When the Woman Makes More

[Sugarinii]

There was a study recently that says the woman is the primary breadwinner in 3 out of 10 famillies in Canada.

Now, this gets me to thinking. Women aren't expected to get married early on, stay home and pop out babies anymore. And now it's not unheard of for the women to be the primary caregiver, with a sort of 'househusband' partner.

In my experience, my mother is on her third 'life partner' (no I don't mean she's a lesbian(That I know of))(Because marriages are so passé these days), and she's always made at least twice as much as them.

So, I would like to ask (particularly of the guys): would it bother you if your partner made a lot more than you? Would be comfortable in a househusband/housewife role?

I, personally, would never be able to be a housewife. I just couldn't be financially dependant on someone else and not have a career, I'd feel imprisoned. I don't think I'd be bothered if my partner made more, even if it was signifigantly more. Unless it was a case where I was poor and they were wealthy, but that would be more to do with the fact that I desire affluence.

So, what do you all think and feel about this?

[werepup]

To be honest, with a life partner or husband, there will be times when one is more dependant on the other. At the moment, I depend on Kai, although there has been times where he's dependant on me. It just depends on what's happening in our lives at the time.

I reckon I'd enjoy being a housewife... I never thought I would when I was younger till I got to the broody stage.

[Shoyru_Lover]

I would be estatic if my wife made more than me.

[Pardona]

Well, if you can get over the fact that I'm only 20 and don't even have a gf at the moment, I'll give you my 2 cents.

I'd think I'd have no problem whatsoever with being being a househusband. I'd love to stay home, take care of the kids, cook, go shopping, and stuff like that. I might have to brush up on finances, but hey...
But there are several problems I see with this.
First, I don't think it is possible these days to have a comfortable lifestyle on a single income. If the wife is a career-chaser, and makes tons of money, then yes, it might, but there are, I think, limits to what one person can make in a single-income-family without making the other person feel at least slightly uncomfortable or robbing them of some of their self-worth.
The second problem I see is that all my life I have been told (and have somewhat experienced) that I am a very dependent person. Could this househusband role be considered an extension of that, and could that be considered entirely healthy?
All in all, I would think that, from a relationship point of view, it might be better to each get a part-time job. You share the house(-husband/-wife) part, no one can say to the other that they aren't doing the same they are, since you're both doing the same load of work. But when it comes to money, do two half jobs really make the same amount of money as one full-time job (considering that you want to have someone with the kids all the time)?

[Dragonfire]

My mom makes more than my dad (about three times as much), and he doesn't have a problem with it. And actually, when I was younger my dad stayed home to raise me and get his master's while she worked.

But as for myself, I could never stay home full-time and not work. I'd be fine if my wife made more than me, but I could never stay home and not work for a long period of time (meaning, maybe more than a year), because I feel that way. Now, that's not to say that I couldn't have a work-at-home job, that'd be fine.

[thelilbear]

I would absolutely love it if my boyfriend made enough so I didn't have to work. Of course, my career of choice is writing, which is very difficult to support yourself on. But if he made a lot of money, I could stay home and write all the time and not have to worry. And if I made money or not, it wouldn't matter. Plus I have plenty other hobbies that would keep me busy.

[Kugetsu]

Makes no difference to me, unless she's a stay-at-home mom and ends up with a bigger check than me, then there's obviously something up. Otherwise, so long as both are working (and there's no kid to take care of), then it doesn't matter to me who makes more, so long as both are working (or someone is taking care of the kid, if need be).

[Christopher]

If I had a money earning wife, I would probably use the opportunity to just learn things.

[thelilbear]

If I had a money earning wife, I would probably use the opportunity to just learn things.

yeah, i've always thought it i was rich it would be nice to take some of the different classes at the local colleges, and maybe a karate class. all the stuff i don't have time for with work

[Bangel]

I refuse to be a housewife. If I have a kid, my husband darn well not expect me to be the one to stay with it all day, every day... or I won't be having a kid. A marriage (or partnership, whatever) is based on, obviously, partnership. I don't personally want the kind of relationship where one person earns all the money and one person raises the children- I'd rather have a relationship where there are equal efforts by both people on both issues.

[Drake Redcrest]

I should certainly hope my standards will never slip to allow someone who made less than me into my life.

I will never, ever, EVER be a housewife, if (god forbid) I get married. Working = more money = more STUFF.

[Pixa]

Obviously with little experience in a partner earning more than me, being the ripe age of 15, I cannot give a totally clear insight into the subject. I don't think it would bother me, though.

However, my main reason for posting was to ask the females why they had such a great objection to being a housewife. My mother claims some of the happiest times of her life where when raising my brother and I, when she was indeed a housewife. What makes you willing to miss seeing your children develop and grow, but have a career instead? It's not an attack, just a slightly confused question.

In response to Bangel - in this partnership, with two people working, would you intend to send children to a nursery? Would you work at night to compromise, but risk seeing little of your partner?

[Xandra]

What makes you willing to miss seeing your children develop and grow, but have a career instead? It's not an attack, just a slightly confused question.

Men have careers and 'miss seeing their children develop and grow', but no one talks about them.

Furthermore, it's completely and utterly false that women and men who have both children and careers miss seeing their children develop and grow. My mom has a full-time job and yet has been the one to raise my sister and I- she's missed nothing.

To be honest, I don't at all see how working parents would miss seeing their children- people don't tend to work on weekends, which is the main time that anyone, housewives or not, spend with their children. If you mean at other times... Well, during weekdays children are at school most of the day, so I don't see how their working parent(s) would somehow miss out on raising them.

I hold no disrespect towards people who choose to not have careers and to instead stay at home, but there are a huge number of misconceptions about mothers in the workplace and the differences between their lives and the lives of housewives.

[Pixa]

What makes you willing to miss seeing your children develop and grow, but have a career instead? It's not an attack, just a slightly confused question.

Men have careers and 'miss seeing their children develop and grow', but no one talks about them.

Furthermore, it's completely and utterly false that women and men who have both children and careers miss seeing their children develop and grow. My mom has a full-time job and yet has been the one to raise my sister and I- she's missed nothing.

I was talking more about when children are at a pre-school age, obviously, when school starts, parents can focus on careers.

I was addressing the issue of females over males because the topic was primarily about females, though I suppose I have a slight bias as I was raised by my mum, and have a stronger bond with her than I do my father.

Thank you for the input, though.

[ahoteinrun]

Why does it matter who makes more?

No. Seriously. Why does it matter? Someone in a relationship will always make more, what does it matter if it's the man or the woman?