Plan A and Plan B (English lesson)
*prays no one I know of in my class will read this*
OK, you will need some background knowledge for this.
Our English teacher is called Mr Stamp and well, he can be counted as a mean, strict but a good teacher. Depends what your meaning of "good" is. Anyway, we were watching a video, a hollywood-ised version of Great Expectations that has a really crap ending, but that doesn't matter. It was pretty boring and everyone was bored (wow -_-). There were 3 people sitting next to Mr Stamp; Wilson, Ian and Mark. Wilson and Ian are the people who work, unlike Mark who was (and still is) labelled a "freak" and a "monkey" by our English teacher. They were all so bored and so Mark took some scrap paper and started a plan. Er...two plans. Mr Stamp discovered and read the plans and here was what he said, "Mark, I"ll give you 10 minutes before the lesson to explain plan A and plan B." Thus, Mark had to explain.
Plan A
Mark: equipped with duct tape
Ian: equipped with sledge hammer and a bag
Wilson: equipped with nothing; asleep watching the video.
Ian bashes Mr Stamp with the sledge hammer and Mark duct tapes Mr Stamp. And while Mark is duct taping, Ian rescues Wilson out of the room. The bashed up and duct taped Mr Stamp is then put into a bag and shipped to Detroit.
Plan B
Mark: equipped with duct tape
Ian: equipped with sledge hammer and a bag
Wilson: equipped with nothing; is awake.
This time, the "take Wilson out" (i.e. kill him) because they decided Wilson is on Mr Stamp's side. After that, they duct tape Mr Stamp, bashes him with sledge hammer and put him in a bag. And of course, ship him to Detroit.
I have no idea how he came up with this, it would be funnier if well, you were THERE listening to Mark explaining it.
:D Oh well, better than nothing ;]
Lame IT joke
Ok, background knowledge, it's not good to
type with underlining, it may be considered a "sin". It is to our IT teachers...therefore, Mr Brown (the really bad IT teacher who doesn't know what he's doing) made up a "joke":
If you all are not bold, I'll put you in italics!
The things is, that's not the funny part. the funny part is when no one laughed and everyone just stared at him like he was crazy...only the other IT teacher laughed. *coughs*