Pink Poogle Toy Forum

The current NT editor is Darcy, aka Droplet (not her Neo name). She is the third full-time editor of the NT.

Aye, and she's fab. =)

Thats the message I got today. I'll add my story in a new post, so it doesn't stretch this one out. And if someone can help me with it, I'd greatly apperciate it.

deleted.

Aww, you just seem comma happy.



For example, that could be "In fact, he was born a blue bori with deep purple eyes."



That's awkward with all those commas, especially that last sentence. Split it up into more than one sentence if you can Maybe something like: "At least, to him it's yelling. All you hear is a bunch of jumbled, incoherent words."

Those are a few of the examples I picked out. I won't go over every one of them. So...I think TNT may have been referring to comma splicing errors...run-on sentences that basically use wayyy too many commas. A good exercise for this would be to read your story out loud, and really *pause* every time you hit a comma. Does it sound weird? If yes, take it out. Another way you could do this is just take every comma out of your story right now, the carefully re-read and add no more than 5 per paragraph or something.

If you need more help feel free to PM me. I only gave it a quick once-over because I'm supposed to be writing a paper of my own.

Thanks. I'll reread it, and take some of the comma's out. I hadn't realised I used that many....

Hehe, it becomes many people's bad habit...you'd be surprised. I blame my high school teachers telling us to write more complex sentences. XD

It is a good story, by the way! Just edit and resubmit, and hopefully they'll accept it.

Thanks. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I guess I got so coma happy, cause I recently got done taking my reading pretest {for my GED which I passed ^_^ with a score of 600 something} so the rules the lesson was talking about, kinda stuck in my head.

You have a problem with tenses, where you switch back and forth between past and present. For instance, you change tenses here: Moon’s smile grew, and to your surprise the small faellie was looking right up at you. A bit hesitant you use your free hand to scratch the small pet under its chin, and Smokey purrs louder. Also(and this was mentioned in the rejection) whenever you change speakers in a conversation, you're supposed to start a new paragraph.

Your eyebrows raised, “Ambrose?” you questioned.
“Oh yes,” Moon said, “Ambrose is Crow’s Tanizard. And Dark, she takes care of the avatar pets. Though she seems quite attached to Harry.” He chuckled, “he’s a pirate Harris.”
Your smile grew, hearing the happiness and joy in Moon’s voice. “Sounds like there’s never a dull moment, in your house” you commented.
“Oh there never is” Moon replied, grinning.

Try sending it in right after this issue comes out so that it's among the first to be read. That way, there's less of a chance they've already picked all the entries they can fit.

I'm on vacation right now but will be back tomorrow (*sad*) and will sit down to format.
=) My favorite job in the world, I love doing that sort of stuff.

Thanks. I'll tweak it a bit this week, and enter it as soon as the newest issue of the times comes out.

I also resubmitted my comic. I hope I can get in.

I've had about three of my short stories rejected and was always told that they still had my entry for next week, and of course nothing happens. I stopped caring about the NT.

I must caution you against posting stories in forums that everybody can see, like on PPT. Dishonest people have been known to steal the stories and submit them for themselves.

It's terrible, but it does happen

Oh thanks hun. I deleted it.

If anyone wants to see it, I will send it to you in a PM. Just message me and let me know.