It can be hard to trust people online, especially if it is not someone you will ever really meet. You can get to know people online or call them your friends, but you'll never really know them. Some people don't even know people they see every day, people they think are their friends. This is why it is better to get to know your own self.
I don't really have a lot of experience with chatting online. I post, yes, but I've never gotten really close with others online to where I chat with them every day or very often. Most of the time when I chat online it is a public forum or some place where everyone can see what I have written. And if I put anything up, then I don't give a care who sees it or reads it. I figure if they don't like it, they don't have to read it. For the most part I try not to say hurtful things to others or share my deeply held personal beliefs unless someone honestly wants to know. I've made some mistakes with this in the past and not everyone wants to know what I think about religion or politics or other sensitive subjects.
My advice to you is this. If people are conversing with you then they must like conversing with you. I don't think people waste time talking to people online unless they get some satisfation from it.
If you were friends with someone online and they've stopped responding to you, try not to be mad, the internet is a huge place, and surely you can find another person to talk to. And I found that out for myself before, and it wasn't fun to be rejected. But I really didn't know the person, and they didn't want to get to know me, so that was that. I can still be an interesting person to talk to, just because one person didn't want to talk to me doesn't mean I have to pack my computer up and give up talking online.
If you fear someone is going to share your conversations then don't post anything personal that you wouldn't want to have shared.
For example, say you are talking to someone online for a long time. If you are telling them all sorts of personal things about yourself, I would expect they'd be sharing things about themselves as well. I would expect that youd would say something and then the person would respond with their own story. Or have something to add to the conversation. I think conversations shouldn't be so onesided. If you notice you are doing all the talking and sharing, while the other person isn't talking about themselves, then you have to ask yourself why you are talking to this person. What do they get from listening to your own personal stories if they aren't sharing some of their own?
Me, I am pretty comfortable with myself. I have a few things about myself I don't like, some things I can control and other things that I can't control.
I used to be really self concious. I cared what other people thought about me or said about me. I was so paranoid that if I saw two people laughing I would think they were laughing about me. This was such a problem for me that I honestly had no friends my own age. Looking back I realize now that I caused a lot of my own problems. Sometimes I did silly stuff to get a reaction out of people or I said stupid things in class. And I isolated myself from people on purpose. I was so afraid of being rejected that I gave no one a chance to reject me by not being in social situations. No one could reject me if I wasn't there to reject. The truth is, I am still doing this. But now I know this is my problem and it helps to know that.
But later I got a new attitude where I just didn't care. I figured I couldn't control what other people said about me, but I could control how I reacted to it. I know the truth about myself and I have come to terms with myself.
If someone says something about me that is true but hurtful, I can react with anger or I can try to change it if it is possible. If someone says something about me that is true, but there isn't anything I can do about it, then I just have to accept that I can't change it. But I can find positive things about myself to focus on. If someone says something mean about me that isn't true, well I don't have to listen to that at all. I realize that there are times when I am ungrateful, inconsiderate, opinionated, and uncaring. I am not always the type of person I try to present to the world. I like to imagine myself as a really loving and caring individual who would give someone the shirt off my back if they asked. And yet I understand that there are times I have horrible thoughts. I realize there are times when I snap at other people or provoke them. I feel guilt when I have done something wrong and I think for the most part I don't have a problem admitting I was wrong. I've spent a lot of time just thinking about myself and trying to figure out what kind of person I really am. And there are times I don't like myself. There are times I feel guilt for what I have said, done, or even things I have thought. But I think this is good, to think this over. Just the fact that I am concerned about changing my behaviour means I am learning something, and it is a step.
And Ginger, I think you must do this too. I've seen many of your posts and you seem to be concerned about yourself and other people. I say it is more important to know yourself. And you don't have to go to theorpy or listen to a lot of psyco babble. You can just write down your feelings or do what I do, and just think. I do a lot of thinking just driving to college ever day. Its good to realize you aren't perfect and you have faults and regrets. And I think it is good because people who think they are perfect are not. And people who realize they aren't perfect and they have flaws and regrets can take steps to better themselves.
No one is perfect but we can all do things to better ourselves. But we have to come to terms with things we can't control. We may not always be able to control our thoughts be we don't have to act on them or let them control us.
Now I speak up in class and I am one of the most talkative people in class. And I've found that people are nice to me and they respond to me more when I am sociable. Sometimes I say something funny or have a slip of the tongue but then I just laugh along and say "opps!"
That's what makes me a human and a unique person. If we were all the same, all perfect, or all agreed with each other, I think that would be boring. And I think a mature person can accept the unique differences in other people. So don't worry about inmature people. If people don't like you for who are, just say smurf them and go on. I found that out for myself and I am much more confident in myself than I used to be. And I also learned that other people react to my confidence. If I am quiet and withdrawn people don't approach me, but if I am talkative and confident then I have people talking to me.
If you live in the past, with your regrets, or with your worrys of past failures. If you constantly worry about what you could have done or what you should have done, it is harder to move forward. I think people should just learn to forgive themselves and allow the past to remain in the past. Every day is a new chance to change, to meet new people, and learn new things.
So don't worry about selfish or immature people anymore. Don't try to understand other people, but learn to understand, love, and accept yourself. Try to learn something new every day and find something to be happy and grateful for. Set some new goals for yourself that you think you can met. Try something new for the first time. Soon you will be more confidient in yourself and that is all that matters. Some people will react to you differently when you are more confident and some could care less, but what matters most is how you feel about yourself.
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