Pink Poogle Toy Forum

This will be my deppresive rant, so please bare with me.


First off, my sister recently divorced her husband whom she has a child with. One that I love like nothing else on earth. Now, as she was getting to know TWO people better, I liked one and hated the other. Guess which one she chose? The one I hated. Her and I used to be so close. We were there for each other. Wherever she went I went. Wherever I went she went. We were that close.

Well, the whole reason I am feeling depressed is that the first guy (the nice one), named Billy. I like him alot. I still do. He didn't care that she had a child. He has a job, a car, a house. He was going to take my sister out one day and he came to pick her up and saw that I was lonely and had to take care of the baby. He asked if me and the baby wanted to go. I agreed. One of the best times I have ever had. We took the baby to circus circus, we went to dinner and we went to the mall. By the time we got to the mall, the babies shorts got all wet somehow and he ran to Macy's and bought her some new ones. After everything was over, he asked me and the baby to go over to his house on Saturday, since he knows I have to babysit alone that day. It was great. We hit it off and we became friends. When he was dropping me off home, the baby cried and wouldn't stay in her car-seat. Thats the day I knew that he really really cared for the baby and he just wasn't sticking around for my sister. He held her until she stopped crying and bought her some chocolate. I told him that she would kind of mess up his new car, but he told me that its better for her to eat it then cry, since he can always clean his car.

My sister on the other hand, ignores him all the time and turns off her cell phone when he calls. Well, I got upset and asked her why she kept ignoring him. She told me "she didn't know" and said that whoever she picked from the two, that "she had to choose for the baby too, not just herself." I found out like two weeks later that she WAS dating the other guy already and she didn't tell me or Billy. I thought that was wrong and I told her that if she wanted to go out with the other guy, why she didn't tell Billy and why did she make him wait? She changed after that.

Billy bought her a Heart Locket with a card that said "Thank You for giving me my smile back" since his last g/f cheated on him. She threw it away.

And now she changed with the other guy. We don't talk anymore and she lets ME babysit her child constantly. I don't mind it, but dang, not everyday. The one time her b/f came over and he said "You're taking the baby? Why can't your brother watch her?" That was it. I went off at him like never before. It takes a lot to make me mad but he is such a complete Donkey.

I heard them talking one day and my sister asked him "What if my family doesn't approve?" He replied with "screw" your family. Thats the day I hated him more than anything. He doesn't even help take care of the baby or anything.

Me and Billy are still friends and I was the one that had to tell him that she wasn't interested and he told me that he still wanted to be friends and that he still wants to help me take care of the baby on weekends. He also told me that he has no regrets and he doesn't regret meeting me, my sister or the baby.

I know I can't force love or anything like that, but she will never see the truth. She basically dumped her family for a man.

Love is as love does.
yeah, i dont really get what that one means either to be honest, but people are Atracted to the strangest people somtimes.
me for example, not a single person i know understands why, and ive simply given up trying to explain it.
im not sure what insight is meant to be gleamed from that either actually

i would say it gets better, but ive yet to see any evidence to that effect.
ummm. stick in there, thats probably somthing that'll help.

The only thing I can think of it tell your sister what you think.. and try not to hate this guy. I mean, he sounds like the wrong kind of guy to get into, but just try to see the good in him. I feel bad for Billy, he sounds really sweet. :(

I'll pray for you all. *hugs* God bless.

I agree with Medli, try not to hate this guy. It's really your sister's decision, and love is love, it's not something you can control. I understand your frustration, but your sister can't just love someone that she doesn't. Although I do agree that Billy sounds a lot better than the other guy.

Good luck in everything! *hugs*

I remember reading something on xanga the other day. It said that you can't pick and choose who is right for who. If they're together, and it works for them, it's not your problem. I bet a lot of you have a significant other that's the opposite of who you are, or just someone that others wouldn't put you with. But that's just it. It's not about others. For example, my family knows an academic star and a hardcore biker. Very deeply in love. Would it seem that they should be together? No. But once again, it's not about what you think. If two people are in love, they're going to be in love, whether it's "meant to be" or not. I won't say that I agree with some of the things your sister did, as well as probably most of the people who've read this thread. But it's not my job to have an opinion on it. It's no one's but hers and her boyfriend's.

You love her right? Then you should be happy if she is happy. =)

Yes, I love her, but doing things like leaving her child at the door crying because she wants to make it to the movies in time is NOT acceptable in my book. Her child should be her number ONE priority.




*Hugs her*

I love that baby soooo much. She already lost her dad and I feel like she's losing a mom now too.

Sounds like a bit of a sucky time for everyone all round :/ If I was to put my psychology hat on and pretend I knew anything about that I'd say perhaps she has subconsciously picked the guy she knows deep down it won't work with rather than opening herself up to a guy where it could work really well with but would hurt all the more if it went wrong. Sometimes people do that after the break up of a long relationship, even the people we would least expect not to see what they are doing.

And even if that is totally off the mark perhaps you could make yourself less available for babysitting duties. Tough for you to do I know as I can only imagine how you must be feeling for your niece, but if your sister could see how her new boyfriend acts around her child I'm sure it would open her eyes or maybe make him behave better. A mum will always put her kid first but perhaps she needs to see them interact with each other properly to see the full picture?

All that could be a load of rubbish but I hope everything works out okay for you, your sister and your extremely cute little niece

Hi there

I am glad to see you, but sorry for what you and your niece are going through. She is absolutely precious!

I don't know how old your sister is - not that age means anything when it comes to picking the wrong person. But it sounds to me like she has some issues. Billy sounds like a great guy, he cares about her, he cares about your niece and he cares about you. Maybe there's a part of her that doesn't think she *deserves* a good guy, that he's too good for her. It depends alot on her own self-esteem and anything she's been though, like if she has a track record of picking men who treat her badly - and her current b/f IS treating her badly. Just by saying the awful things he is.

Especially when someone has a child. If you're going to date someone with a child you need to be prepared to accept that the child is the first priority and that child is part of the "package". Geez, I broke up with someone because they firmly suggested? that I get rid of my cat because he didn't like cats!

Your sister's response when her b/f asked her about "you're taking the baby?" should have been - love me, love my child. Period. Anything less is unacceptable.

And it shouldn't fall on your shoulders to be the primary caregiver to her. I know, you 2 are super close, you love her more than life and worry - and you have good reason to worry right now. I think I have to agree with Trick's advice to not make yourself available all the time. You need to try to sit down and talk to your sister. If she won't talk to you, will she talk to your parents? Have you talked to your parents about this?

Not all moms put their children first (or second, third, etc.) - I'm living proof of how low on the totem pole a child can be to a parent. And it causes long term effects, believe me. I'm 50 (yes, 50) years old and still dealing with "stuff".

Someone needs to find a way to get through to your sister that it's not just her life she's messing up, she's messing with the life of her innocent, loving child. And that should not be allowed to happen.

Can you tell I'm just a little passionate about children and their well-being?

Please let us know how you're doing and what's happening with the situation. If you need an ear, we're here. A shoulder to cry on? You got it. Anything, anytime. You ever want to talk privately, please do pm me. I'm around.

I think you're sisters not with the right person. But that's not to say she was wrong for dumping Billy.

If you don't want to be with someone, you don't want to be with them. And there's no point in her being with him if she's going to spend that time being perfectly foul to him, that's not fair on him, for a start.

However, it could be like Trick said.

I don't believe people should ever stay together 'just for the kids'. I don't think people should be in relationships they don't want to be in because it's good for the children.
But I don't believe people should be in relationships that are damaging to both themselves and their children, where they don't get any respect from their partner, and their OH doesn't want anything to do with the children.

Mother and child are a package. You can't just take on one and not the other. To be honest I think the guy she's with sounds like an arse even if there was no child involved. Sadly, I don't think you're sister's going to be told. You can but try, though.

Next time she asks you to babysit at short notice, just because she's going out with this guy, say no.