Heyhey. O do I have a wierd one for you! I posted this a few months back, but it's probably the wierdest one I've ever recorded (heck, it's the only one I've ever recorded).
Note: When I say "captain" throughout most of this, I mean "Magistrate".
[[First there were the unidentifiable bits at start of a dream, and then-]]
Captain: Have we not lived together, in relative peace? And this is how you repay us.
Murron: *Is me for some reason?*
Captain: *Slits her throat*
Murron: *Thankfully isn't me anymore... dies*
William Wallace: *is for some reason watching, trembles*
[[And THEN everything goes amok. Instead of the Scots massacring the English, it goes the other way round! Captain for some reason isn't there anymore? English leave only women and children alive- how considerate. yes, Wallace was killed too. Now THERE'S an interesting twist.]]
Guy who suddenly appeared: *starts listing names of people left alive, telling them where they'll go now... one goes to work for Jabba the Hutt? They go off to work for random characters from random books and movies, and then-*
Guy who suddenly appeared: Ok, next... you, in the black!
Me, who happens to be wearing a black dress: *Thinks he means someone else.*
Guy: You!
Me: *gestures to myself questioningly*
Guy: Yeah, you! Er- Who are you?
Me: *Is Eowyn*
Me: *walks up in very Eowynish manner* Eowyn I am, daughter of Eomund. [[Good lord, I even quote Pelennor in my dreams!]]
Guy: Uh, yeah... you work with... hm, the Captain.
Me: *Senses opportunity for revenge and/or escape back to Rohan, hops on big black horse from one of my RPs and rides to wherever the Captain is- apparently, it's not England.*
Scene Two: In the backround and having Nothing to do with the rest of the dream
Willam Wallace, who appears to be alive again: *cries*
William Wallace: *something about replanting the tree Murron was murdered on, even though it was a pole*
Hamish: Dude, it's a pole. You can't plant a pole.[[Yes, I actually dreamed this bit.]]
*end scene*
Scene Three: In the lair of the Captain, who suddenly looks like the Usurper from A City in Winter
Me: *Arrives*
Captain: Ah... the new arrival. And... you are?
Me: Eowyn am I, daughter of Eomund. [[Stop saying that!]]
Captain: I see... now, what exactly are you here for?
Me: *Starts decieving him in a very Murrieto-from-Mask Of Zorro-esque manner* I have come for a week to inspect the current state of your kingdom, Captain. *Low bow*
Captain: Ah... well, let me show you to your room....
Scene Four: In which the Captain shoots people.
Captain: *Shoots people for no particular reason*
Me: *Acts decievingly pleased... when alone pukes*
Scene five: Little schoolboys, and I'll note this also has nothing to do with anything
Little schoolboy: *leans out of school bus window*
Bus driver: *Goes around closing windows and warning that he'll do so, closes window on little schoolboy who can't understand a word he's saying, speaking only spanish*
Little schoolboy: *falls onto pavement, v. injured*
Captain: *shoves little schoolboy aside*
Little schoolboy: *rolls under bus in pain- bus rolls over him with more pain, and death.*
Me: Well what did you shove him to his death for?
Captain: Oh... erm, I didn't see him... yeah...
Me: Well for crying out loud, he fell out of a school bus window!
Captain: And that was his own fault for not paying attention!
Me: He couldn't speak english! It was your fault for not regulating the education system! [[Note: The captain seems to be king of his little country thing]]
Captain: *is angry* What did you say
Me: Never mind... erm... *pats Captain on back* Very fine job you've done... that there was the only unsatisfactory thing I've seen all week!
Scene six: Jealous- is handmaiden or lady-in-waiting the right term?s- Poison, and something I'll just have to hint at.
Captain: *hints at something*
Me: *slaps him*
Captain: *is angry*
Handmaiden: *for some reason thinks I'm an old lady in disguise?*
All sense in the plot: *goes on lunch break*
Captain: *hints again*
Me: *kicks him* Leave me alone, snake!
Captain: *is very angry, gives chase*
Me: *Runs in a very Eowynly manner*
Handmaiden: I'll reveal your ugliness, old lady in disguise! Bwahahaha!
Me: *just then remembers I wanted revenge for Murron*
Lady serving drinks in the hallways of the manner: *sings a sad, mournful tune for Murron*
Captain: *shoots lady serving drinks*
Me: *trips over chair in attempt to escape, lays sprawled on the floor and unable to move*
Handmaiden: *trips over other chair in attempt to catch me and prove I'm an old lady, lays sprawled on the floor and unable to move*
Captain: *evil laugh*
All sense in the plot: *comes back from lunch* Woah- what happened here? Better make it come full circle!
Captain: *pants, catches up with us*
Kind old lady: *walks up to me, as Handmaiden gets up. Flips me onto my back and gasps.* She'll need an ambulance... it looks like she got hurt falling down those stairs! [[I think I forgot to mention falling down stairs in an effort to escape.]]
Captain: *snorts* No, it's not that... I'll have you know I poisoned her earlier today!
Me: *is shocked*
Me: W... why?
Captain: Because, my poor little puffed-up popinjay, did it not occur to you that your guise could be easily popped? I know you are no envoy from Scotland inspecting my kingdom! You move, you speak, like royalty! You are something else. A princess? I must learn your true purpose, before you escape as you nearly did!
Me: *mouth and throat feel suddenly dry*
Captain: *in mocking tone* Are you thirsty?
Me: *nods, gasping, feeling the poison slowly work its way*
Captain: Good. Then the poison is starting to work... if you answer all my questions honestly, I may give you the antidote!
[[Note: Originally at this point Eomer appeared, and they had a discussion of how the poison is this crappy salt from Minas Tirith which deprives the body of water, but it made less sense than even this, because Eomer suddenly dissapeared... so I'm taking Eomer out.]]
Captain: *hears a bell* Ah... it's dinner!
Handmaiden: *drags me into a seat at dinner, and whispers all sorts of threats under her breath at me about what she'll do to me if she draws back the veil- yeah, I'm wearing a black veil, for Theodred- and discovers I'm some old lady*
Me:*confused*
Me: Why... did you poison me... so soon?
Captain: I knew you would be suspicious of a toast to me, on the final meal of the final day of your stay... so I chucked the salt in your lunch.
Me: *has to admit he's pretty darn smart.*
Dinner: *is over*
Me: *suddenly collapses*
Captain: Good...
Captain's dinner guests: *used to Captain murdering people, go about their buisiness*
Handmaiden and Captain: *drag me to the guest room I've been in*
Handmaiden: *draws back veil*
Me: *looks ready for a nice vambrace. Also happens to be beautiful.*
Captain: Aha... now... are you or are you not a princess?
Tolkien: *Was never too clear on that matter*
Theoden: *wasn't either*
Me: *decides I'm not.* No...
Captain: You lie. [[STOP! I keep stealing LOTR lines in my dreams! Hey wait... is the Captain Wormtongue as well as Captain from Braveheart, Captain Love from Mask of Zorro, the Usurper from A City in Winter, and Maarl from my roleplay 1673?]]
Captain: Where do you come from?
Me: *start to lose eyesight as well as tell truth* Rohan! *gasps in pain as water drained from body by crappy Minas Tirith salt*
Captain: Good...now we're getting some answers! Tell me now... why have you come?
Me: *lies again, finding memory of Murron both too painful and too prone to get her shot* I... I was captured! (well... it's sort of true)
Captain: *Seems content with my story, truly isn't* Now... can you see?
Me: N..no... am... am I dying?
Captain: You will be soon... heh.... place your hands on this and I will belive you are telling the truth.
Me: *has no idea what he's talking about... places hands on rounded, cold surface*
Captain: *dribbles antidote down my throat*
Me: *sight comes back... and is holding....
MURRON'S HEAD!*
Me: *Fights urge to kill Captain, not having the strength at the time, fights urge to puke, sheets too nice, fights urge to reveal why is really here, would leave her killed and therefore unable to fulfill purpose, [[Remember, it was to avenge Murron]] and fights urge to scream.*
Me: *Silent for a while...* You have a very sick mind, Captain.
Captain: *smirks, puts head back in bag, and warns me if he ever finds out I was lying then horrible things will happen*
Scene Seven: I Wake Up
Me: *is out of there as fast as can, back to Edoras...*
Me: *is followed*
Someone: *Calls me "my lady"
Captain: *Thinks he has proof I'm a princess*
Dream: *ends, will surely be continued*
Me: *Wasn't even able to avenge Murron!*
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