I know some of these!
1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
A farmer. xP
2. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would ever eat?
In case of an alien invasion.
3. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Thats because dogs are silly
4. If Jimmy cracks corn and noone cares, why is there a song about him?
MWAHAHA! I know! Because it was about freedom and slaves and stuff and when there were no slaves and little Jimbob could take out a hammer and crack corn with it any time he liked
5. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Because he's a coconutologist? XD
6. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Goofy is goofy, so is thus a goofy dog and isn't normal
7. What do you call male ballerinas?
A ballerina man.
8. Can blind people see their dreams?
Yus. It's all in ze headzeee!
9. Why ARE Trix only for kids?
What's Trix?
10. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Because he's silly
11. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker?'
No idea.
12. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Depends what he's talking about.
13. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if there is a 'wet paint' sign somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
Because we can.
14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
..Haha, good one. I'm stumped XD
15. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Probably.
16. Why do the alphabet song and 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' have the same tune?
Because the aliens made the alphabet song, and wanted to sing about their native planet.
YAAAY!
Good ones.