Adam Kay - London Underground (with 10% more asterixes)
some people might like to get a train to work
or drive in in a beamer or a merc
some guys like to travel in by bus
but i cant be bothered with the fuss today
i gotta take my bike
cos once again the tubes on strike
the greedy b******s want extra pay
for sitting on there a*s all day
even though they earn 30k.
so im standing here in the pouring rain,
where the f***s my f*****g train!
(chorus)
London underground, (London underground),
there all lazy f******g useless c***s
London underground, (London underground),
there all greedy c***s i want to shoot them all,
with a rifle
all they say is please mind the doors
and they learn that on the two day course,
this job could be done by a four year old
they just leave us freezing in the cold.
what you smell is what you get
burger king and smurf and sweat
you roast to death in the boiling heat
with tourists treading on your feet.
and chewing gun on every seat,
so dont tell me to mind the gap,
i want my f*****g money back!
(chorus)
London underground (London underground),
there all lazy f*****g useless c***s
London underground, (London underground),
there all greedy c***s i want to shoot them all,
with a rifle,
lalalala
lalalala
the floors are sticky and the seats are damp,
every platform has a f*****g tramp.
and the drivers get the day off when,
we're all late for work again!
London underground, (London underground),
wa wa w*****s,
they're all w*****s,
London underground (London underground),
take your oyster card,
and shove it up your a*****e.
You need to listen to it to get the real joy out of it