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 Post subject: In Absolute Shock
PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 1:32 am 
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I just received a phone call from my friend Nicole.

Yesterday evening, Rebecca Nelson, the girl who sat by me in Spanish class, was in a car accident. She's dead.

I wasn't her best friend, but I sat by her every morning for the past couple of months. We joked around. She was the loud type, a cheerleader, on track team, always making jokes. She showed me the tatoo of a butterfly on the small of her back. She shared some candy with me once. I drew a picture of her and she kept it on her notebook. She wasn't a very prominent person in my life, but all of a sudden, poof. No more Becca. She just isn't there any more.

I'm not crying, but I can't stop shaking. I just feel so disturbed. I remember how she was talking about how this year's pep rally sucked and how she'd make sure next year's was better. She talked about moving to Florida.

She won't even be here to take our next Spanish test, after she told my teacher, "Don't worry, Shoopack, I'll study for this one. I'm on a roll."

The idea that people don't last forever isn't a new one, but it's never been made so real before. The real concept of death and dying is something I always thought I'd be prepared for. Dying is for old people. It's for people with cancer. It's for people who have heart failure or brain tumors or AIDS. It's not supposed to be for 16-year-old girls who promised to study for their next Spanish test and move to Florida and get another tatoo on their ankle.

Teenage life just seemed so invincible before. Sure, you hear about drugs and alcohol and car accidents happening to people that you've never seen before, like people in statistics or your friend's cousin's neighbor. But instead of looming in the distance like it's supposed to, it just came out of nowhere and swiped Becca right out of her desk. She was probably wearing her blue windbreaker pants. She wore them a lot. Death just soared out of the left field and took her while she was wearing the same pants she wore last week. There was no ceremony or warning.

I feel so shaken. My hands are trembling. I'm probably not making any sense because the thoughts in my head are like a tape somebody is fast forwarding. I always used to go about my business and not even stop to think that life's just like a lotto. Like those stupid golf balls in the cage on TV. At any moment, your number could be picked and you're gone. You can't come back. You can't say, "Wait! I haven't ever rode a motorcycle or had children or been to the Grand Canyon." Everything is finished, even if you never did anything to make a difference.

I remember something very cryptic that she once said to me. She said, "Once, on a solider's grave, he put the words, 'When I die, I know I'm going to Heaven, because I spent my life in Hell.' When I die, that's what I want them to put on my grave."

And she never even got to move to Florida.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 1:41 am 
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Is she getting that on her grave?
I'm so sorry Fidds, that is just so so sad.
I hope you stop shaking.
She is in a better place now, be happy.
When I read this post I started to cry.
Well not really but my eyes felt a bit watery....
RIP Rebecca Nelson.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 1:49 am 
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Words can not tell what you must be going through right now. I so very sorry to hear this.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 1:52 am 
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Fidds, I am so sorry. So, so sorry. *hugs*

I've don't remember ever experiencing someone dying, except for pets (right after I post this I'm going to remember someone and feel so crappy), so I really don't know what to say.

All I can say is, it was just her time to go. I personally believe she's in a better place now, away from sucky pep rallies.

Please try to feel better.

And as Adam said-

Rest in peace, Rebecca Nelson.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 2:40 am 
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Many of my friends ralatives have died, and my good friend's dad also died.

He was young, but wasn't healthy. He beat my friend (his son) and had a heart disease. He died at age 50.

I know, I can't relate well, but somehow, I know what you're feeling. another kid's brother died simply by falling down the stairs and breaking his neck.

People die young. Some were honerable, and some were just normal kids, not expecting death to just hit them, like a punch in a stomach.

People ie for no reasons, even those who are the most honorable peopel you may know. Fidds, I know this is hard. If you need any support, you can PM and we can talk.

I hope everything will be as okay as it can be without Rebecca.

Rest in Peace Rebecca. I'm sure you were an honorable and trustworthy soul, wanting only good for the people around you. God bless.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 2:51 am 
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Wow.

I know what you mean. Its seems like dieing is for old people. Not for 16 year old girls. I'm really quite sorry. I don't know what else to say.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 3:25 am 
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*huge hugs*

Woah. I honestly don't know what to say, without it sounding incredibally corny. But I'm sorry for your loss :(

At the start of this year, one of my classmates from my old school died in a freak accident at the beach - he was digging a tunnel and it collapsed on him. You have no idea how bad I felt, because I always ignored him at school and never made the effort to know him.

It's not something which you can change, but that actually woke me up. A lot. I'd been fighting with a few friends, over stupid trivial things. Then I found out about the death of my classmate, and realised that we were all being stupid. Because if you something like that happens in the middle of a fight, your final memory is going to be that you were fighting with them.

Yeah. I've kinda gone off track a bit here. But my main point is I feel for you - deaths like that are the worst. At least with things like cancer, you (usually) have some time to prepare yourself.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 3:29 am 
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Oh dear.... Fidds, I'm so sorry. A death always is shocking, even if you expect it. However, it serves as a reminder to the living to forget frivolous issues and actually live.
A prayer goes to Becca's family and those touched by her passing.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 3:30 am 
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Wow. It feels really bad to just have someone leave forever.
RIP Rebecca Nelson.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 4:43 am 
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I feel the same way, with the whole sort of 'reality shock'. This past year, on MY birthday, and my granparents' anniversary (of at least 55 years), my grandpa was helping one of the local shelters move some material from one mission to the next. On his way, a policeman stopped him and told my grandpa to get out and secure the back of his truck better.

When he did, he was taken out by a semi/tractor-trailer. It wasn't just that it was my birthday, their wedding anniversery, or that I was the last grandkid to have gotten a picture of him that seemed real. It was the way he died. I mean, he was in his early 80's, and was still the hardest worker I knew, and I never saw him passing like that.

I'm not looking for a sympathy vote, but rather just sharing my experience of how sometimes life just sort of 'slaps' you in the face.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 5:33 am 
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That's so sad... I'm so sorry for you, Fidds. :hug:

I totally agree how death seems to be so far way... you always read in the news of murders and accidents but you always think: "That wouldn't happen to me. There are millions of people - how can I be that unlucky?" However, the victims of the tragedies must have thought that too.

Therefore, it is better not to leave anything till tomorrow - remember the classic "Show how much you care for your loved ones before it is too late"? Life is so fragile that we cannot take it for granted - we may die anytime, and all our hopes and dreams and plans for the future will come to naught.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 5:34 am 
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Wow...I just can't imagine going through something like that. You should live life to the fullest and appreciate everything. I recently realized that anyone can die at any time. It's scary.


Fiddelysquat, I'll be sure to pray for Rebecca and all who were affected by her death. Just remember that she is happy now.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 6:23 am 
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I'm so sorry.

I really don't know what to say.

We had a 16 year old girl die not too long ago. She was my old Girl Scout troops daughter. Her name was Dana...she sounds a lot like Becca. It was really hard...so I can imagine this is even worse. I didn't know her very well.

My thoughts go out to her friends and family. *hugs* Be strong, Fidds.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 7:55 am 
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I know I don't really know you...but, I'm sorry for your loss Fidds. *Hugs*

That post really got to me. My eyes began to tear up. And yes, it is a scary thought: that someone can be with you one day...but not the next.

That's why you always hear things like: 'Live everyday like it was your last.' or 'Live like you were dying.' Cause you never know.

It's sad when someone so young, with so many hopes and dreams passes on so suddenly...at all. Just remember that she had a wonderful life full of wonderful people and that she's in a better place now. Again, *Hugs.*

RIP Becca.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 9:44 am 
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I've been sitting here for a couple minutes, trying to figure out if there was anything I can say...and there isn't.

Last year, there was a car accident. The car was full of teenagers coming back from the wrestling...states, I believe. Two died. One, Angie, had been in my Spanish class the year before, sat beside me...I hadn't known her well, but we talked some, she made me laugh a lot...

I don't think it's ever really hit that she's truly gone.

::hugs:: I'm sorry, Fidds.


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