Mine's a bit hard to explain...
In part of my parents divorcing, I would have never moved out here to Fresno, California. In part that I did, I had a rather rough exsistance here. Suffering from EXTREME social anxiety and in my sophmore year I became addicted to pain killers and Rhydalin (taken together). I was depressed, barely passing in school and had no friends. Then along came Joel......
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He just got through a rather ultra dramatic High school relationship. The girl he dated on and off for 3 years had cheated on him with 4 other guys. I had been introduced to him in November or December of 1999 by a guy I knew in my spanish class. When the New Year came, he started to go in and out of my Spanish class quite frequently. I was unbelievably bashful and when he would walk into the classroom, I would keep my gaze to the floor and pretty much blush and sweat like nothing before.
This continued until I finally spoke to him. A girl named Melanie and I were heading over to the school store right before class started and there he was, at the library which was right across from the student store. he was a Teacher's Assistant and would go back and forth from the library and pass out notes and such. Melanie introduced us, again. Though he didn't remember our first time meeting, I did and would never forget. He walked with us back to our Spanish class and I didn't have the guts to walk up close to him, so I would fall behind like a beaten child (only way to explain my shyness lol). He told me it was weird that I was doing that and that I wouldn't talk. What do you expect?!?! The guy you've been crushing on is right beside you?!?!!! Not long after that incident, I broke up with a rather rude guy I had been dating... I really liked this guy, though he was a year younger than me... He had issues and he had rather arrogant friends. It wouldn't have lasted. So as I was hanging out at Melanie's more and more, Joel lived right next door, I would hand out with him. One incident in particular pulls to my mind. I was wearing a white tshrit and short shorts, with my bathing suit underneath. Melanie and I were sitting outside her apartment when he came over and started chatting with us... I had pulled off my tshirt and he kept gawking at me. I started covering myself with my arms and he told me no, that I had an amazing stomach and should show it off. Talk about being flustered....
Anywho... to get on with the story. We dated for 1 month in the Summer of 2000. I had broken up with him. And as a month pasted by I felt like I had done the most unthinkable thing and I should get him back. I wrote him a love poem and hung at Wendy's, where he worked at the time. We chatted outside my house till almost 1am. But I found out like a day or so later that he was dating someone! I stopped talking to him until school started. He had given me a note that stated he had been thinking about me the whole time after we broke up and wanted to get back with me. We talked and then in September I made a decision to ask him back out. The other girl was dumped and we officially got together September 25th,2000 and have been together ever since then. I guess we are high school sweethearts. Once he graduated high school, he joined the military. I was still in high school and he left May 24th, 2001 (4 days after my birthday). I endured him being gone for the 1 and 1/2 months for boot camp and another 7 months for being away for Tech School.
Things have gotten extremely hard recently because he now wants to go to a private college in Arizona and he may never come back here to Fresno because the lack of jobs. I really don't want to leave here because we're not married and I don't know whether or not I would be able to get a job there and I have no car and Prescott is 2 hours from all the major cities... Our relationship is in the final phase of whether we stay together or its our goodbyes...........
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