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Please accept with no obligation, expressed or implied, my best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially-responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, celebration of the winter-solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally-successful, personally-fulfilling, and medically-uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make England great (not to imply that England is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "ENGLAND" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishes or wishees.
By reading this greeting, you are accepting the following terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable provided that there is no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. Warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher...
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, however, a significant number of electrons were somewhat inconvenienced.
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