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 Post subject: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 1:03 pm 
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So on Friday, I opened up the movies section of my paper and was browsing down the list of movie openings and their ratings. When I got to "Bratz" I was thoroughly shocked to see that it had managed to be given no stars. I think that's the first time I've ever seen a review that bad!

Anyways, the point of this thread is to post any funny/scathing/bizarre movie reviews you've seen or read. Last year, my paper's review of "Barnyard" included the wonderful line "I think I'd rather stick rusty railroad spikes through my eyes then watch another CGI movie about talking animals." So, if you think you can do better, post away!


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 5:12 pm 
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Byakuya San wrote:
When I got to "Bratz" I was thoroughly shocked to see that it had managed to be given no stars. I think that's the first time I've ever seen a review that bad!

That gives me hope for humanity.


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 1:31 am 
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Moongewl wrote:
Byakuya San wrote:
When I got to "Bratz" I was thoroughly shocked to see that it had managed to be given no stars. I think that's the first time I've ever seen a review that bad!

That gives me hope for humanity.


Go to the toy store and check out the toys.

You'll be murderous rampage, I garuntee it.
(Bratz Babies. Nuff said)

And I think the Yu Gi Oh movie got 0 stars (average) as well.


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 7:04 pm 
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Setekh wrote:
Moongewl wrote:
Byakuya San wrote:
When I got to "Bratz" I was thoroughly shocked to see that it had managed to be given no stars. I think that's the first time I've ever seen a review that bad!

That gives me hope for humanity.


Go to the toy store and check out the toys.

You'll be murderous rampage, I garuntee it.
(Bratz Babies. Nuff said)

And I think the Yu Gi Oh movie got 0 stars (average) as well.

The guy who reviewed Bratz in my paper said his daughter found it creepy how you take off the dolls' feet instead of just their shoes. Sounds bad enough already.


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 7:19 pm 
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I've heard that Bratz dolls wear thongs. That's far worse than taking off feet, in my book, but I've never been close enough to one to find out for sure if it's true.


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 6:22 pm 
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It is. A friend's little sister has them.

Anyway, I usually turn to Mr. Cranky for hilarious movie reviews, but he's got a very foul mouth so I won't be linking to him. :P


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 4:25 am 
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Fiddelysquat wrote:
It is. A friend's little sister has them.

Anyway, I usually turn to Mr. Cranky for hilarious movie reviews, but he's got a very foul mouth so I won't be linking to him. :P

mr cranky is awesome. Undeniable. :D


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 6:05 am 
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Moongewl wrote:
I've heard that Bratz dolls wear thongs. That's far worse than taking off feet, in my book, but I've never been close enough to one to find out for sure if it's true.


OMG! Girl dolls are wearing clothes that girls wear!

My newspaper sufficiently owned this movie: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent ... 90486.html

EDIT: This got 9% on Rotten Tomatoes. This could be the new Manos: The Hands of Fate.


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:02 am 
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saw oceans 13 the other night.
I thought is was a good way to end the trilogy, in style with no fancy action gimmicks to distract you or anything. Just a classic way to steal cash from some billionaire who doesnt need it. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 10:43 am 
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Fiddelysquat wrote:
It is. A friend's little sister has them.

Anyway, I usually turn to Mr. Cranky for hilarious movie reviews, but he's got a very foul mouth so I won't be linking to him. :P


Yeah, I have one, we put the feet on backwards.

I have one because my friend/Gay Husband Andy gave me it for my 18th birthday because he is A GIT.


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 2:18 pm 
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theonlysaneone wrote:
My newspaper sufficiently owned this movie: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent ... 90486.html

It also sufficiently owned my newspaper. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:23 pm 
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Byakuya San wrote:
theonlysaneone wrote:
My newspaper sufficiently owned this movie: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent ... 90486.html

It also sufficiently owned my newspaper. :lol:


?

I usually hate that newspaper, what with its defending child molesters and the Hurricane Rita insanity. We've even stopped subscribing to it. I saw that review on Rotten Tomatoes and lol'd.


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:26 am 
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theonlysaneone wrote:
Moongewl wrote:
I've heard that Bratz dolls wear thongs. That's far worse than taking off feet, in my book, but I've never been close enough to one to find out for sure if it's true.
OMG! Girl dolls are wearing clothes that girls wear!

That's just the thing. GIRLS do not wear them. I find the idea of 13-year-olds wearing thongs a bit disturbing. (Actually, I find the whole idea of thongs icky, but that's really not the point.)


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:10 pm 
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theonlysaneone wrote:
Byakuya San wrote:
theonlysaneone wrote:
My newspaper sufficiently owned this movie: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent ... 90486.html

It also sufficiently owned my newspaper. :lol:


?

I just meant that your newspaper's review was better than mine. That is all.


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 Post subject: Re: Movie Reviews
PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 6:17 pm 
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Moongewl wrote:
theonlysaneone wrote:
Moongewl wrote:
I've heard that Bratz dolls wear thongs. That's far worse than taking off feet, in my book, but I've never been close enough to one to find out for sure if it's true.
OMG! Girl dolls are wearing clothes that girls wear!

That's just the thing. GIRLS do not wear them. I find the idea of 13-year-olds wearing thongs a bit disturbing. (Actually, I find the whole idea of thongs icky, but that's really not the point.)


Aren't Bratz supposed to be high-school age? I know that high-school age girls wear them, or at least a lot do.


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