What You'd Like To Be Put in Books
Thu Jun 24, 2004 6:27 pm
Have you ever wanted to edit a specific book, or just a type of book? Now you can! Just specify the book or type of book and add in what you wish wherever you want on this forum! I've always wanted to edit those little books for kids, introducing them to animals... specifically cats, dogs, gerbils, hampsters and horses, the first four of which I have experience with. They say things like "don't pull Kitty's tail", but I just want to write in the consequences, like "Or Kitty will take her claws to the hand pulling her tail and you will have a bleeding stump of a clawed wrist where your hand once was". 
Dogs: "You can take your dog on nice, long walks as you both enjoy a slow stroll through the park." My addition: "Unless your dog is a Siberian Husky or other sled-pulling dog, in which case you'll take him on long, painful walks which involve dragging across the asphalt until you bleed enough to attract a mountain lion..."
Gerbils: "When you get your gerbil trained up, he'll be sociable, friendly and nice." My addition: "Before he's trained, he'll be an absolute nightmare and bite all your fingers off."
Hampsters: "When you first take him home, make sure he has a clean cage." My addition: "Because you want him to be happy, as he'll die in three weeks very suddenly."
Horses: "Approach a horse slowly, as horses are easily spooked." My addition: "Especially by Nazgul."
Heehee. I'd also like to add footnotes into LOTR... when they mention Elfhelm seeming to understand, I'd put "Understand about MERRY! The Hobbit! This has NOTHING to do with Dernhelm!"
And when Eowyn finishes the Witch-King, I'd dearly love for a footnote saying "It was Eowyn, not Merry, The Witch-King, Tom Bombadil, or Westernesse who killed the Witch-king, much less Frodo or Legolas!"
(I once made a comic entitled "I'm no man, now gimme money" which involved Legolas being shot... long story.)
Dogs: "You can take your dog on nice, long walks as you both enjoy a slow stroll through the park." My addition: "Unless your dog is a Siberian Husky or other sled-pulling dog, in which case you'll take him on long, painful walks which involve dragging across the asphalt until you bleed enough to attract a mountain lion..."
Gerbils: "When you get your gerbil trained up, he'll be sociable, friendly and nice." My addition: "Before he's trained, he'll be an absolute nightmare and bite all your fingers off."
Hampsters: "When you first take him home, make sure he has a clean cage." My addition: "Because you want him to be happy, as he'll die in three weeks very suddenly."
Horses: "Approach a horse slowly, as horses are easily spooked." My addition: "Especially by Nazgul."
Heehee. I'd also like to add footnotes into LOTR... when they mention Elfhelm seeming to understand, I'd put "Understand about MERRY! The Hobbit! This has NOTHING to do with Dernhelm!"
And when Eowyn finishes the Witch-King, I'd dearly love for a footnote saying "It was Eowyn, not Merry, The Witch-King, Tom Bombadil, or Westernesse who killed the Witch-king, much less Frodo or Legolas!"
(I once made a comic entitled "I'm no man, now gimme money" which involved Legolas being shot... long story.)
Thu Jun 24, 2004 7:13 pm
Hehe good ideas...I'd change the 5th Harry Potter book(you all saw it coming 
I'd make Sirius not die *cries* Make an unimportant character die. Who CARES about sacrafice?!
I'd make Sirius not die *cries* Make an unimportant character die. Who CARES about sacrafice?!
Thu Jun 24, 2004 7:48 pm
I'd change all those books describing love and/or marraige from:
"When a man and a woman..." to "When two people..."
Ooh.. I am bitter.
"When a man and a woman..." to "When two people..."
Ooh.. I am bitter.
Thu Jun 24, 2004 7:49 pm
'You'll have My Sword! and My Bow! And MY AXE!!! (though we aren't coming ourselves...)
Instead of making revisions myself I'd rather lock up the authors in a small room and force them to change all those terrible endings plaguing my books...[/i]
Instead of making revisions myself I'd rather lock up the authors in a small room and force them to change all those terrible endings plaguing my books...[/i]
Thu Jun 24, 2004 8:42 pm
I'd make it so every single canon!Mary Sue becomes one of the most flawed and hated characters in existence.
Yes, I do loathe MSs.
Kill me for saying this, but I wouldn't change that. I didn't like Sirius.
Yes, I do loathe MSs.
Kristina wrote:Hehe good ideas...I'd change the 5th Harry Potter book(you all saw it coming
Kill me for saying this, but I wouldn't change that. I didn't like Sirius.
Thu Jun 24, 2004 8:53 pm
I'd ferret in to the 5th Harry Potter and give everybody the long-awaited realization of romance between Hermione and Ron. If she builds up to it anymore, the book will explode. What, are they finally going to stop being snivelling pansies about it in their SEVENTH YEAR? We've only been waiting 5 years!!! *kicks the foreshadowing*
Thu Jun 24, 2004 9:21 pm
Christopher wrote:'You'll have My Sword! and My Bow! And MY AXE!!! (though we aren't coming ourselves...)
When ever that part was up in the movie right after when he says 'And my Axe' I shout out 'handle' because he just broke the axe part.
I would change in the book 'Secret Window' insted of him killing everyone to going to a nut house.
...Alex wrote:Kill me for saying this, but I wouldn't change that. I didn't like Sirius.
:Gives evil looks:
Thu Jun 24, 2004 10:38 pm
...Alex wrote:Kill me for saying this, but I wouldn't change that. I didn't like Sirius.
Ok, I will... *gets out the gun* BWAHAHAHA!
Fidds wrote:I'd ferret in to the 5th Harry Potter and give everybody the long-awaited realization of romance between Hermione and Ron. If she builds up to it anymore, the book will explode. What, are they finally going to stop being snivelling pansies about it in their SEVENTH YEAR? We've only been waiting 5 years!!! *kicks the foreshadowing*
You go girl!
Or Hermione and Draco. Yes, I have read too much fanfiction to realize that it would never happen. *sulks in a corner*
I remembered another book. They shouldn't have added all of the chess stuff at the end of Alice in Wonderland...my brain hurted. @_@
Fri Jun 25, 2004 4:42 am
Noelle wrote:Christopher wrote:'You'll have My Sword! and My Bow! And MY AXE!!! (though we aren't coming ourselves...)
When ever that part was up in the movie right after when he says 'And my Axe' I shout out 'handle' because he just broke the axe part.
Good call! ^__________________^
I never woulda thought of that.
Fri Jun 25, 2004 4:46 am
Kristina wrote:Hehe good ideas...I'd change the 5th Harry Potter book(you all saw it coming
Thats what I would do too, Sirius was my favorite character! It's not fair that he died!
Fri Jun 25, 2004 10:08 am
I'd also change the way HP 5 ended... Sirius just can't die...
Although once he did I was hoping he'd come back as a ghost...
Although once he did I was hoping he'd come back as a ghost...
Sat Jun 26, 2004 2:50 am
Heh, look, I know JKR has some great purpose with that death - that massive alignment of events only happens in one other place, and that's when Wormtail escapes. That was centrally important. So I wouldn't change that. Were I to change OotP, I would make Harry less of a needless grouch.
I would change every one of Ursula K. LeGuin's novels so that they had climaxes that looked climactic.
I would change names in the Shannara novels so we aren't driven to distraction by Alcoholics Anonymous, anthrax, and the fairy tale about the feeble old German farm animals. Maybe cut down on the number of fake deaths as well.
I would wipe Tom Bombadil off the face of the earth and have the hobbits fend off the Barrow-wights on their own.
I would take the sex scenes out of Catswold Portal - it's a fantastic book other than the gratuitous sex every seventy pages or so.
Oh yes, I have plans.
I would change every one of Ursula K. LeGuin's novels so that they had climaxes that looked climactic.
I would change names in the Shannara novels so we aren't driven to distraction by Alcoholics Anonymous, anthrax, and the fairy tale about the feeble old German farm animals. Maybe cut down on the number of fake deaths as well.
I would wipe Tom Bombadil off the face of the earth and have the hobbits fend off the Barrow-wights on their own.
I would take the sex scenes out of Catswold Portal - it's a fantastic book other than the gratuitous sex every seventy pages or so.
Oh yes, I have plans.
Sat Jun 26, 2004 7:27 am
I would murder the book 'Scarlet'. It is not a good sequel to 'Gone with the Wind' and I refuse to allow there to be any sequel untiil it can match GWTW in quality.
Sat Jun 26, 2004 6:54 pm
I miss pictures. I don't want picture books, but a few pictures in Harry Potter would be quite amusing (aside from the chapter pics).
Sat Jun 26, 2004 11:05 pm
Tharkun wrote:I would take the sex scenes out of Catswold Portal - it's a fantastic book other than the gratuitous sex every seventy pages or so.
Oh yes, I have plans.
How about 'Clan of the Cave Bear', that serious is just a vague excuse for an endless string of sex...