Mystical wrote:
Hey, thanks, I've got more!
Boy: Are caterpillars good to eat, father?
Father: No. Whydo you ask?
Boy: You had one in your salad, but it's gone now!
Bobby: Dad, I'm too tired to do my homework.
Dad: Now, my boy, hard work never killed anyone yet.
Bobby: Well, I don't want to run the risk of being the first.
Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat.
Waiter: Just a moment, sir, and I'll cut it in two.
Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in?
Customer: No.
Barber: Oh, then I must have cut through your throat.
"Will the band play anything I ask them to?"
"Certainly, sir"
"Well, ask them to play chess."
Mother Lion: Son, what are you doing?
Baby Lion: I am chasing a man around a tree.
Mother Lion: How often must I tell you not to play with your food!
Susie: Mother, what was the station our train stopped at?
Mother: I don't know--can't you see I'm reading?
Susie: Well, it's too bad, because, that's where little Benny got off.
Teacher: Bobby, can you name the four seasons?
Bobby: Salt, pepper, vinegar, and mustard.
"This pair of shoes you sold me yesterday is ridiculous. One shoe has a heel two inches shorter than the other. What am I supposed to do?"
"Limp."
Teacher: Which is farther away--Australia or the moon?
Bobby: Australia.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Bobby: We can see the moon, and we can't see Australia.
Last one today! -pants-
Should you stir your tea with your left hand or your right?
Neither--use your spoon.
Ok, I'm finally DONE! Yes, check back tomorrow!
Lol, they're all equally clever and funny... hard to choose a favourite one.
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