropped cause they didn't think a little tiny girl like me would have enough in me to slap a guy 12" taller than me. And he never said another word about me again. Unfortunately, in this day and age, you can't quite get away with hitting another classmate without getting a suspension, but you might get where I am coming from.

[Asthaloth]

Been here done this.
there was a saying that got me through it;
Dont get mad. get even.