What should I do?
Tue Sep 07, 2004 12:01 am
Ok, there are these 2 girls in my school who hate me (They used to be my friends but in a stupid attempt to be "Cool" and "Popular" they decided to ditch me. Long story. Don't ask.) So they DO become "Cool and popular" because they aren't my friend anymore. Anyway they tell everyone in school to harrass me and ignore me, and people listen. They are also spreading rediculous rumors (which are SO stupid) and people are believing them. For example, I am a man. O_O.
Anyway, people instant message me on AIM all the time from my school constantly harrassing me when I am doing nothing wrong. A convo usually goes like this. (the stars are curses.)
Them: ur a ugly *** ***** ***
Me: Who are you?
Them: y would i tel u *******?
Me: Well, you did instant message me.
Them: just to say cause u r a ******* ******* spreadn lies about brianna and emily and being mean to them
Me: Actually, I pretty much did nothing wrong. They provoked it, and they spread rumors and was being mean to me.
Them: u ******* lyer
Me: No, actually they have been the ones lieing recently. I can name a bunch of them right off the top of my head.
Them: *******
Me: I have better things to do with my time then talk to people with little intellegence. Bye!!!
Then I block them.
Even kids I don't really know, like in a couple grades younger than mine but still in my school district do this to me.
My mum tells me to print them out and I do, but thats all I probably can do about this constant streak of harshness. Also, kids in my school make threats that they are going to beat me up over AIM.
But this happens so often that I am getting pretty tired of making witty comments back to them. Plus, it takes a toll on my already severly low self esteem. I have only one friend in my school, but she sits with her other friends at lunch who don't want me at their table. I have only had 2 days of school so far and I already ate in the bathroom for one and a teachers room for another. I will probably end up eating in the bathroom most of the time because only one teacher lets students eat in her classroom and I can't eat there everyday, the teacher has meetings and stuff.
Everywhere I go people glare at me. When I am in the mall and kids walk by they just give me the meanest glance even if I never seen them before. In gym, the popular girls who are sitting in the bleachers in front of me unessacerly turn back and glare at me repeativly.
I try not to let it show but it hurts. I never did anything to make people hate me. I haven't had many friends for years since I was in 3rd grade. When I was in 3rd grade I used to cry a lot and kids used that against me to be brutal to me.
Basically, I just wish it would stop. But it doesn't work that way by just going up to someone and asking them too. People don't care anymore about other people's feelings. I just wish the harassment would just go away.
Anyway, people instant message me on AIM all the time from my school constantly harrassing me when I am doing nothing wrong. A convo usually goes like this. (the stars are curses.)
Them: ur a ugly *** ***** ***
Me: Who are you?
Them: y would i tel u *******?
Me: Well, you did instant message me.
Them: just to say cause u r a ******* ******* spreadn lies about brianna and emily and being mean to them
Me: Actually, I pretty much did nothing wrong. They provoked it, and they spread rumors and was being mean to me.
Them: u ******* lyer
Me: No, actually they have been the ones lieing recently. I can name a bunch of them right off the top of my head.
Them: *******
Me: I have better things to do with my time then talk to people with little intellegence. Bye!!!
Then I block them.
Even kids I don't really know, like in a couple grades younger than mine but still in my school district do this to me.
My mum tells me to print them out and I do, but thats all I probably can do about this constant streak of harshness. Also, kids in my school make threats that they are going to beat me up over AIM.
But this happens so often that I am getting pretty tired of making witty comments back to them. Plus, it takes a toll on my already severly low self esteem. I have only one friend in my school, but she sits with her other friends at lunch who don't want me at their table. I have only had 2 days of school so far and I already ate in the bathroom for one and a teachers room for another. I will probably end up eating in the bathroom most of the time because only one teacher lets students eat in her classroom and I can't eat there everyday, the teacher has meetings and stuff.
Everywhere I go people glare at me. When I am in the mall and kids walk by they just give me the meanest glance even if I never seen them before. In gym, the popular girls who are sitting in the bleachers in front of me unessacerly turn back and glare at me repeativly.
I try not to let it show but it hurts. I never did anything to make people hate me. I haven't had many friends for years since I was in 3rd grade. When I was in 3rd grade I used to cry a lot and kids used that against me to be brutal to me.
Basically, I just wish it would stop. But it doesn't work that way by just going up to someone and asking them too. People don't care anymore about other people's feelings. I just wish the harassment would just go away.
Tue Sep 07, 2004 12:14 am
Wow, this cannot be real. I have never heard of a whole bunch of kids tormenting one person. That is just horrible. I would file a police report against these girls, it may be too serious but they should get what's coming to them. Print out the convo's and if you can, take a tape recorder to school. Record those girls making fun of you or saying something to you or about you. Show that and the convo's to the cops. That should get them fined or at least warned. It will scare them off.
Tue Sep 07, 2004 12:23 am
Wow... if these people are using Aol I know they keep a record of instant messages sent from screen names. In 6th grade a boy was being harassed. People were writing stuff in the bathrooms about him and talking about him using AIM (the Aol service version). Somehow the school got records of conversations and emails the popular people sent about the boy. I dont know if they ever caught the person doing the writing in the bathroom, and I'm not sure what happened with the conversations. I'm not 100% sure how they got them but I'm pretty sure you would need a warrant.
Tue Sep 07, 2004 12:36 am
Yeah, though you'll sound like a tattle tale to them (well, you kinda will be) you should tell authorities. Making fun of you is one thing, threatening is another.
Keep in mind too, the 'cool and popular' people usually don't do very well in their lives because they get into all of the stuff that the other 'cool and popular' people get into, like drugs. Guess what happens then? They don't go very far outside of high school and they end up beggin YOU, the employed one with a high position, for a job. Even if it's not that drastic, it basically means that it'll come and kick them in the rear when they're older.
Keep in mind too, the 'cool and popular' people usually don't do very well in their lives because they get into all of the stuff that the other 'cool and popular' people get into, like drugs. Guess what happens then? They don't go very far outside of high school and they end up beggin YOU, the employed one with a high position, for a job. Even if it's not that drastic, it basically means that it'll come and kick them in the rear when they're older.
Tue Sep 07, 2004 12:41 am
I think going to the police would just give everyone something more to taunt you about, (tatle-tale, you know) not scare them off. They'd just be more sneaky about it. I think you should probably talk to the two girls. I'm not sure what you would say, but they are the only ones (besides you) who know that whatever rumors they are spreading aren't true, because they made them up. I'm not suggesting you go up and say "You're really hurting my feelings and I would appreciate it if you stopped" (of course they're hurting your feelings, thats the point) but it may be more productive to try to talk to them than to whatever idiots are IMing you.
Tue Sep 07, 2004 1:07 am
Okay. If you are easily offended, please skip this post.
Popular kids are idiots, liars, brats and snobs. No matter what you do, they'll keep doing it. And they'll do it even more if you let them know it bothers you or if you taunt back. Telling on them isn't going to work. Middle school doesn't have a witness protection program. The only advice that's probably going to help is to deal with it, get on with your life and just ignore it. There's no stopping popular kids. And it doesn't help to sit around and whine about it instead of getting on with your life. No one's opinion matters but your own. Realize that. What people say can't hurt you unless you let it hurt you.
Popular kids are idiots, liars, brats and snobs. No matter what you do, they'll keep doing it. And they'll do it even more if you let them know it bothers you or if you taunt back. Telling on them isn't going to work. Middle school doesn't have a witness protection program. The only advice that's probably going to help is to deal with it, get on with your life and just ignore it. There's no stopping popular kids. And it doesn't help to sit around and whine about it instead of getting on with your life. No one's opinion matters but your own. Realize that. What people say can't hurt you unless you let it hurt you.
Tue Sep 07, 2004 1:30 am
If you run out of smart things to say, just swear back. It usually doesn't make them stop, but venting the anger feels good! Just make sure there's no teachers or whatnot around. o_o
Tue Sep 07, 2004 1:35 am
My word. *biggest internet hug ever*
I know how you feel with the low self confidence. All you can do it ignore their bad actions towards you and try to brighten your image. For example,help kids like you. If people spill their books,try to help. If somebody is being picked on,defend them.
Good luck Zega.
That isn't really a nice idea,Zero.
(Just for the record,Zega,you aren't whining.)
I know how you feel with the low self confidence. All you can do it ignore their bad actions towards you and try to brighten your image. For example,help kids like you. If people spill their books,try to help. If somebody is being picked on,defend them.
Good luck Zega.
That isn't really a nice idea,Zero.
(Just for the record,Zega,you aren't whining.)
Tue Sep 07, 2004 1:42 am
Kitten Medli wrote:That isn't really a nice idea,Zero.
Better to vent it at them then bottle it up and have it blow open another time. :\
Tue Sep 07, 2004 1:54 am
Zero wrote:Kitten Medli wrote:That isn't really a nice idea,Zero.
Better to vent it at them then bottle it up and have it blow open another time. :\
Thats fine and peachy,but its better to do it another way.
Tue Sep 07, 2004 2:19 am
no matter what they say to you, reply with something like "grow up and get a life instead of harassing other people's". also, when you meet/talk to someone new who you have never communicated with before, and they start doing that thing, just tell them theyre the pawns and victims of those girls. or just say "you know, they were making fun of you too today." hit back.
Tue Sep 07, 2004 2:29 am
Welcome to Kugetsu's world. Just block everyone but the people on your AIM list and you should be fine.
I couldn't agree more, it worked for me. I love how these popular kids are all like "Wut's up dawg!" and when they walk away they laugh to themselves while I laugh at them for sounding like an idiot in the first place. While I don't know everyone on here, I know I'm pretty high on the "Hated by 'Preps'" list.
Dawn2 wrote:Okay. If you are easily offended, please skip this post.
Popular kids are idiots, liars, brats and snobs. No matter what you do, they'll keep doing it. And they'll do it even more if you let them know it bothers you or if you taunt back. Telling on them isn't going to work. Middle school doesn't have a witness protection program. The only advice that's probably going to help is to deal with it, get on with your life and just ignore it. There's no stopping popular kids. And it doesn't help to sit around and whine about it instead of getting on with your life. No one's opinion matters but your own. Realize that. What people say can't hurt you unless you let it hurt you.
I couldn't agree more, it worked for me. I love how these popular kids are all like "Wut's up dawg!" and when they walk away they laugh to themselves while I laugh at them for sounding like an idiot in the first place. While I don't know everyone on here, I know I'm pretty high on the "Hated by 'Preps'" list.
Tue Sep 07, 2004 2:34 am
oh, i got more. join extra-curricular activities. for example, the drama club (if youre good at acting). people will resent you at first, but then theyll see your talent and warm up. and if not at school, then other things. find a cause- animal rights, human rights, whatever. there are thousands of groups for those, and one must have a chapter in your area. join a fanclub. a sports team. an art class. force yourself in.
Tue Sep 07, 2004 3:32 am
That sounds horrible! However, the best way to solve this problem is not to let it bother you. Some pointers:
1) Try to find more interesting and satisfying activities which can be done solitarily. This is to occupy your mind so that you won't keep envying the other girls when they go out with each other. Try to make yourself emotionally more self-sufficient and not have to rely on social interaction.
2) Never let their hurting remarks go to your head. In fact, smile and pretend its all a joke. For example, the "you are a man" remark can be countered with fake disbelief, like "OMG how did you know?! You must have peeped when I was in the bathroom!" Be more self-deprecating, and when they find that you take delight in their taunts and teases, they will stop.
3) Treat everyone with love and respect, especially those who keep hurting you. Try to say something nice in reply to hurtful remarks. For example, if people lie and spread rumours about you, DO NOT do the same back, even if they provoked it. In fact, try to focus on their good points instead and never talk anything bad about them.
Be generous to everyone and try to give help when its needed. For example, if you are good in Maths, go help other weaker people Of course, they may reject your help, but don't take it to heart, just smile and keep quiet.
This is extremely hard to do, but soon, people will find that you are in fact a loving and forgiving person, and they will think, "those rumours about her must be false after all!"
4) Swallow your pride. Instead of trying to find a witty and face-saving comeback to every hurtful remark, ask the person humbly, "what have I done wrong? Could you please tell me? Everyone is ostracising me but I don't know what I did wrong!" Of course, if you really did something wrong, be sure to make amends and say sorry to the persons you offended.
Remember: Winning an argument makes you feel good, and boosts your pride, but do you gain the goodwill of the other party? No. In fact, they will hate you more. I learnt that the hard way. Laat time, I was very quarrelsome and loved to challenge the beliefs of others. In the end, I always turned out right, but that made people dislike me more.
1) Try to find more interesting and satisfying activities which can be done solitarily. This is to occupy your mind so that you won't keep envying the other girls when they go out with each other. Try to make yourself emotionally more self-sufficient and not have to rely on social interaction.
2) Never let their hurting remarks go to your head. In fact, smile and pretend its all a joke. For example, the "you are a man" remark can be countered with fake disbelief, like "OMG how did you know?! You must have peeped when I was in the bathroom!" Be more self-deprecating, and when they find that you take delight in their taunts and teases, they will stop.
3) Treat everyone with love and respect, especially those who keep hurting you. Try to say something nice in reply to hurtful remarks. For example, if people lie and spread rumours about you, DO NOT do the same back, even if they provoked it. In fact, try to focus on their good points instead and never talk anything bad about them.
Be generous to everyone and try to give help when its needed. For example, if you are good in Maths, go help other weaker people Of course, they may reject your help, but don't take it to heart, just smile and keep quiet.
This is extremely hard to do, but soon, people will find that you are in fact a loving and forgiving person, and they will think, "those rumours about her must be false after all!"
4) Swallow your pride. Instead of trying to find a witty and face-saving comeback to every hurtful remark, ask the person humbly, "what have I done wrong? Could you please tell me? Everyone is ostracising me but I don't know what I did wrong!" Of course, if you really did something wrong, be sure to make amends and say sorry to the persons you offended.
Remember: Winning an argument makes you feel good, and boosts your pride, but do you gain the goodwill of the other party? No. In fact, they will hate you more. I learnt that the hard way. Laat time, I was very quarrelsome and loved to challenge the beliefs of others. In the end, I always turned out right, but that made people dislike me more.
Tue Sep 07, 2004 3:52 am
In my school, the word "popular" is far too vague a description (there are popular jocks, popular druggies, preps, and even popular intellectuals). You can be very smart (and nerdy) and still be popular. For example, last year's valedictorian from my school had plenty of friends (and one heck of a girlfriend), all of whom were smart themselves.
You just need to expose yourself to the right crowd. And the best way to do that, as someone said, is to join various clubs. If you are smart, the National Honors Society is a good place to start. Join clubs that feature things you like or excel at. Also try clubs that volunteer or do community service. Most people there are very friendly and kind-hearted (hence why they volunteer their time).
And things will definitely improve as you go through high school. In 11th and 12th grade especially, you will (assuming you're smart enough) be able to take more advanced courses, which will allow you to distance yourself from the riffraff even further.
You just need to expose yourself to the right crowd. And the best way to do that, as someone said, is to join various clubs. If you are smart, the National Honors Society is a good place to start. Join clubs that feature things you like or excel at. Also try clubs that volunteer or do community service. Most people there are very friendly and kind-hearted (hence why they volunteer their time).
And things will definitely improve as you go through high school. In 11th and 12th grade especially, you will (assuming you're smart enough) be able to take more advanced courses, which will allow you to distance yourself from the riffraff even further.