Pink Poogle Toy Forum

Beer Troubleshooting

Symptom: Feet cold and wet.
Fault: Glass held at incorrect angle.
Action: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

Symptom: Feet warm and wet.
Fault: Improper bladder control.
Action: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

Symptom: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
Fault: Glass empty.
Action: Get someone to buy you another beer.

Symptom: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
Fault: You have fallen over backward.
Action: Have yourself chained to the bar.

Symptom: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
Fault: You have fallen forward.
Action: See above.

Symptom: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
Fault: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
Action: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

Symptom: Floor blurred.
Fault: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
Action: Get someone to buy you another beer.

Symptom: Floor moving.
Fault: You are being carried out.
Action: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

Symptom: Room seems unusually dark.
Fault: Bar has closed.
Action: Confirm home address with bartender, take taxi home.

Symptom: Truck suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
Fault: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
Action: Cover mouth.

Symptom: Everyone looks up to you and laughs.
Fault: You are dancing on the table.
Action: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

Symptom: Beer is crystal clear.
Fault: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
Action: Punch him.

Symptom: Hands hurt, nose hurts, and mind unusually clear.
Fault: You have been in a fight.
Action: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

Symptom: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
Fault: You've wandered into the wrong party.
Action: See if they have free beer.

Symptom: Your singing sounds distorted.
Fault: The beer is too weak.
Action: Have more beer until your voice improves.

Symptom: Don't remember the words to the song.
Fault: Beer is just right.
Action: Play air guitar.

lol! I was laughing the whole way down the page!

I've heard this one before. Still loved it!

LOL... That was great! I oppose alcoholism incredibly strongly... but it was still great.

Ohh that's brilliant! It kept me chuckling! I love these things!

lol, that was brilliant!!

That's a good one. Laughed the whole time!

I like that one the best

My favorites, but they were all hilarious.

haha i like this one too ^^* Let's go violent! *achem*

This should be required reading for all college freshmen.

haha, those were hilarious! I don't think I have a favorite, I laughed at everyone!

Oh god! Those were EXCELLENT! I'm gonna memorize them! Heeheee

Haha, those are very funny, I'll definately have to try and remember them! I have to admit my favourite one was the water to sober up though

Haha, those were truelly funny. Thanks for making me laugh. This post seems sort of empty...umm...yeah. Thanks!