weird al yanovic - why does this always happen to me:
I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About dsome devistating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive On the Richter scale it measured 8.2
And I said, "God, please answer me one question?" "Why'd they have to interrupt 'The Simpsons' just for this?" What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything And now I'll have to wait for the rerun to see the part of the show I missed
Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? (Why) Why does this always happen to me?
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I was driving down the highway when all the traffic slowed to a crawl There was a twelve-car pile-up, everybody dead And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head
And I thought - Poor Rob, I just had lunch with him Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money - what a jerk Well, there's five bucks that I'm never gonna see again Plus now, on top of everything else, it looks like I'm gonna be late to work
Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? (Why) Why does this always happen to me?
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Oh, the other day, my boss said we were running low on toner And he told me I should buy another case Well, I told him I was busy, but he still just kept on asking So, I turned around and stabbed him in the face (right in the face)
Oh, and wouldn't you know it, my knife got stuck I guess that's probably bound to happen now and then But I'm afraid I may have bent the tip a little And I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again (quite as sharp again) Oh, tell me
Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me?
Why does this always happen to me? (Why does this always happen to me?) Why does this always happen to me? (Why does this always happen to me?)
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weird al yankovic - ebay
Yeah A used ... pink bathrobe A rare ... mint snowglobe A Smurf ... TV tray I bought on eBay
My house ... is filled with this crap Shows up in bubble wrap Most every day What I bought on eBay
Tell me why (I need another pet rock) Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock) Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee) They had it on eBay
I'll buy ... your knick-knack Just check ... my feedback "A++!" they all say They love me on eBay
Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag) Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag) (From some guy) I've never met in Norway Found him on eBay
I am the type who is liable to snipe you With two seconds left to go, whoa Got Paypal or Visa, what ever'll please ya As long as I've got the dough
I'll buy ... your tchotchkes Sell me ... your watch, please I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy ...) I'm highest bidder now
(Junk keeps arriving in the mail) (From that worldwide garage sale) (Dukes Of Hazard ashtray) (Hey! A Dukes Of Hazard ashtray) Oh yeah ... (I bought it on eBay)
Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox) Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks) Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre) (Found it on eBay)
Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcet poster) (Pez dispensers and a toaster) (Don't know why ... the kind of stuff you'd throw away) (I'll buy on eBay)
What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y
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