Ginger, you are probably not going to believe this, but I was a lot like you when I was your age. Shy and always feeling like I never fit in. I hated going to parties because I was just too darned afraid of saying the wrong thing or making a fool out of myself. And, I felt so alone.
And, once I graduated college, I was the same way at my first job. Walking around, too afraid to talk to anyone. And, one day, this sweet dear lady who sat next to me gave me "a' talking to." Her words. About how people thought that I was snobby and felt I was better than the rest of them. And, I just about died. Because I felt like everyone of them just had to be better than me and would laugh at me when they realized that.
But, that talk did it for me. I took it upon myself to stop caring what people thought about me and just started having fun. And opened myself up to people. It was hard. And, I did it all by myself. But, I forced myself to start making the first move. Rather than waiting for someone else to do it. So, I started looking people in the eye and saying hi first. And walking up to my co-workers at lunch and joining them. Rather than hiding away in a corner with my nose in a book.
And sure I was nervous and there were times when I looked like a total idiot. Still are times when I look like a total idiot.
But, I just decided that they were going to see me the way I really was. And if they didn't like me, well there were plenty of other people in the world who might.
And, I realized something even more important: that there were a lot of people out there who were like I used to be--afraid to make the first move. And were waiting for someone like me to come along and say hi and smile at them. Break the ice and make them feel like part of the group. Just like that sweet lady who sat next to me did.
And, I have been that way ever since. I try to smile at everyone I encounter. A geniune smile, too. And, ask my daughter (who gets so embarassed about it), I can walk up to a complete stranger, find something in common and talk their ear off. And, I really don't care what anyone thinks of me. This is me. Take it or leave it.
If you feel confident about yourself and genuine about your feelings, it doesn't really matter how many friends you have or if you are part of "the group." Because not everyone is going to like you. That is a given. And some people are going to rub you the wrong way and you are not going to like them. But, some people might just like you the way you are and connect with you.
But you won't ever know that if you don't make the first move and attempt to connect with them. Or respond to them if they have made the first move. And, maybe you have to fall on your face a few times before you find those people that you feel comfortable with. And, it doesn't happen overnight. You have to keep at it. Keep talking to the person. Keep connecting. Even when it seems hard. Or you are nervous. Or you need to say something to them that isn't so kind.
Even though I have been here 2-1/2 years, I don't have that many close friends on PPT that I talk to via IM or PMs. But, just about everyone here knows me. I have gone out of my way to make people know who I am. And, not running around saying kiss, kiss and fake stuff like that. But, posting ideas, feelings, opinions that I feel strongly about. Giving support or helpful advice when it is needed. A shoulder to cry on. Sometimes, providing a different way to look at a situation. Even constructive criticism.
I became friends with one of my best friends here on PPT after we both suffered major losses on Neopets after glitches hit us. We literally cried together via PMs. And, 2 years later, he is still one of my best online friends. We found something in common and just connected. And if you looked at the two of us, we are as different as night and day. But, found so much in common despite our differences.
And, not everyone agrees with all of the stuff I say. Thank goodness. And, my guess is that some people might not even be able to stand me and a few have even gotten into fights with me (back in the good old days). But, hey, this is me. Take it or leave it. I will not die if someone decides to dislike me. Because I know that there are others who feel different. And more people are out there to meet.
And, Ginger, I really feel for you because I have walked miles in those shoes of yours. I know how hard it is. But, if you want to be part of a group, you have to make yourself part of that group. You have to do it. Not wait for any of us to do it for you.
So, relax, take a deep breath and just do it. Deep down inside you know you can.
Tested made this fabulous set for me!!! Isn't it great?
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But I don't PM either, so that's my problem.
These members have taken their time to reply to your threads and posts and stuff and yet you are still going on about how you are all alone on a forum of over 5,000 people.
