Im sorry mate, I really am, but we just dont allow this sort of discussion on the boards. Im sure everyone here is sympathetic, but the potential for upsetting people is too high for this to openly discussed here. We just dont have the expertise to even try and help you ourselves.
What I suggest is searching the net for support groups that are aimed at giving advice to people with the same feelings you have. They are out there, and they will be able to help you so much better than us. You might also want to think about speaking to your counselor at school. And dont be scared.
If anybody feels they can help, whether by giving advice or links to sites, or even just giving an ear, they can PM you. But please leave it at that.
Once again, you have my deepest sympathies.
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