College Quotes 2... Subject: Professors
Mon Jul 12, 2004 12:04 pm
College students aren't the only ones who say silly things.
(Note: I did have to edit a one quote due to language, but it really should not have any effect on its hilarity. And it may be awhile before I can get some more posted; but I do have more!
)
Here we go!
*****************************
"I would've had a heartastroke!"
-Professor Page
"There is no music in the band room!"
-Dr. Thomas, while telling a student to put away his headphones
"We have our test next class. If you are going to cheat...sit next to somebody smart."
-Professor Cooper
Don't shoot grannies! It's bad! Sometimes."
-Professor Ealick, during a discussion on morals
"If you don't have the Internet... then just e-mail me or something and we'll figure it out."
-Professor Jackson
"Dying is not good for your survival."
-Professor Schmidt, during biology
Professor Dunn: Kelli, when was the war of 1812?
Kelli: I'm sorry. I wasn't paying any attention.
Professor Dunn: WHEN WAS THE WAR OF 1812?
Kelli: I have already told you that I was not paying any attention!
Professor Dunn: KELLI! When was the War of 1812?
Kelli: I DO NOT KNOW WHEN THE WAR OF 1812 WAS!!!........oh!
"Oh, hold on kids, I think we just lost another one! MAN I'm getting boring!"
-Dr. Shulman, spotting a student falling asleep in class
"The buffalos were reproducing like, like buffalos."
-Professor Curtis, during an American History lecture
"If you're not going to pay attention to me, at least curb your flatulence."
-Professor Pierce, during math class
Dr. Richardson: What did Dorthea Dix have to do with the Civil War?
Some idiot in the class: Wasn't she a fighter pilot?
"Make sure that you're test is legible for my wife to read."
-Professor Heckman, on a written final
(Note: I did have to edit a one quote due to language, but it really should not have any effect on its hilarity. And it may be awhile before I can get some more posted; but I do have more!
)
Here we go!
*****************************
"I would've had a heartastroke!"
-Professor Page
"There is no music in the band room!"
-Dr. Thomas, while telling a student to put away his headphones
"We have our test next class. If you are going to cheat...sit next to somebody smart."
-Professor Cooper
Don't shoot grannies! It's bad! Sometimes."
-Professor Ealick, during a discussion on morals
"If you don't have the Internet... then just e-mail me or something and we'll figure it out."
-Professor Jackson
"Dying is not good for your survival."
-Professor Schmidt, during biology
Professor Dunn: Kelli, when was the war of 1812?
Kelli: I'm sorry. I wasn't paying any attention.
Professor Dunn: WHEN WAS THE WAR OF 1812?
Kelli: I have already told you that I was not paying any attention!
Professor Dunn: KELLI! When was the War of 1812?
Kelli: I DO NOT KNOW WHEN THE WAR OF 1812 WAS!!!........oh!
"Oh, hold on kids, I think we just lost another one! MAN I'm getting boring!"
-Dr. Shulman, spotting a student falling asleep in class
"The buffalos were reproducing like, like buffalos."
-Professor Curtis, during an American History lecture
"If you're not going to pay attention to me, at least curb your flatulence."
-Professor Pierce, during math class
Dr. Richardson: What did Dorthea Dix have to do with the Civil War?
Some idiot in the class: Wasn't she a fighter pilot?
"Make sure that you're test is legible for my wife to read."
-Professor Heckman, on a written final
Mon Jul 12, 2004 1:53 pm
I love professors'/teachers' jokes 
:D
Onorr wrote:Professor Dunn: Kelli, when was the war of 1812?
Kelli: I'm sorry. I wasn't paying any attention.
Professor Dunn: WHEN WAS THE WAR OF 1812?
Kelli: I have already told you that I was not paying any attention!
Professor Dunn: KELLI! When was the War of 1812?
Kelli: I DO NOT KNOW WHEN THE WAR OF 1812 WAS!!!........oh!
This is one of my favs
Mon Jul 12, 2004 10:07 pm
Hehe, they made me chuckle. I love these! 
Re: College Quotes 2... Subject: Professors
Tue Jul 13, 2004 1:33 am
Onorr wrote:Professor Dunn: Kelli, when was the war of 1812?
Kelli: I'm sorry. I wasn't paying any attention.
Professor Dunn: WHEN WAS THE WAR OF 1812?
Kelli: I have already told you that I was not paying any attention!
Professor Dunn: KELLI! When was the War of 1812?
Kelli: I DO NOT KNOW WHEN THE WAR OF 1812 WAS!!!........oh!
I still dunno when that war was. O_o
It's a joke, people!
Re: College Quotes 2... Subject: Professors
Tue Jul 13, 2004 5:38 am
Onorr wrote:
"There is no music in the band room!"
-Dr. Thomas, while telling a student to put away his headphones
"If you don't have the Internet... then just e-mail me or something and we'll figure it out."
-Professor Jackson
"Dying is not good for your survival."
-Professor Schmidt, during biology
"Oh, hold on kids, I think we just lost another one! MAN I'm getting boring!"
-Dr. Shulman, spotting a student falling asleep in class
"The buffalos were reproducing like, like buffalos."
-Professor Curtis, during an American History lecture
"Make sure that you're test is legible for my wife to read."
-Professor Heckman, on a written final
Hehehe those are good
. I enjoyed some of the college student ones . My friends never say anything funny, they stink 
Thu Jul 15, 2004 11:32 am
the sad thing is, i also have heard some classics like that in class, pity i didn't have a tape recorder.. 
but the war of 1812 one is the best
Thu Jul 15, 2004 4:22 pm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onorr wrote:
Professor Dunn: Kelli, when was the war of 1812?
Kelli: I'm sorry. I wasn't paying any attention.
Professor Dunn: WHEN WAS THE WAR OF 1812?
Kelli: I have already told you that I was not paying any attention!
Professor Dunn: KELLI! When was the War of 1812?
Kelli: I DO NOT KNOW WHEN THE WAR OF 1812 WAS!!!........oh!
I still dunno when that war was. O_o
its called the war of 1812
lol its in 1812 don't worry i was like that too at first
Thu Jul 15, 2004 5:08 pm
haha, I liked the war of 1812 one the best. It took me a while to figure it out! Those are good, I've been in class during some of those moments! haha.
Those are good, I've been in class during some of those moments! haha.
Thu Jul 15, 2004 5:10 pm
Those are great. I wish I'd kept track of some of the things my professors said last year. Especially my Intro. to Law professor. She was a moron. I don't know how she got that job in the first place. Yet alone how she became a lawyer. >.< The idea of her representing another person is quite scary.
Sat Jul 24, 2004 12:02 am
"Dying is not good for your survival."
-Professor Schmidt, during biology
That's my favorite.
I never would have guessed..
Sat Jul 24, 2004 1:13 am
I would never say....When is the war of 1812 people??
its a joke,
Sun Jul 25, 2004 1:53 am
Professor Dunn: Kelli, when was the war of 1812?
Kelli: I'm sorry. I wasn't paying any attention.
Professor Dunn: WHEN WAS THE WAR OF 1812?
Kelli: I have already told you that I was not paying any attention!
Professor Dunn: KELLI! When was the War of 1812?
Kelli: I DO NOT KNOW WHEN THE WAR OF 1812 WAS!!!........oh!
lol. This one is my fave, but I don't even know when that war of 1812 was either. ^.^;; *sweatdrop* Heh heh...
Kelli: I'm sorry. I wasn't paying any attention.
Professor Dunn: WHEN WAS THE WAR OF 1812?
Kelli: I have already told you that I was not paying any attention!
Professor Dunn: KELLI! When was the War of 1812?
Kelli: I DO NOT KNOW WHEN THE WAR OF 1812 WAS!!!........oh!
lol. This one is my fave, but I don't even know when that war of 1812 was either. ^.^;; *sweatdrop* Heh heh...