Adam loves Hilary Duff wrote:
Everyday, you search for lives true answers.
You look for the one thing that’s true.
You find the answer, right there beside you.
The empty space in your heart.
And you try to be strong, and you’re singing that song.
This paragraph, I like. It's kind of confusing, but I like it. 7/10 for this paragraph.
Quote:
And I feel so alone, without you.
I feel like nothing, without you.
I am nothing in the dark.
I am nothing when I’m blue.
I am sad, I am mad.
But that doesn’t change me.
I’m so alone without you, baby.
Nothing without you.
The only real thing I dislike about this paragraph is the line "I am sad, I am mad." It's so... generic. Try using better words- "mad" and "sad" are, as my fifth grade teacher would call them, kindergarten words. Try using different ones, because those are over used a lot. Another 7/10 for this paragraph.
Quote:
I am lying here, trying to figure out, my life, my meaning, what it’s all about.
You just treat me like a 1 time thing, that you saw for a second flipping through a magazine.
I am more than a 1 second deal, and love for you is what I feel!
I love the second line, "you just treat me like a one time thing, that you saw for a second flipping through a magazine". At first when I read this song, I thought it was just another "oh, I love you, I need you, but you hate me" kinda thing, but that line just brings in more originality. 8/10 for this one.
Quote:
And I feel so alone, without you.
I feel like nothing, without you.
I am nothing in the dark.
I am nothing when I’m blue.
I am sad, I am mad.
But that doesn’t change me.
I’m so alone without you, baby.
Nothing without you.
Already commented on this paragraph above.
Quote:
I get the strength, I get the courage.
I go up and speak to you.
You treat me like I am bugging you.
Trying to repeat words at the ends of lines don't count as a rhyme. It sounds repetitive, not at all what you want to sound like. Songs don't need rhyming, but if you're going to rhyme, you have to do a good job at it. I've seen good rhyming in this song, but this paragraph definitely is not a part of the good rhyming. 5/10.
Quote:
And I feel so alone.
(Without you)
I feel like nothing.
(Without you)
I am nothing, in the dark, baby!
And I am nothing when I’m BLUE!
I AM SAD! I AM MAD!
BUT THAT DOESN’T CHANGE ME!
(Doesn’t change me)
I’m am so alone without you, baby.
And I know, I am nothing without you!
A nice ending, and a good touch- the end chorus should always have something more than just the regular chorus. The repeating words in the background are good, they give the extra flair the end of the song needs. 8/10.
All in all, not too shabby at all.
Overall, 7.5/10.