Current life questions

[shapu]

A few thoughts that are rattling around in my head (or, as my wife likes to call it, "noodlebowl"):

1) Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? Outside of a french restaurant, I mean. Despite the huge numbers of pigeons fouling our statues, parks, and shoulders, I haven't - I don't even think they exist. It's like pigeons reproduce through mitosis. And did you know that Mike Tyson trains pigeons? Does he train them to bite off other pigeons' ears?

2) Why is it that anyone would ever compliment anyone else on a memorandum? My first week in my first real job out of college, I wrote and distributed a memo describing the expectations for my position, and got complimented on it. Why would you do this? Who says, "Thanks, shapu, for letting me know what you do here, despite the fact that you're the third person to hold this position in the last 9 months and if I'd been paying one ounce of attention I'd have known what you do and how to utilize you to further my own professional objectives?" And why didn't any of my far more pertinent white papers get any attention at all? IT'S A FREAKING MEMO.

3) How long will it be until a major musical tour takes place with one of the supporting acts being a bunch of guys playing Guitar Hero or Rock Band on stage? Will they play their own music? Will they have to play on Expert Difficulty?

4) Where the bejabbers is the orange button?

5) Why is it that whenever I pose for a picture, I let one arm relax, but the other hand goes on my hip? It's not like I'm posing behind a shark I've wrestled from the sea with my bare hands. I'm relatively sure of this, because I've never caught a shark, nor have I wrestled one using my hands, or any other implement for that matter.

6) Who in the world lets Clive Cussler keep writing books? None of them are any good. Even by pulp standards they're terrible. Despite the crappiness of the books, why hasn't there been another Dirk Pitt movie? Sahara, while not at all like the book, was certainly plenty of fun, and a money-maker to boot. And everyone loves Steve Zahn, right?

7) Why are webcomics consistently better than their printed brethren? These are by and large drawn by amateur artists without the backing of large national syndicates, and they don't make money except n apparel sales. What happened to you, Jim Davis? Were you ever really funny?

8) Why are crocuses afraid of my neighborhood? Growing up in West Virginia, the crocus was the first flower of spring, the proof that the seasons were changing. And they're popping up all over the place elsewhere. What is it about my neighborhood that scares them? Is it the constant 24-hour barrage of hip-hop music? The 3-am car alarms that people are too lazy to turn off? The litter everywhere? Or is it just that I don't have a yard?

So, my fellow PPTers: what unanswered questions are occupying space in YOUR heads?

Last edited by shapu on Sun May 17, 2009 12:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

[Siniri]

So, my fellow PPTers: what unanswered questions are occupying space in YOUR heads?

What was Shapu taking when he thought of some of those questions?

[Blue]

Thanks, shapu, for letting me know your current life questions, despite the fact that you're the bazillionth person to pose such questions on the internet in the last 9 months and if I'd been paying one ounce of attention I'd have known what questions you have and how to utilize you to further my own sarcastic responses?

Actually, my only real current life question is "why am I still awake?" It's been a very full day of several draining events.

P.S. Excellent post!

[Helena]

1) Yes.

Also, your failed. It turned into a . Oh, hold on...

I used to have this big long list that my friend and I thought up of random questions. I need to find it...

[Shoyru_Lover]

1) Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? Outside of a french restaurant, I mean. Despite the huge numbers of pigeons fouling our statues, parks, and shoulders, I haven't - I don't even think they exist. It's like pigeons reproduce through mitosis. And did you know that Mike Tyson trains pigeons? Does he train them to bite off other pigeons' ears?

Hey now... now that you mentioned it... NOPE. I'm going to look for one now... or maybe they don't leave the nest until they look like adults?

3) How long will it be until a major musical tour takes place with one of the supporting acts being a bunch of guys playing Guitar Hero or Rock Band on stage? Will they play their own music? Will they have to play on Expert Difficulty?

How about gaming tours? Already happening. You're looking at gaming celebrities!!

4) Where the bejabbers is the orange button?

There's an orange button? WHERE!!!!

5) Why is it that whenever I pose for a picture, I let one arm relax, but the other hand goes on my hip?

You've learned a post bwahahaha and now you're using it.

7) Why are webcomics consistently better than their printed brethren?

I've noticed this too. The net has allowed anyone with talent to broadcast their work.

[Pittbunny]

Why does mass knowledge of a fad suck the life out of it?

Why, despite knowing that overdoing fads kill them, do people still do so anyway?

How does one fill out a summer job application without prior work? (Seeing as half of the application is a combination of previous jobs/references)

How does one gradually go about being admitted in to the polar bear club?

Why do certain freelance web designers have not one shred of style, yet others yield simply amazing layouts?

And a question that was just recently answered for me:
Just why do military men march out of step across bridges? (Engineers ahoy)

1) Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? Outside of a french restaurant, I mean. Despite the huge numbers of pigeons fouling our statues, parks, and shoulders, I haven't - I don't even think they exist. It's like pigeons reproduce through mitosis. And did you know that Mike Tyson trains pigeons? Does he train them to bite off other pigeons' ears?

Even being a city kid, I would have to say not up close. The only time I ever saw one was in a crook at a subway station, so I've always supposed that they stay secluded until they get to that familiar size.

2) Why is it that anyone would ever compliment anyone else on a memorandum? My first week in my first real job out of college, I wrote and distributed a memo describing the expectations for my position, and got complimented on it. Why would you do this? Who says, "Thanks, shapu, for letting me know what you do here, despite the fact that you're the third person to hold this position in the last 9 months and if I'd been paying one ounce of attention I'd have known what you do and how to utilize you to further my own professional objectives?" And why didn't any of my far more pertinent white papers get any attention at all? IT'S A FREAKING MEMO.

Going through the motions, I suppose. Socially acceptable to do such, and it isn't too hard to.

3) How long will it be until a major musical tour takes place with one of the supporting acts being a bunch of guys playing Guitar Hero or Rock Band on stage? Will they play their own music? Will they have to play on Expert Difficulty?

Give it a year or so.

5) Why is it that whenever I pose for a picture, I let one arm relax, but the other hand goes on my hip? It's not like I'm posing behind a shark I've wrestled from the sea with my bare hands. I'm relatively sure of this, because I've never caught a shark, nor have I wrestled one using my hands, or any other implement for that matter.

"Pic of my Good Side" syndrome?

7) Why are webcomics consistently better than their printed brethren? These are by and large drawn by amateur artists without the backing of large national syndicates, and they don't make money except n apparel sales. What happened to you, Jim Davis? Were you ever really funny?

[shapu]

A followup that came to me while I'm staying at a hotel in Kansas City on a work trip:

Why is it that while hotels always give you an iron and an ironing board, they never put outlets near an area big enough to actually USE the ironing board? The ironing board they gave me is in the front room of my suite - the only space that has a reachable outlet and is big enough to use it is 20 feet away.

By the way: best 80-dollar-per-night hotel EVER.

[Pittbunny]

A followup that came to me while I'm staying at a hotel in Kansas City on a work trip:

Why is it that while hotels always give you an iron and an ironing board, they never put outlets near an area big enough to actually USE the ironing board? The ironing board they gave me is in the front room of my suite - the only space that has a reachable outlet and is big enough to use it is 20 feet away.

By the way: best 80-dollar-per-night hotel EVER.

So that you ask for an extension cord, allowing them to charge extra?

[Blue]

Nah, its so you have to plug it into that only outlet which makes sure that the ironing board blocks your path from side A to side B of the room. Naturally, the bathroom is usually on the other side.

How much are the steak dinners in Kansas City these days? IIRC they're mighty cheap for a monster sized steak.

[Kitten Medli]

Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club?

[DM was on fire!]

Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club?

You're always turtley enough for the turtle club, bbl.

[shapu]

Dana Carvey, however, will NEVER be.

[Shoyru_Lover]

That depends entirely on whether he has enough shell for turtle power.

[Callie]

Sometimes I wonder where the skid marks on the road come from.

[Shoyru_Lover]

Oh that's an easy one. From car tires skidding silly.

Around where I live, there are some circular car skids from people doing a car move called donuts where they spin their cars round and round. Creates a lot of white burning smoke and circular car skid marks.