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PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 5:08 am 
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This is pretty much my experience with getting the valentine's day card. It started out as fact, but I quickly decided to delve into fiction to make it a tad bit more interesting and get filler. I had a bit of a problem working with the theme, but I hope you enjoy what I got there.

Tim waited outside the shop, waiting patiently for the next ship. All he wanted was to give someone a card for Valentine’s Day, but all the stores were sold out. He stared down at his watch as he counted down until when the store manager said the new cards would be in “5…4…3…” Just then, a loud rumble could be heard. Earthquake? Stampede? The second one was close. A horde of people rushed toward the door as Tim frantically tried to open the door in panic. He was pushed out of the way and trampled as the shoppers ran into the store, bought up all the cards, and left. All Tim got was a bloody nose and a busted lip “Only in Neopia…” muttered Tim.
Tim relaxed at a nearby diner, and talked to his brother Tom “I just don’t get it.” He said, “It’s just a card. One measly card, yet people are selling it for outrageous prices. The only reason they can get away with this is because they buy them all so fast. This sort of thing should be illegal.” Tom tried to calm him down “The problem is it’s not illegal. As long as people will buy, they can sell them. There’s really nothing we can do.” Tim got up and paid for his lunch, going back to the shop to try again.
Once again, the shoppers stormed in before Tim could even get his foot inside the door, and once again, Tim found himself waiting outside for the next shipment. It was then that he noticed the truck pulling up back and got an idea. It was exactly nice, but at this moment, it wasn’t just about the card. It was about fighting for the poor people of Neopia, those that had to settle for less in everything because of the greed of others. He crept up to the delivery van, trying his best to hide in the shadows. The back of the van was open, and inside were boxes and boxes of valentines. He was shaking from the excitement. He could send a few out, and give the rest to the poor “Or sell them and get rich!” spoke a dark thought in the back of his mind. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and proceeded to the van. While he was just inches away, he felt his shirt grow tight and the ground fell away from his feet. “And just where do you think you’re going?” said the security officer “You weren’t planning on stealing, were you?” Tim tried to answer, but the words wouldn’t come out. He’d been caught, plain and simple. After being unceremoniously tossed from the alley, he went back to the front of the shop to wait.
The thought of theft was still fresh on his mind, and he wasn’t about to be beaten to the door again. He went into the shop, being careful to look like he was browsing, and looked for possible ways in. The supply room was in the back, securely locked. There were a few ventilation ducts around the room, but all were one foot tall and two feet wide, a bit too much of a tight squeeze. He shrugged and decided to try the roof.
The shop next to the gift shop had an escape ladder running up the side, and now that he was on top of it he could see his entrance. A stairway could be seen on top of the roof, probably for air deliveries, and it looked like it was right above the supply room. Tim looked at the gap between the buildings. It looked to be about five feet wide. He was one story up, so the fall wasn’t likely to injure him if he missed the jump, but he wasn’t sure if that guard might be poking around down there. Tim stepped back a few feet, ran for the gap and leaped. He had jumped a bit early to clear the raised edge on the roof, and was having second doubts about if he’d make it, but still managed to grab on. He heard something begin to snap, and suddenly found himself on top of the roof. He looked at where he had been holding onto just seconds before, now just a hole in the edge. A part of him wanted to remember how he managed to pull himself up so fast, but was quickly drowned out by the part of him running to the door of the stairway. The door was unlocked. “Heehee, this is my lucky day!” he chuckled to himself. He waited until he heard the van drive away, then checked his watch “Ok, 3 minutes to get down there and grab the cards before they go on sale. Plenty of time.” He ran down the stairs, regretting not having a flashlight as the door closed at the top. His watch had a light function so he could tell time in the dark, and while he couldn’t see much, it was better than nothing. He reached the bottom and checked the door there. Unlocked. “Too easy…” he muttered to himself. Once inside the supply room, he ripped open one of the boxes and began stuffing his pockets with cards, even stuffing a few up his sleeves for good measure. Smiling to himself, he tried to open the door to the stairs. It was locked. He tried the back door. Also locked. He didn’t dare try the door to the main store, but had a feeling that too, was locked. He felt trapped and scared. It was one thing to be caught sneaking up to a van, but quite another to be caught in the room with half a box of cards in his possession. Tim searched the room for some way out, and came up with a paper clip, a rubber band, and a scrap of paper. He discarded the rubber band and paper and began trying to pick the lock on the back door. After 2 minutes of this, he realized his lock picking skills were more horrible than he could ever imagine. He could hear the store owner approaching, his time was running. Quickly, Tim thought of a plan. He stuffed all the cards he had back in the box, and sealed it back up as best he could. As the door opened, he ran up to it “Thank goodness you’re here, the other delivery guys locked me in here!” he said. He walked out into the store, and waited for the cards to go on the shelf. Right as they did, he blinked… and they were gone. They had beaten him again. He decided to go back to the diner, it was getting late and he needed something to eat.
“YOU DID WHAT!?” asked Tom. Tim had told him what happened, down to every last detail. “I can’t believe you would be so thoughtless as to try to steal from the store! What if you had gotten caught? You could have been frozen, or worse. Look, why don’t we go back to the store, and this time I’ll help you get one.”
It was close to midnight, and Valentine’s Day was almost over. The last shipment of the year was coming in, and it was for this moment that Tim prepared himself. The boxes were coming in, and Tim rushed at the door, turning the handle and pushing it open in one solid motion. Tom duct-taped a length of twine across the door and stepped back. Tim never knew about that, he just sprinted toward the shelves. Everything appeared to go in slow motion, and he could swear he heard Chariots of Fire playing over the radio. He grabbed a card, slapped down the money, and finally relaxed. As he stepped over the pile of people collapsed at the door, Tom patted him on the back “Good for you.”
Tim sat at home for a few minutes, the valentine sitting in front of him. This little card is what he spent so much time working for, and now what was he going to do with it? More and more he felt like selling it, to stop being poor and get all the things he wanted, but he remembered why he wanted to get one in the first place, to brighten up the day of one of his friends. He opened up the card and wrote the following inside “Dear Bonnie: True friends are those that will go through hell and high water for each other, even if they know it won’t be appreciated. Thanks for all your help over the years.”


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 6:00 am 
Beyond Godly
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The Perfect Valentine Cards 1032 Words

Lora sat down at her desk. The surface of the desk was cluttered with supplies, construction paper, scissors, glue, pencils, pens and markers. All the essential supplies for making the perfect Valentine cards! (In her mind anyways)
Lora wasn’t particularly good at crafts and drawing, her Mother’s Day card was a complete mess. Lora’s mother almost thought she had meant to do a collage. Lora didn’t mind, she had always thought that it was the thought that counts, even if the cards weren’t perfect.
Lora glanced out the large window on the right wall to her desk, it was a wonderful day outside. Lora wished she had made the cards beforehand, and had not procrastinated until the last minute. Lora sighed and reminded herself that she will get the cards done before she could go outside and play.
Lora took a piece of pink construction paper, and tried to sketch a heart on it with a pencil. The result was an oddly irregular shape slightly resembling the letter B. Lora sighed, it was going to take a while.
After many, many tries, Lora had finally gotten a good heart shape down. Lora quickly glanced at the digital clock on her bedside table, she was surprised at how long that had took her.
Lora cut her paper heart out with great care, trying not to ruin the shape she had took so long to make. That heart was to be a “template”, she decided, for future cards to come.
Lora spent a while cutting away at the construction paper, her desk was now practically buried under a collection of different colored paper. Lora didn’t stop until she was happy with the amount she has, 12, one for each of her dearest friends and family. She wondered what to put on them, a few ideas popped into her head, but she decided to go with the most practical and realistic one. She made a mistake by trying to do something real fancy for her Mother’s Day card, she isn’t going to make it again.
A simple message written on a smaller, pink heart, was in the center of Lora’s Valentines card for Sheila, a friend of hers. It was also decorated by many festive little circles here and there. A sprinkle of sparkles completed this, (again, in her mind) masterpiece.
She did the same design for all of her friends, but switching the color of sparkles to their favorite color. Lora hoped they would notice this detail. She wrote a special message for each of them, she wasn’t that good with words either. A choppy Valentines message centered each card, still, it’s the thought that counts… right?
Lora had finished the cards for her friends just as the afternoon was starting to fade into night. She looked outside, its too late for her to catch a game of soccer with her friends now, might as well finish her cards. She only had two left anyways.
Lora decided to do a slightly “different” design for her parents, a indigo heart was cut out and glued onto the remaining red hearts. In big, bold letters she wrote on the indigo heart, “To the greatest parents ever!” Many irregular yellow stars were cut out and scattered around the blue heart. She wrote a short, cute message for both of them.
“Lora!” Lora’s mother, Lucile, called. “Dinner time!”
“Already?” Lora called back. She didn’t realize so much time has gone by, she put the finished cards in her desk, quickly cleaned up her mess, and went downstairs for dinner.

Lora awoke early, she slammed her ringing alarm clock sleepily. She sat up slightly, rubbed her eyes, and realized it was Valentines Day.
Lora put on a pair of navy jeans and a light pink sweater. She reached into her desk and got out the Valentine Cards. She tip-toed over to her parent’s room, peeked inside to make sure they weren’t awake, and quietly pushed open the door. There was a table right beside the entrance to the room, she placed the cards on the table, went back to her own room and put on her backpack. She walked over to the living room and opened the door to outside.
The chilly February morning air embraced her as she walked across her yard. Despite the sweater, the cold was still finding its way through to her skin. Lora rubbed her hands together to warm herself up, and then started a jog towards school.
Lora got to school a good hour before it starts, she wanted to make sure none of her friends are there already. Well, she was the only person there besides a few of the teachers, Lora decided she was a tad too early.
Lora knew all her friends’ lockers by heart, she dashed down the halls of her school slipping the cards in here and there.
People started arriving by the time she was done sending the cards, among the people was one of her best friends, Sheila. Sheila ran towards her, greeting her with a much too tight hug. They both started chattering about this and that while walking to Sheila’s locker. They still had about 45 minutes before school starts, they decided to check over their answers for their latest math homework.
Sheila put her backpack in her locker then noticed Lora’s card. A smile crept across Sheila’s face while she was reading it. Lora then backed away, then started to run before Sheila hugs her again.
Lora sat down in the library, checking over her math answers. There she sat, for a good time before she was done, just as she was about to get up and leave, her friends found her.
They had each received their card, and they each had something for Lora! Some had cards for Lora, some had candy, and some had both! Actually, they had presents for each other too, it was like a mini gift exchange in the Library.
The bell rang, it was time to get to their classes. They all said thanks to each other and hurried to their classes. Lora ran towards her classroom and thought, “They were the perfect Valentine Cards after all.”


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 11:00 am 
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Guess who rushed his ending :roll: .

Johnny's Valentine's Day Story

Johnny moaned loudly as he slapped at his alarm clock. He took a few minutes to adjust to the morning light before sitting up in his bed. And as he looked longingly at the rain outside, hoping that today would be different than every other day, he sighed and got out of bed.

Johnny had especially high hopes for today. He was usually an optimist, but occasionally memories of previous personal experiences damped his high spirits. But for today, Johnny let himself bask in the glory of his high hopes.

You see, today was no ordinary day. Oh no, today was special. Today was Valentine’s Day, the day of love, passion and everything else associated with a secret crush. Well, at least that’s how Johnny sees it. Since his first day at high school, Johnny has had a secret crush. Everyday he hopes to talk to her.

He’s now in his second year of high school, but has never talked to her before. It’s not that he’s a loser, or that she’s too cool, it’s just like there’s this mental barrier stopping him from going up and talking to her. Anyway, we are getting off track from the point of this story.

After getting dressed in what he thought was his coolest clothes, Johnny caught the bus to school and met up with his mates before class. His best mate, Tim, was very down. He hated Valentine’s Day and thought it was a stupid commercialized holiday, an opinion which he was showing in full force, sporting a t-shirt that read:

Valentine’s Day
Don’t Buy Into It

Johnny and Tim had a whole argument (the same one as the previous year) on the merits of the day, but in the end, Johnny let Tim win. He wasn’t about to be distracted from what he imagined as his ‘day of fate’ with the girl of his dreams. All his friends laughed at this, but again, Johnny didn’t care.

His first class was English. It was so hot he couldn’t concentrate, his mind was on Mandy anyway. All the spinning fans were going full force but it was still boiling. Then, in a freak accident, Timmy (the school bully) threw a rock at the fan, it broke off, and landed on Johnny. Well, I guess his Valentine’s Day story ends here.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 11:08 am 
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Ok no more entries please!

Im putting all of the stories into two messages cos it messed up the thread being in one!:P


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TGSET: http://www.pinkpt.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=13685


Last edited by xjox on Sat Feb 19, 2005 12:06 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 11:13 am 
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thats going to be one loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong post! ;)


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 12:01 pm 
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Stories: I have had to put them into 2 posts cos it kinda messed up the thread!

Critics Please PM me your reviews and ratings, I will be combining all of the reviews and posting them together. Please make sure your rating is out of 10, 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest.

School Bus - Jabond102

Quote:
Donald is just a kid who likes girls but hides it and they don’t know he likes them, but he is overall one of the normal and not geeks or smokers in the school. He has a secret crush on a girl named, ‘Kate’. On Valentines Day he hopped onto the bus.
“Hey!” Donald said as he got on to the bus. Thankful that Ms. Sunn (name changed for security reasons) came back from being sick, Ms. Sunn had been sick with ammonia and he was stuck with a substitute for two weeks!
The substitute got five people on the bus dentition. One of the people she gave dentition to she called a bus clown since he shot his water bottle into the aisle. The second kid was doing his homework the bus and she said you are not allowed to even though he always did it. The third kid was talking to loud. The fourth kid stole a kid’s backpack and got in trouble for doing it. The last kid that she yelled at was a kid in second grade since he was wearing no seatbelt. Since the evil substitute did not know anybody’s name all she said was, “Hand this slip to the principal.” As Donald watched the kids get off each time they ripped the slip up and ran back to their houses and they never got in trouble.
Donald had always had a secret crush on the girl who sat in seat 22, her name was Kate. Kate was a beautiful blonde, skinny, and was kind all of the time. Kate always though Donald liked a different girl but what she didn’t know was that he liked her. Donald thought the girl that Kate thought he liked was, ‘dumb, annoying, and not good looking.’
On Valentines Day in the back of the bus where they all sat, with other people around them, things happened. Katie kept saying, “Donald you know you like her, give her a heart.” Donald ignored the girl he liked with all of his heart and kept talking to Tony, the kid in front of him. Tony was cursing at Donald because Donald was making fun of him for liking someone.
“Tony I know you like Emily!” shouted Donald. “No I do not you –words I cannot write on ppt-,” responded Tony. Donald yelled to Emily who sat in the front, “Tony loves you!” Emily got mad and did not talk to Tony for the rest of the bus ride.
At the end of the bus ride Kate told Donald that she was going out with someone named Sean. Donald got mad. Sean was a jerk, bully, and probably did drugs. He then found out that Sean and Kate had made out and Donald would not state his anger. “Sean is a jerk and he is stupid. Wouldn’t be surprised if he did drugs!” Donald said. Kate got mad and wouldn’t talk to him for the rest of the ride. Donald thought in his head, Thank GOD! She won’t bother me anymore!
Kate then got off and Donald looked at Tony. “Tony make fun of me but, I like Kate!” said Donald. The girl who Kate said Donald liked was shocked.
“You like Kate! I am telling her! I will, I will, I will!” stammered Tony. “I am telling you this friend to friend. I have not told her because I know she does not like me,” said Donald. “Donald, I have liked people before and told them. You do not know if she does or not. She could have bothered you earlier because she does like you.” “Maybe she does Tony, but if I ask the slightest ear could hear and the whole entire school would find out. Like when you liked Emily the whole school found out!” Donald started laughing but Tony looked mad. Emily then spoke up, “Tony, I am sorry I do not like you. One day I may but not now.” Tony smiled with joy knowing Emily probably did like him but would never tell him. “Okay Emily,” Tony said. He moved back into his seat smiling and was in a good mood for the rest of the bus ride.
“I see I get a break now!” Donald said while laughing. “At least now you won’t get mad at me since you admitted you like her. I just wish I Kate knew I liked her and she liked me. I long for the day I get a girlfriend,” said Donald.
“Donald, I promise not to tell her that you like her or anybody else. If you want to have a relationship though with her, I suggest on telling her you like her soon,” said Tony. “Well, I messed you up with your old girlfriend before Tony, if you Emily becomes yours I will not mess it up,” said Donald.
Donald had to get off the bus since the bus arrived at his house. Ms. Sunn gave him some candy for Valentines Day like she does on every holiday to everyone and Donald and his sisters got off the bus.
Donald got off the bus and started to wonder how relationships go, how things go. The next day he hopped onto the bus after he got ready for school. “Hey Emily,” he yelled to Tony making fun of him. He then got back into his seat all mad at Donald.
Kate then started to poke the same joke at Donald again. Donald then gained courage from what Tony had told him yesterday, “Kate I don’t like her. I like you,” she gasped and did not speak to Donald for the rest of the bus ride. The bus arrived at the school and Donald stuck his hand out and touched Kate’s butt. She laughed and smiled. “I guess some things take time, I hope you don’t next time you mention something like this,” said Kate. Donald smiled but knew Kate was lying.


Star-Crossed Lovers - Matt
Quote:
Valentine's day was the one day that Jo hated. as she stormed into school, the pink remains of the card she had torn up hanging out the back pocket of the bag, where her little brother, Logan, had put it. With the door of the classroom nearly being thrown of its hinges, she slumped in her desk, where a rather amused Mr. Bryant was looking at her. "Is there anything you want to share with us?" he asked the angry girl, who gave him a sulking expression, which he had taken to mean 'No.' "So this card," he said, picking up the litter that had fallen out of the bag, "That exclaims a Master Templeton's affection for you is just a figment of the class's imagination?" Exchanging the rather vacant expression on her face to one of anger and embarrassment, she scoured the class for the little dweeb who had sent her the card that the teacher had read out. He was short, and he had large glasses. On the top of his head, was curly, greasy ginger hair, which one could see little flakes of dandruff inhabiting had one looked hard enough. Jo, on the other hand, was beautiful. She wasn't arrogant, but she knew she was beautiful. If someone said that she had beauty, then she wouldn't deny it, for she clearly was pretty, but she just absorbed it. Her waist-length hair was a shimmering brown colour, and went well with the hazelnut eyes that she flaunted on the other side of her face. She had a few freckles, dotting daintily around her nose, but nothing too astounding. In short, she was beautiful. As the glass were pointing, mocking her new-found love, her eyes flamed up, and you could see the red tinges around her hazel eyes, which one could only see when she was glaring. To seek comfort, she turned to her boyfriend, Matt, to gain insight on what to do. She was horrified to see Matt struggling to stifle his laughter, and nearly exploded with the mirth he had to conceal. With that, Jo lost her cool, and the angry mistress stormed out the room to the corridor, with tears welling up inside her dainty eyes. Mr. Bryant surveyed the card, and seeing Matt giving him a questioning look, he nodding, signaling for him to go and comfort his, probably former, girlfriend.

The door gently closed behind Matt, and he stretched his legs, in order to take a seat next to Jo. When he looked at her, she saw the tears flowing down her cheek, and the stains under her eyes made her look a mess. Matt shoved his hands in his pockets, but finding no evidence of a handkerchief, he ripped a bit of his T-Shirt to give to the girl sat next to her. Jo readily accepted it, and started wiping her eyes, bringing herself back to reality. Jo looked at the handsome young man sat next to her. He black hair was spiky above the top of his head, it made him look like a hedgehog, she had always said. His eyes were very pale, possessing a ghostly air to them, yet his lips were blood red. He had a few spots, but nothing more than what was to be expected one to have when going through the age that the class were at now. Jo didn't want to leave him, but how could someone who insulted her, who bullied her, really love her. She lowered her head, and resigned herself to thought. She really loved Matt, she knew that, and he was beautiful. He was funny, and when they were on dates, she couldn't help but look into his eyes and look at their future together, married with two, or even three children. Was it right to spoil that because of the stupid prank that her idiot younger brother pulled? But then, how insensitive was the boyfriend that sat next to her? If she were fired, would Matt laugh at her then, or would he mock her if she died. She imagined Matt standing up to the altar at her funeral, spouting out insults and jokes with her coffin stood behind him, losing all the respect she had because of her tragedy. She had a hard decision, and she looked up at the smiling boy, and realized she would miss a lot if she ever broke up with him.

Jo opened her mouth, but nothing game out but a small cough. Matt bent over the French book that she had brought out with her in her rage, and put his dark lips onto hers, and then, for what seemed like an eternity, they held their mouths, and they were in bliss. Jo had never felt such ecstasy before. Sure Matt had pecked her on the cheeks before, but this was the first time that he had... Well, that they had ever properly kissed before. The coldness of the lips that touched hers added to the warm feeling inside of her, as she glowed, readily, and as the lips let go of hers, she felt bare again, and empty as she had before she met Matt. She looked down again, and smiled. How could she abandon her true love after something like this? The bond between the two of them there, sat against the door to the French room had never been stronger, and she could tell Matt had shared the experience. In his eyes, there was a slight glimmer, and his lips had curved round into a smile. This was what true love was, Jo realized, and then she wanted nothing more than to cuddle Matt in her arms, and kiss all day. She opened her mouth, and with much greater confidence, she spoke to Matt, "I feel..." she said, before her voice crackled and faded out. "Don't speak," Matt said in his gently, melodic voice, putting a single, cold finger over her warm lips. Jo nodded, and stood up, grabbing the creased French book that the couple had forgotten about during their love. Hand in hand, they entered the door to face the class that had rejected Jo just minutes earlier.

The door flew open and a class swung their heads, to see the hands of the two lovers, bound behind their backs, much to the mirth of the class. Templeton blushed, as he saw the two glance at him, but luckily they took a seat on the other side of the classroom, and turned their backs to the geek who had been the target of such anger earlier. The lesson passed without anything else happening, thankfully, thought Jo. Templeton, who normally spent the lesson with his hand raised and his body jerking in anticipation of the next question, was much more quiet than normal. At the end of the lesson, just as they had entered, Matt and Jo exited hand in hand, much to the disappointment of the hoping boy, hopping out after them, trying to either look up the short skirt that Jo was wearing, try to propose or just apologies. Templeton pulled at the ripped remains of the seam that Matt had on, and as he turned round the look on his face grew domineering. Looking down on the small nerd that stood, looking up, he questioned in an elevated tone "Yes?" Matt struggled not to laugh, just as he had earlier, when the young kid's lip started quivering and tears welled up. He turned round, and ran. "I wonder what his problem is?" Matt joked as the two lovers, hand in hand, walked round the bend, with their lips sealed together. Valentine's Day is the one day that I love, thought Jo.


Boxed Valentine - Twizzler0171
Quote:
“Class! Please, pay attention!” Miss Love said, desperately trying to get the class of fifth graders’ attention. Valentines Day, one of her favorite holidays for many reasons, was nearing, and she wanted to do something fun for the class. Something she had never done before. But the class of 24 just would not settle down.

Two students, however, were staring attentively at their teacher. They both had older siblings whom had been in Miss Love’s class at some point in time, and had told them about Miss Love and her ‘love’ of holidays. One of them hushed a person next to her, who, in turn, hushed the next person until the whole class was quiet.

Miss Love took a deep breath, and then addressed the class once more. “Thank you. Now, as I was saying… I’m going to try something new this year. Now, this is just an experiment, if all goes well this year. I am going to do a boxed Valentine sort of thing. I will put the Girls’ name in one box, and the Boys’ name in the other. Now, since there are more boys than girls in this class, I have spoken to Mrs. Parkinson, the sixth grade teacher. She has agreed to let our class’s merge, making an equal, or more equal anyways, number of boys and girls. I will ask one of you to come up and pull a name out of each box. Those two names will become ‘Valentines’ on Valentines Day.”

As she had suspected, there were mixed reactions. Some of the girls tried to hide glances to boys they had a crush on. Others made noises, most of which sounded like, “Yuck!” Most of the boys scrunched down lower into their seats and yelled out, “Ew! Cooties!” A few others, however, sat there, trying to decide what they thought of it.

Miss Love laughed, realizing what they thought that meant. “No! You just have to do things to your Valentine all day long. Begin when school begins, end when school ends. And Jeremy… I mean nice things! Like helping them pick up some fallen books, or escorting them to the library.” She paused again as a giggle arouse from the crowd, aimed at Jeremy

When the class managed to settle down again, Miss Love called up a student to pull names out of the box. With a nervous grin, the student put her hand into the two boxes, and pulled out a slip of paper from each. She said the names (Sunnie and Steve) before pulling out the next two. “Bethany and Caleb.”

The two who had been quiet and paying attention earlier glanced at each other, looks of surprise on their faces. They had been paired in some things before, but that was for mostly short things – math sets, art, reading… but had never really noticed each other. Well, both of them thought, we’ll see how things turn out.

---
Valentines Day arrived, and Bethany was all dressed up for the occasion. She wore a light pink turtleneck sweater, with a heart made of sprinkles in the center. She wore a skirt of a pretty shade of red, and shoes of the same color. Her hair was done up in a French braid, and tied with a pink bow.

“You look nice,” a voice said behind her. Startled, she turned around to see who it was. She sighed out lightly in relief as she saw whom it was – only Caleb. He obviously had remembered the task for the day. “I… um, do you want me to help you bring your stuff into class?”

Bethany nodded. “Yeah, thanks… do you need me to do anything for you?”

Caleb shook his head no. “Not right now… if I do need anything, I’ll tell you.”

And so it continued, this awkward relationship for the school day. Constantly asking if the other needed anything, trying to do their best with their Boxed Valentine assignment. Cards were passed, cookies eaten and punch drunken, whispers of who liked whom, pretty much a normal Valentines Day except for that one thing. Of course, the other sixth and seventh graders had to do the same thing, so they weren’t the only ones that were a bit awkward.

The day ended, and everyone ran to the bus or began to walk home or wait for their rides as usual, except for their backpacks loaded with candy and Valentine’s. The bus left on time, taking everyone inside it along. Caleb watched it leave, still waiting for his older sister to come when a sharp cry interrupted his thoughts.

Turning around, he saw Bethany. A surprised look was on her face, and tears were starting to come out of her eyes. In her hands she held a Math book. Caleb blinked, hesitating before asking what was wrong.

Bethany took the bus. She had forgotten her math homework, and had run back to get it, but she had gotten stopped on the way back to class. Once she was able to get back on her way to get the book, the bus had already been leaving. Now she didn’t have a ride home for a couple of hours, her older brother was at his job, and so was her father. Her mother was probably still at hers, for sometimes Bethany didn’t see her until they had dinner. She explained that she lived a little ways out of town, and so she couldn’t walk.

Caleb listened to all she said, a thoughtful look on his face. As a car pulled up, he smiled lightly, remembering his sister was coming. “I can probably get my sister to give you a ride home… I’m sure she won’t mind. I’ll ask her, okay?”

Another car pulled up, and Caleb looked over at it. “That’s her,” he said, before running towards it. He returned a few minutes later, a smile on his face. “She’s giving you a ride,” he said. “Come on, its all right. Just tell her which way to go.”

Bethany nodded, and picked up her stuff once more. She walked quietly over to the car, and set her stuff inside. Caleb immediately began introducing them. “Bethany, this is my sister, Kaila. Kaila, this is the girl I was telling you I was paired up with, Bethany.” Words of greeting were exchanged as everyone put their seatbelts on, and then as the car started to go, Bethany started to give directions to her house. After awhile, she stopped them.

“Thanks, this is my house… I have to go now. Thank you so much for the ride…” Bethany said, her voice trailing off as her eyes swept over the yard. “Oh no! Peter!” She opened the door, and left her stuff in, bending down to pick up some gravel. She started to yell, running across the yard.

Caleb immediately saw what was going on. Two large strays were jumping up at a cage towards the right of the yard. Bethany was still yelling and throwing gravel at the dogs, but their attention wouldn’t stray from the object inside the cage. Caleb got out, and ran towards Bethany, picking up a medium sized rock as he went. When he was near enough, he threw it close enough to the dogs to know they were not wanted there, but far enough away it did not hurt them. With a surprised yelp, they ran off.

Breathing hard, Bethany opened up the cage and reached in. Carefully, so as not to get scratched, she pulled out a small rabbit and held him close to her. His fur was a fluffy, and a light dust color. He was shaking really hard, and Bethany ran her hand softly across his head, trying to soothe him. After a few minutes, she said, “His cage is ruined. But I think Peter is fine. Just a little scared, that’s all…”

Caleb nodded, breathing out in relief as he leaned forward slightly to examine the rabbit. “I think I have something that will work at one over at my house… for awhile at least. Its just a couple more houses away… right across from here, in fact.”

Bethany blinked. “Really?” she asked, smiling lightly.

“Really.” Caleb said, pausing before leaning forward slightly more, and kissing Bethany lightly on the lips. She gave a surprised gasp, causing Peter to squirm in her grasp. With a deep blush, Caleb headed back to the car to get Bethany’s stuff.

Sometimes, Boxed Valentines are the best Valentines.


Chocolate - Kurisutaru
Quote:
The rustle of valentines, the sight of those heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, and the sweet fragrance of flowers; those are the things that popped into Angela’s mind when she thought of Valentine’s Day. It was the day of romance and the day when secrets were revealed. One small problem…no secrets had revealed themselves to her, by secrets she meant no mysterious flowers for her, no notes, no secret admirer.

“Valentine’s Day and no secret admirer,” she grumbled to herself as she got ready for school. “What point is there in that?” She tugged her wool coat out of her closet and gave it a shake.

Pausing at the door of her room, Angela turned around to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything. Not seeing anything noticeably different in her messy room, she decided it was time to go downstairs to be ready for her ride. As she worked her way through the house, the aroma of coffee caught her attention. She frowned, coffee meant that her parents were home, and usually her parents had left for work by the time she left for school. She headed toward the kitchen, cautiously; she peeked into the large room.

“Angela, Happy Valentine’s Day!” Her mom cried handing Angela a gift bag with hearts on it.

“Thanks Mom!” Angela replied, without looking into the bag. Her mom really loved Valentine’s Day, she always gave everyone in the family a gift. In most cases it was some sort of holiday candy.

“Aren’t you going to open it Sweetheart?”

Angela checked her watch, “Sorry Mom, I’m running late!” She tossed the bag into her backpack before zipping it up. She only had a few minutes before her ride would come. Everyday her friend, Gabrielle’s mother gave Gabrielle, Danielle, and Angela a ride to school. Gabrielle’s mom was a teacher at the school, so it wasn’t out of her way. This had been a tradition since the girls were in elementary school. She glanced at her watch again, any minute now.


~*~


“Angela, Gabrielle, I have your Valentines!” Danielle told her friends, smiling happily. She reached into her backpack and pulled out two small packages and gave one to each of her friends. “I hope you like them!”
Angela stuck her present into her backpack, to say for later.
“Thanks Danielle!” Gabrielle murmured, and carefully opened her present. It was an Italian charm bracelet, with one charm on it. The charm said “best friends”. “Oh, Danielle, this is so nice of you,” she told the other girl, and she slid the bracelet on.

Danielle beamed at her friends. “Look, it matches mine!” She held out her own bracelet for inspection. “Now we all have matching bracelets.” She frowned, “Angela, aren’t you going to open yours?”

“I’ll open it later Danielle.” Angela replied, smiling at her friend. She opened her mouth to say something else, but Gabrielle interrupted.

“While we’re on the topic of presents, I have some for you two as well.” Gabrielle announced, as she handed each girl a small bag full of candies. “Enjoy!” She laughed as Danielle tore into the bag. Angela received her gift with a smile and a murmur of thanks, but put it with her other gifts, unopened. Danielle and Gabrielle exchanged looks.

As Angela went to put her backpack away, Danielle leaned over and spoke softly to Gabrielle. “She always acts like this on V-Day.”

“She thinks she needs a secret admirer or a special someone in order for Valentine’s Day to be worthwhile,” Gabrielle murmured back.

“Obviously we need to talk some sense into her,” Danielle said firmly, a sly smile on her face.

“Talk some sense into who?” Angela asked curiously as she returned.
“No one,” Gabrielle responded, absently tugging at her hair.

~*~

The day passed by quickly and to Angela’s disappointment nothing extraordinary happened. There weren’t any random confessions, no one left her flowers in her locker, and no one gave her an anonymous Valentine, not that she had really expected it. Idly she wondered just why it was so important to her, getting a secret admirer and everything.

“Angela, come on.” Danielle scolded. “You get like this every Valentine’s Day, relax, and enjoy the day for what it really is.”

Angela frowned at her friend. “What it really it is? Danielle, Valentine’s Day is about love and romance, valentines, and flowers. Isn’t it? What good is a day like today if you don’t get any of those things?” She asked her friends.

“Angela listen to yourself,” Gabrielle spoke suddenly. “What is Valentine’s Day? Valentine’s Day is a day to show people you care. It is a day to give gifts to others to show them just how much they mean to you. It is a chance to let them know that despite what they may believe there ARE those who care.”

‘That may be, but what did I get? Nothing,” Angela snapped.

“No,” Danielle began, “Think about it. What did you get? Did you get gifts? Who gave them to you? Did you even care to notice?” Danielle finished sounding a bit hurt.

Angela thought for a moment, her eyes widened slightly. She recalled her mom’s cheerful greeting that morning, the carefully bagged Valentine’s gift which was stuffed into her backpack, she hadn’t looked at it since. Then…her friends…her friends had given her gifts too. She hasn’t even given them a second thought, never even thought to open them or to think about how much they must have cared to do this…

“You see Angela, it isn’t about secret admirers or rose, Valentine’s Day is a day to hold those close to you a little bit closer. Remind your friends how much they mean to you, and appreciate everyone in your life. So you didn’t get a secret admirer or anything of that, but think of what you gained.” Gabrielle put her hand on Angela’s shoulder.

“I gained…” Angela repeated softly, “I gained the knowledge that people do care about me and that I care about them. I’m sorry guys; I really should have paid more attention to your gifts. Thank you! You guys are the best.” She smiled.

“So what does Valentine’s Day really mean?” Danielle coaxed in a teasing voice.

“Getting a secret admirer of course!” Angela replied matter-of-factly.

“Angela,” her friends groaned.

But Angela was opening her backpack. She reached in and picked out the present her mom had given her. Angela opened the bag and peered inside, “hey guys,” she grinned. “I think I finally know what Valentine’s Day is really about!”

“Oh?” Her friends asked in unison.

“Chocolate!”


ImageImage

TGSET: http://www.pinkpt.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=13685


Last edited by xjox on Sat Feb 19, 2005 12:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 12:09 pm 
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Jennifer Valentine - Lillie

Quote:
Jennifer Valentine.

She was, to Jason's mind, the most beautiful girl in the whole school. In a school of about a thousand students, that would be roughly five hundred girls. He pounded along the deserted hallways towards Jenn's form room. It was after school now. It wasn't bad to be prettier than four hundred and ninety-nine other girls, he thought. The best thing about it all was that Jennifer never seemed to know this. She acted like all the other girls -- no, she was better. General opinion was that Jennifer was a nice girl, with a sense of humour and a kind, sweet heart. No wonder so many boys had a crush on her.

He did too. He was even going to give her a Valentine. At least five other boys had given her valentines already and she had accepted them all with a laugh and good grace, but explained that she was not allowed to date by her parents. Everyone knew this, so it hadn't been a big deal and she was still friends with them. Jason hadn't been planning on giving her a card as he was afraid of rejection, but when Jennifer's best friend gave a knowing smile and said, "Why not?" he thought, "Why not indeed?" The card he had made was little more than a white piece of folded paper with a note scribbled inside in red ink. He had managed to nick the red pen off somebody. Now he was going to give this to Jennifer. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but he knew he wanted to do this very much. As he hurried along, he spotted Marion by her locker. Skidding to a halt, he changed directions and headed towards her.

"Have you seen Jennifer?" Jason asked Marion, who was looking through her locker for something. A loud rustling ensued and it seemed that Marion hadn't heard, as she increased her rummaging at a vigourous pace. "Marion!"

Without turning around, Marion practically stuck her head inside, still searching earnestly for whatever she was looking for. "Have you seen Jenn?" Jason asked again patiently. There was a pause and then Marion gave a muffled "No."

"Oh, alright then." He was about to turn and walk away when Marion posed a question. "Why are you looking for her anyway?"

A rosy smile broke across Jason's face. "I'm giving her a valentine."

Marion said nothing at first. She was looking at something near the back of her locker, and then she turned around to face him. Jason was taken aback; he took a slight step backwards. Marion's face and general apperance shocked him. She had glistening eyes and a white face, with two tiny, bright red spots on her cheekbones. He had never seen her like this before and he wondered if she was very ill, but before he could ask, she started hissing.

"It's always Jennifer this, Jennifer that," Marion snapped. "What is it about Jennifer that you keep going on and on about her? She's nothing special! She's not good enough for you! She'll reject you and hurt you, or she'll pretend to be your girlfriend and cheat on you! What is there to like about her?"

Jason coloured bright red himself. What right did Marion have to be so mean about his Jennifer? What right did she have to accuse her of all these things? He realised, with a start, that he had just thought of Jennifer as "his". Until now he had never thought he had been good enough for Jenn, but today he wanted to give it a shot anyway. Jenn was a nice girl; she wouldn't hurt his feelings. Now feeling guilty and embarrassed for having thought of her as his own, Jason turned quite purple with rage at himself and at Marion.

Struggling to control himself, he finally found his tongue. "You have no right to say any of that," he said in a low, cold tone. The red spots in Marion's cheeks began to subside and a look of guilt passed across her face. Without stopping to ask her how she was anymore, Jason spun around on his heel and walked rapidly away, intent on searching the rest of the school for Jennifer.

He was, essentially, walking out of Marion's life and friendship, and they both knew it. He was never going to be more than civil to her again, not after what she said about both him and Jennifer. He had never thought that Marion was like that.

Jennifer would never do that, Jason thought, Jennifer's too kind to say that.


Jennifer Valentine.

It was all her fault, Marion thought bitterly, as she slammed her locker door shut. All Jennifer Valentine's fault for breaking up the friendship that Marion and Jason had had. If Valentine had never come onto the scene, everything would be perfect between the two of them.

She scooped up her bag, having taken nothing from her locker as she hadn't been looking for anything except maybe a way out of this situation. She hadn't wanted Jason to see her cry. Well, he wasn't around now, so it would be alright to cry.

So she did.

With tears falling down her face, Marion ran out the back entrance to the school, cursing Jennifer all the way.

Marion had known Jason ever since kindergarten. They had been the best of friends, or as close as a boy and a girl can get without being teased by their other friends. They'd remained great friends all the way through the different years of school until now. They'd been there for each other through thick and thin, through the time that no one wanted to be friends with Marion because of a false rumour and the time that Jason had got so sick he couldn't go to school. They'd been the only ones there for each other. No one could understand Jason as well as she could, Marion knew. But Jason didn't seem to realise this.

Ever since Jennifer Valentine had come to town, Jason, as well as the rest of the boys in the year, had been besotted with the soft-spoken, fragile-looking girl. She hadn't received immediate attention, but somehow or other, she had rapidly become popular. Marion didn't even know what was so great about Valentine. She wasn't anything special, with brown hair and brown eyes, and a too frequent smile. Looks are deceiving, boys, Marion thought bitterly. She's nothing like the angel you think she is.

Marion knew that Jennifer wasn't what she seemed to be. She was an attention-seeking girl who happened to look good. Well, good for you Jenn! Marion yelled at her silently as she stormed across the car park. You've stolen countless girls' boyfriends! It was true that Jennifer had not actually dated anyone since everyone knew her parents wouldn't allow it, but it was also true that many boys had dumped their girlfriends, only to reveal later that they had a crush on Jennifer Valentine. Why, Jennifer had received ten valentines today. Ten! While Marion had received none.

But worst of all, Jason was in love with Jennifer. Marion didn't even know when the two had become friends, but it was probably Jennifer who had bemused the boy and cast a spell over him. Witch. Ever since then, Jason had been drifting farther away from Marion and closer to Jennifer. Now Jennifer had all the friends she could possibly want and Marion -- Marion had no one. The one person she really cared about was never going to be hers again. He was going to give Jennifer a valentine. Marion usually found a valentine from Jason in her locker, but she had checked it every breaktime today and found nothing. It was when Jason had told her that he was giving Jennifer a valentine that she understood: he had forgotten about her. She hated Jason for forgetting; he knew how much it hurt her that she never got a real Valentine. She didn't want Jennifer to take Jason away from her. She wanted to hurt him, because she had been hurt. But the person she really wanted to hurt was Jennifer, not Jason.

It was all Jennifer Valentine's fault.

I wish, Marion closed her eyes tightly, I wish Jennifer was dead.


Jennifer Valentine.


How she hated that name right now. When she was younger she really did hate it because people were always teasing her and making jokes about it. Worst of all was when Valentine's Day came around. It was the peak of teasing. She remembered how often she had cried when people had said, "Will you be my valentine? Oh, but you're already a Valentine! You don't need one!" It was only later that she had learned to forgive her father for having such a name. It was also around the time people had stopped teasing and started admiring the unique quality of the name.

Today was not one of those days. First of all, it was Valentine's Day. She had received twenty valentines, but none of them were from the one boy she really liked. Secondly:

"Jennifer Valentine, eh?" the examiner had winked at her. "Be my valentine?"

Of all things, to have the examiner ask you to be his valentine on the day of your driving exam. What were you supposed to say without offending him and thus failing the exam? Somehow or other, Jennifer had managed to wriggle her way out of this situation, but she did wish that examiners weren't so prone to asking awkward questions. She had passed, thankfully. Apart from receiving valentines, she had received many congratulations when she went back to school in the afternoon after the exam. It was a relief to have it over with, but she elected to walk home. She didn't feel like she could handle a car right now.

In her bag were all the gifts she had been given, carefully packed. It was nice to be cared for, she reflected. It was really a very lovely feeling. However, she knew that many girls had not been too happy about this, especially the one called Marion, who seemed to avoid her like the plague. Jennifer didn't understand what Marion had against her; she had never even spoken to her yet. She had once tried to, but Marion had walked right away before Jennifer had so much as opened her mouth. In the end, she had simply kept out of Marion's way so that Marion wouldn't have to trouble herself by taking detours all the time. All the same, Jennifer praised herself on the fact that she had managed to hide half of the valentines she had received. At least there would be less resentment.

Only I wouldn't mind in the least if all the other girls had these boys, Jennifer thought. I only want Jason's.

Jason was a wonderful friend. He was one of the first friends Jennifer had had when she first arrived in school, still timid and unsure of herself in a new place. Jason had taken her under his wing and looked after her, showing her around school so thoroughly that she knew her way around within a week. They had become fast friends and he was really one of the most wonderful guy friends she had. He was, to her mind, the best guy she had ever met.

And he didn't seem to care for her in any way other than as friends. Jennifer didn't dare jeopardise the relationship by telling Jason how she felt, as her new best friend had suggested her to. He might no longer want to be her friend and avoid her. She didn't think she could take it if he was going to avoid her.

I wish he wouldn't avoid me, she sighed as she headed towards the bus stop, and I wish he loved me.


Jennifer!
he thought, running towards the brown-haired girl. Having searched the whole school, he had not found her. Here she was.

He glanced quickly around the road -- no cars. He raced across. The girl turned around. It wasn't her. He stopped dead in his tracks.


Jennifer!

Did someone call me?
Jenn turned around, but saw nothing. She looked ahead and saw Jason running across the middle of the road. Her heart leaped when she saw him. He stopped suddenly and stood staring. Then her heart stopped too.

A car, evidently speeding.


Jennifer!

Wasn't that Jason? Marion's head jerked up. She had been walking in the park near the bus station when she thought she heard his voice.

She saw the car hit him. He fell. He didn't get up again.


Running towards him, the two girls had only one thought in their mind. "Jason!" Jennifer cried out, at the same time Marion did. Marion stopped, hearing Jennifer's voice. She found she could no longer move, even though she wanted to. Somehow, she knew it was no use her being there. Some pedestrians came running towards them, some of them calling for the ambulance on their mobile phones.

I didn't want to hurt you, I didn't want you to die, she thought wildly. It was supposed to be Jennifer, not you.


Jennifer slipped her hand around his. He was holding a note tightly in his hand. With the other hand, she extracted it and read it. It was addressed to her.

Dear Jennifer V,

Will you be my Valentine?


Jason

That was when Jennifer cried.


Later on, they found the note in his pocket.

Dear Marion,

I know you don't like Jenn, but I wish you would be friends. Happy Valentine's Day! I know someone who's dying to give you a valentine, but he's a wuss. Don't worry. I'll get him to send you one by next year!


Jason

That was when Marion cried.


Don't be my Valentine - Wind

Quote:
During the first half of February, as always, the students of Nolandia's high school lived in terror. The menacing shadow of Valentine's Day hung before them.
The morning of the 13th Marilyn, first cheerleader and head of the Fluffy Lovely Valentine's Day Squad, was in front of the school two hours before the start of the lessons, ready to check that everything was ok before the big day. She had golden curly hair and blue eyes, and was wearing a dress with puffy sleeves.
A small group of fluffy bunnies were distributing pink leaflets that smelled strongly of lavender and contained her instructions: wear pink, send at least three valentines to various people and attend to the ball.
Other bunnies were decorating the corridors and the classrooms. Even the headmistress didn't say anything when a couple of bunnies covered her desktop with pink flowers and hung a huge heart-shaped sign saying "Happy Valentine's Day" on the wall, covering an award won by a brilliant pupil. She was scared.
Everyone was scared of the fluffy bunnies.
Since two years ago, when Marilyn had first arrived in Nolandia and with the help of the fluffy bunnies had gained the control of Valentine's Day and founded the Fluffy Lovely Valentine's Day Squad, everyone feared them.
Some students had tried fighting them, but the rebellion didn't last long. The fluffy bunnies didn't forgive betrayal.
So the students decided that, after all, Valentine's Day wasn't so bad. It happened only once a year, and after midnight the fluffy bunnies would disappear to come back next year with a fresh supply of flowers, chocolate and death.
That year nobody had died yet, but it was only a matter of time...

Marilyn stopped yelling at a girl about a spelling mistake in her valentine and strode towards Jack, who had just arrived.
"John!" she cried.
"It's Jack," he replied mechanically.
"All the same! You haven't given me your valentines for spell checking yet, and they were due for yesterday afternoon!"
"I've been busy..." he began, but Marilyn interrupted him.
"Me and the fluffy bunnies are getting tired, Josh! You'll write the valentines now! And I still need to know who you're going to the ball with!"
"It's Jack," he muttered, "And I don't go to the ball with anyone."
Marilyn whacked him on the head with a heart-shaped hammer.
"You have to! It's mandatory!" she cried again.
She gestured to a fluffy bunny who brought her several sheets of paper.
"You'll go to the ball with Will!" she declared.
"Will?" repeated Jack wearily, but Marilyn had already walked away to yell at someone else. Halfway down the corridor she turned and cried, "Remember the valentines!"
A fluffy bunny gave Jack a slip of paper with "Will, In Front Of The Science Classroom Now" written in a curly font.
The boy didn't ask how the bunny knew where Will was. He didn't want to find out.

As it turned out, Will was a girl. A short girl with round glasses and short chestnut hair, who was trying to rub a yellowish stain off her sleeve.
"You go to the ball with me," he announced.
"Wha...?" she replied.
"The ball, tomorrow night. Or the bunnies will get you."
She looked at him.
"I had hoped I managed to go alone..." she muttered, half to herself. "You'll just have to do."
"Do what?" asked Jack.
"See me in front of the cinema after school," she said.
After she'd gone, Jack thought about that for a while. Girls! At least this one didn't command an army of deadly fluffy bunnies, so he didn't have to do what she said.
But he was curious, so he met her in front of the cinema after school.

Will looked around to check that nobody had followed them, but Marilyn and the fluffy bunnies were busy decorating the gym for the ball.
"Listen," she said in a conspiratorial whisper, "I've got a plan!"
"A plan? For what?"
"To get rid of Marilyn," she said with a gleam in her eyes.
Jack took a step backward.
"No way! You'll get the fluffy bunnies against us!"
"That's my point. Whoever has got the control of the bunnies, has got the power."
"What are you going to do? Buy a dozen of bunnies and teach them karate?"
She opened her bag and showed him some bottles that contained an orange liquid.
"I created this myself," she explained proudly.
Jack gave her a puzzled look.
"It's no use telling you the details because you're too dumb..."
"Thank you..."
"...But the plan is simple: we'll mix this with the papaya juice at the ball, and as soon as the fluffy bunnies drink it they'll obey to us!"
"Papaya juice?"
"Yes, I didn't manage to make it transparent and the papaya juice is nearly the same colour," explained Will.
"That's not my point. How are you going to make the fluffy bunnies drink it? I've never seen them eating or drinking anything..."
They looked at each other for a while.
"Whoops," said Will.
"It was a good idea, really. But since it wouldn't work, let's just go to the ball, and tomorrow everything will be finished."
"Wait, I've got another idea!"

Jack looked at his Valentine's Day lunch. It was chocolate, chocolate and chocolate.
"It's a stupid idea," he muttered.
Will kicked him under the table to make him shut up.

The gym was packed with nervous-looking students who kept glancing at their watches. Still a few hours and the nightmare would finish, but those hours were the worst ones. You could make mistakes easily, and the fluffy bunnies didn't like mistakes.
Marilyn, wearing a pink dress that made her look like a trembling jelly, was passing among the students to check that everything was perfect.
Other bunnies guarded the exits looking more fluffy and menacing than ever.
A fluffy bunny tugged Marilyn's skirt and gave her a note.
"Late!" she cried. "They'll hear me..."
The doors of the gym burst open, and Will and Jack stood in the doorway.
"It's a stupid idea, you'll have us get killed, you idiot!" he screamed.
"Shut up and fire!" she replied, aiming for the nearest fluffy bunny.
From her water pistol came a jet of juice that hit the fluffy bunny's face.
"What are you trying to do?" screamed Marilyn, red with anger.
"Get her," said Will to the soaked bunny. "Get Marilyn!"
The fluffy bunnies started walking towards Will and Jack.
"Keep firing..."
"Your brilliant plain didn't work!"
"Oh no," said Will. "I just realized. I filled the guns with papaya juice instead than my mixture..."
"Now what?"
"Run!"
They turned and tried to escape, but the fluffy bunnies were faster and jumped on them...

"I don't want to die," said Jack.
"Hey, we're not dead. You can open your eyes now," said Will.
Jack sat up and looked at the scene. The fluffy bunnies around him were drinking papaya juice, others looked at Marilyn with a menacing air.
"They like papaya juice?" he said with a disgusted tone of voice. "Yuck!"
"Poor things, Marilyn gave them only chocolate and they didn't like it..." Will replied, patting a fluffy bunny on the head.
She jumped on the buffet table and cried, "Papaya juice for everyone!"
The fluffy bunnies cheered, and Marilyn realized she'd lost.
"I'll be back," she called, and ran for it.

The ball continued with less pink but more happiness. They took every heart-shaped thing in the room and dumped it in the garbage, then a professor ordered chips, coke and papaya juice.
"Long live the papaya and the fluffy bunnies," said Will raising her glass to Jack.
"Listen... uh... I was wondering..."
"Yes?"
"What are you going to do with them?"
Will looked around. Some fluffy bunnies were sleeping, one was drunk. How can you get drunk with papaya juice?
"I admit that I'm tempted to keep them..." she began.
Jack shuddered.
"...But I'm not going to. Who knows, maybe there's something they like more than papaya juice. And being Fluffy Bunnies Ruler isn't a relaxing job. I'll send them back to wherever they came from, with a good supply of papaya juice."
"Ok then," he said, but he didn't move. "Listen," he said after a while, "Even if it's Valentine's Day and we saved the school together and all... kissing at the end is not mandatory, right?"
"No, I don't think it is."
"Good."
"Good."
There was a pause. Then Jack gestured towards the center of the gym. "Do you..."
"Sure," she smiled, and they started dancing.


Happy Valentines! - maniac

Quote:
Alice woke up bright and early, with the birds singing outside and the sunshine streaming in through the window.
“Rise and shine darling!”
So Alice got up and went down for breakfast, it was a Saturday and so she was glad that there was no school! The letterbox clanged – the post had arrived. As Alice walked down the hall to collect the post her mum creeped up to her and slipped her a pink envelope.
“Pop this in for your dad, ok darling?” Alice noticed another pink envelope and another large red one as she picked up the post.
“Of course! It’s Valentines Day today!” Alice remembered as she examined the identical pink envelopes – one addressed to her mum, another for her dad – and grinned to herself.
As she sat down to her boiled egg, Alice sorted the post into piles and found to her surprise that the large red envelope was for her!!
“Good morning sweetie!! Happy Valentines Day James!!” Alice’s mum came in with a big smile on her face and gave James (Alice’s dad) a big hug and a kiss.
“Thanks honey.”

Alice decided to leave the m to it and slipped upstairs to open her envelope, it read:

“ Dear Alice,

‘Your lips are as red as the reddest rose,
You’re eyes are as brown as chocolate.
You’re sweeter than honey, I love you to bits…..

Will you be my Valentine?’

Love,
Me.

Meet me tonight at the cinema. 7.00pm with a red shirt.
xxxxXxxxxx”

Alice was astonished. She had no idea she had a secret admirer. None of the boys had ever flirted with her, like they did the other girls. Alice was really unsure about the whole thing – it could easily be someone playing a mean, nasty trick on her. But on the other hand, she was very curious to see who her admirer was. Still undecided, Alice called her best friend Grace.

“Hello Grace! It’s me, Alice.”
“Oh hiya! What’s the matter?”
“Well, you’ll never guess what – but I got a valentine this morning!”
“Cool! I got one from Ben, it’s so sweet. He’s taking me out tomorrow because he’s working tonight, but it’s a surprise – I don’t know where were going!”
“Wow, that sounds great … wish I had a boyfriend like Ben.”
“So what’s bothering you with this valentine?”
“He’s asked me to meet him at the cinema tonight.”
“So, what’s wrong? Go for it!”
“Yes, but I’m worried – what if it’s all some big joke and some of the guys will be there laughing at me if I turn up believing the valentine.”
“Aww, don’t be silly honey!”
“But none of the guys at school like me! Or at least they’ve never hinted anything…”
“That’s what Valentines Day is all about. Look do you want me to go with you? I’m not doing anything tonight.”
“Thank you! I hoped you’d say that! It says in the card meet me at 7. Is that ok?”
“Yes, we’ll go ten to, if you like. Ok, see you then.”
“Bye!”
“Bye!”

Later that night Alice was getting ready to go out. She wore her favourite denim skirt and a red top with a new cream jacket she had just bought. The cinema was just down her street so when Grace arrived they could just walk down. And the doorbell rang just as she was running down the stairs with her left boot on and her right one tripping her up.
She and Grace stepped out of the house at 6.45pm and were at the cinema at 6.50 – early enough to start hunting around for any boys wearing red shirts. There were plenty, but all of them Alice didn’t recognise. Alice and Grace had both bought tickets for the film, and just as they thought they’d have to go in Grace caught sight of Gareth. Wearing a shirt, only to be described as crimson, the boy Alice had liked very much for two years, known since primary and was recently without a girlfriend. Grace nudged Alice and Alice gasped.
Just then Gareth saw them both and came over.
“You look nice Alice.” He smiled and Alice blushed,
“Thanks! Shall we go through?” Then Alice remembered Grace and glanced at her, but she was staring across the room at the entrance where Ben was standing, with a big bunch of flowers and a box of popcorn. He ran over to them.
“Hi gorgeous! Your parents told me you’d me here. I got off work so I thought I’d join you!”

Alice and Gareth walked in side by side, followed by Grace and Ben, hand in hand.

And a happy Valentines Day was had by all!


No Title - Urthdigger

Quote:
Tim waited outside the shop, waiting patiently for the next ship. All he wanted was to give someone a card for Valentine’s Day, but all the stores were sold out. He stared down at his watch as he counted down until when the store manager said the new cards would be in “5…4…3…” Just then, a loud rumble could be heard. Earthquake? Stampede? The second one was close. A horde of people rushed toward the door as Tim frantically tried to open the door in panic. He was pushed out of the way and trampled as the shoppers ran into the store, bought up all the cards, and left. All Tim got was a bloody nose and a busted lip “Only in Neopia…” muttered Tim.
Tim relaxed at a nearby diner, and talked to his brother Tom “I just don’t get it.” He said, “It’s just a card. One measly card, yet people are selling it for outrageous prices. The only reason they can get away with this is because they buy them all so fast. This sort of thing should be illegal.” Tom tried to calm him down “The problem is it’s not illegal. As long as people will buy, they can sell them. There’s really nothing we can do.” Tim got up and paid for his lunch, going back to the shop to try again.
Once again, the shoppers stormed in before Tim could even get his foot inside the door, and once again, Tim found himself waiting outside for the next shipment. It was then that he noticed the truck pulling up back and got an idea. It was exactly nice, but at this moment, it wasn’t just about the card. It was about fighting for the poor people of Neopia, those that had to settle for less in everything because of the greed of others. He crept up to the delivery van, trying his best to hide in the shadows. The back of the van was open, and inside were boxes and boxes of valentines. He was shaking from the excitement. He could send a few out, and give the rest to the poor “Or sell them and get rich!” spoke a dark thought in the back of his mind. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and proceeded to the van. While he was just inches away, he felt his shirt grow tight and the ground fell away from his feet. “And just where do you think you’re going?” said the security officer “You weren’t planning on stealing, were you?” Tim tried to answer, but the words wouldn’t come out. He’d been caught, plain and simple. After being unceremoniously tossed from the alley, he went back to the front of the shop to wait.
The thought of theft was still fresh on his mind, and he wasn’t about to be beaten to the door again. He went into the shop, being careful to look like he was browsing, and looked for possible ways in. The supply room was in the back, securely locked. There were a few ventilation ducts around the room, but all were one foot tall and two feet wide, a bit too much of a tight squeeze. He shrugged and decided to try the roof.
The shop next to the gift shop had an escape ladder running up the side, and now that he was on top of it he could see his entrance. A stairway could be seen on top of the roof, probably for air deliveries, and it looked like it was right above the supply room. Tim looked at the gap between the buildings. It looked to be about five feet wide. He was one story up, so the fall wasn’t likely to injure him if he missed the jump, but he wasn’t sure if that guard might be poking around down there. Tim stepped back a few feet, ran for the gap and leaped. He had jumped a bit early to clear the raised edge on the roof, and was having second doubts about if he’d make it, but still managed to grab on. He heard something begin to snap, and suddenly found himself on top of the roof. He looked at where he had been holding onto just seconds before, now just a hole in the edge. A part of him wanted to remember how he managed to pull himself up so fast, but was quickly drowned out by the part of him running to the door of the stairway. The door was unlocked. “Heehee, this is my lucky day!” he chuckled to himself. He waited until he heard the van drive away, then checked his watch “Ok, 3 minutes to get down there and grab the cards before they go on sale. Plenty of time.” He ran down the stairs, regretting not having a flashlight as the door closed at the top. His watch had a light function so he could tell time in the dark, and while he couldn’t see much, it was better than nothing. He reached the bottom and checked the door there. Unlocked. “Too easy…” he muttered to himself. Once inside the supply room, he ripped open one of the boxes and began stuffing his pockets with cards, even stuffing a few up his sleeves for good measure. Smiling to himself, he tried to open the door to the stairs. It was locked. He tried the back door. Also locked. He didn’t dare try the door to the main store, but had a feeling that too, was locked. He felt trapped and scared. It was one thing to be caught sneaking up to a van, but quite another to be caught in the room with half a box of cards in his possession. Tim searched the room for some way out, and came up with a paper clip, a rubber band, and a scrap of paper. He discarded the rubber band and paper and began trying to pick the lock on the back door. After 2 minutes of this, he realized his lock picking skills were more horrible than he could ever imagine. He could hear the store owner approaching, his time was running. Quickly, Tim thought of a plan. He stuffed all the cards he had back in the box, and sealed it back up as best he could. As the door opened, he ran up to it “Thank goodness you’re here, the other delivery guys locked me in here!” he said. He walked out into the store, and waited for the cards to go on the shelf. Right as they did, he blinked… and they were gone. They had beaten him again. He decided to go back to the diner, it was getting late and he needed something to eat.
“YOU DID WHAT!?” asked Tom. Tim had told him what happened, down to every last detail. “I can’t believe you would be so thoughtless as to try to steal from the store! What if you had gotten caught? You could have been frozen, or worse. Look, why don’t we go back to the store, and this time I’ll help you get one.”
It was close to midnight, and Valentine’s Day was almost over. The last shipment of the year was coming in, and it was for this moment that Tim prepared himself. The boxes were coming in, and Tim rushed at the door, turning the handle and pushing it open in one solid motion. Tom duct-taped a length of twine across the door and stepped back. Tim never knew about that, he just sprinted toward the shelves. Everything appeared to go in slow motion, and he could swear he heard Chariots of Fire playing over the radio. He grabbed a card, slapped down the money, and finally relaxed. As he stepped over the pile of people collapsed at the door, Tom patted him on the back “Good for you.”
Tim sat at home for a few minutes, the valentine sitting in front of him. This little card is what he spent so much time working for, and now what was he going to do with it? More and more he felt like selling it, to stop being poor and get all the things he wanted, but he remembered why he wanted to get one in the first place, to brighten up the day of one of his friends. He opened up the card and wrote the following inside “Dear Bonnie: True friends are those that will go through hell and high water for each other, even if they know it won’t be appreciated. Thanks for all your help over the years.”


The Perfect Valentine Cards - watericesage
Quote:
Lora sat down at her desk. The surface of the desk was cluttered with supplies, construction paper, scissors, glue, pencils, pens and markers. All the essential supplies for making the perfect Valentine cards! (In her mind anyways)
Lora wasn’t particularly good at crafts and drawing, her Mother’s Day card was a complete mess. Lora’s mother almost thought she had meant to do a collage. Lora didn’t mind, she had always thought that it was the thought that counts, even if the cards weren’t perfect.
Lora glanced out the large window on the right wall to her desk, it was a wonderful day outside. Lora wished she had made the cards beforehand, and had not procrastinated until the last minute. Lora sighed and reminded herself that she will get the cards done before she could go outside and play.
Lora took a piece of pink construction paper, and tried to sketch a heart on it with a pencil. The result was an oddly irregular shape slightly resembling the letter B. Lora sighed, it was going to take a while.
After many, many tries, Lora had finally gotten a good heart shape down. Lora quickly glanced at the digital clock on her bedside table, she was surprised at how long that had took her.
Lora cut her paper heart out with great care, trying not to ruin the shape she had took so long to make. That heart was to be a “template”, she decided, for future cards to come.
Lora spent a while cutting away at the construction paper, her desk was now practically buried under a collection of different colored paper. Lora didn’t stop until she was happy with the amount she has, 12, one for each of her dearest friends and family. She wondered what to put on them, a few ideas popped into her head, but she decided to go with the most practical and realistic one. She made a mistake by trying to do something real fancy for her Mother’s Day card, she isn’t going to make it again.
A simple message written on a smaller, pink heart, was in the center of Lora’s Valentines card for Sheila, a friend of hers. It was also decorated by many festive little circles here and there. A sprinkle of sparkles completed this, (again, in her mind) masterpiece.
She did the same design for all of her friends, but switching the color of sparkles to their favorite color. Lora hoped they would notice this detail. She wrote a special message for each of them, she wasn’t that good with words either. A choppy Valentines message centered each card, still, it’s the thought that counts… right?
Lora had finished the cards for her friends just as the afternoon was starting to fade into night. She looked outside, its too late for her to catch a game of soccer with her friends now, might as well finish her cards. She only had two left anyways.
Lora decided to do a slightly “different” design for her parents, a indigo heart was cut out and glued onto the remaining red hearts. In big, bold letters she wrote on the indigo heart, “To the greatest parents ever!” Many irregular yellow stars were cut out and scattered around the blue heart. She wrote a short, cute message for both of them.
“Lora!” Lora’s mother, Lucile, called. “Dinner time!”
“Already?” Lora called back. She didn’t realize so much time has gone by, she put the finished cards in her desk, quickly cleaned up her mess, and went downstairs for dinner.

Lora awoke early, she slammed her ringing alarm clock sleepily. She sat up slightly, rubbed her eyes, and realized it was Valentines Day.
Lora put on a pair of navy jeans and a light pink sweater. She reached into her desk and got out the Valentine Cards. She tip-toed over to her parent’s room, peeked inside to make sure they weren’t awake, and quietly pushed open the door. There was a table right beside the entrance to the room, she placed the cards on the table, went back to her own room and put on her backpack. She walked over to the living room and opened the door to outside.
The chilly February morning air embraced her as she walked across her yard. Despite the sweater, the cold was still finding its way through to her skin. Lora rubbed her hands together to warm herself up, and then started a jog towards school.
Lora got to school a good hour before it starts, she wanted to make sure none of her friends are there already. Well, she was the only person there besides a few of the teachers, Lora decided she was a tad too early.
Lora knew all her friends’ lockers by heart, she dashed down the halls of her school slipping the cards in here and there.
People started arriving by the time she was done sending the cards, among the people was one of her best friends, Sheila. Sheila ran towards her, greeting her with a much too tight hug. They both started chattering about this and that while walking to Sheila’s locker. They still had about 45 minutes before school starts, they decided to check over their answers for their latest math homework.
Sheila put her backpack in her locker then noticed Lora’s card. A smile crept across Sheila’s face while she was reading it. Lora then backed away, then started to run before Sheila hugs her again.
Lora sat down in the library, checking over her math answers. There she sat, for a good time before she was done, just as she was about to get up and leave, her friends found her.
They had each received their card, and they each had something for Lora! Some had cards for Lora, some had candy, and some had both! Actually, they had presents for each other too, it was like a mini gift exchange in the Library.
The bell rang, it was time to get to their classes. They all said thanks to each other and hurried to their classes. Lora ran towards her classroom and thought, “They were the perfect Valentine Cards after all.”


Johnny's Valentine's Day Story - hellyer
Quote:
Johnny moaned loudly as he slapped at his alarm clock. He took a few minutes to adjust to the morning light before sitting up in his bed. And as he looked longingly at the rain outside, hoping that today would be different than every other day, he sighed and got out of bed.

Johnny had especially high hopes for today. He was usually an optimist, but occasionally memories of previous personal experiences damped his high spirits. But for today, Johnny let himself bask in the glory of his high hopes.

You see, today was no ordinary day. Oh no, today was special. Today was Valentine’s Day, the day of love, passion and everything else associated with a secret crush. Well, at least that’s how Johnny sees it. Since his first day at high school, Johnny has had a secret crush. Everyday he hopes to talk to her.

He’s now in his second year of high school, but has never talked to her before. It’s not that he’s a loser, or that she’s too cool, it’s just like there’s this mental barrier stopping him from going up and talking to her. Anyway, we are getting off track from the point of this story.

After getting dressed in what he thought was his coolest clothes, Johnny caught the bus to school and met up with his mates before class. His best mate, Tim, was very down. He hated Valentine’s Day and thought it was a stupid commercialized holiday, an opinion which he was showing in full force, sporting a t-shirt that read:

Valentine’s Day
Don’t Buy Into It

Johnny and Tim had a whole argument (the same one as the previous year) on the merits of the day, but in the end, Johnny let Tim win. He wasn’t about to be distracted from what he imagined as his ‘day of fate’ with the girl of his dreams. All his friends laughed at this, but again, Johnny didn’t care.

His first class was English. It was so hot he couldn’t concentrate, his mind was on Mandy anyway. All the spinning fans were going full force but it was still boiling. Then, in a freak accident, Timmy (the school bully) threw a rock at the fan, it broke off, and landed on Johnny. Well, I guess his Valentine’s Day story ends here.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2005 1:20 am 
Beyond Godly
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Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 3:43 am
Location: Set by me.
I really don't think I can participate this round...too hectic of a week, by far. Is there any way I can start on Round Two?


Mas mothaionn tu fein mar rud eigin caite ar an dtra...
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Lig dom goideail an croi duit...


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2005 1:27 am 
PPT God
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Location: Set by DM was on Fire! 2nd place in my set contest.:)
.:Requiem:. wrote:
I really don't think I can participate this round...too hectic of a week, by far. Is there any way I can start on Round Two?


Chapter one has finished now anyway, we are just waiting for the critics to review. Chapter two will start on Monday and will finish on Friday. Do you think you will be able to participate?


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2005 3:05 pm 
PPT Trainee
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Location: LOST on an island...with Josh Holloway
Are the ratings going up today?

And just a reminder, i won't be able to judge next week!


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Thx Maniac!


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2005 6:09 pm 
PPT Warrior
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Location: UK ~*~ mismatched set... Av by mazil!
livin_in_the_shadow wrote:
Are the ratings going up today?


:D go on xjox... you like suspense don't you? :P



I want ma rating! ^.^


Want Neopets goodies for FREE????!!??!! Sure you do! Check out this thread: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=38039 :D

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2005 6:36 pm 
PPT God
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Location: Set by DM was on Fire! 2nd place in my set contest.:)
Before I start the reviews, I have been asked to thank you all for writing such great stories. Myself and the critics have really enjoyed reading them all and I'm amazed at how many good story tellers there are on PPT!

I have also been asked to remind some of you to proof read your stories. Although no one has been marked down because of typos and the like, in future rounds the competition will get fiercer and that may be the only thing that causes you to be eliminated. Personally I find that reading stories aloud helps you to pick up on things that you may miss by reading in your head.

I would also, just to drag this on :P, like to say a huge WOW to the judges, I'm mightily impressed. Within 4 hours of me pming them, I had 4 sets of reviews back. That's why I'm putting the reviews up early and will be able to get Chapter Two up later today, which will give you an extra day to write it.

Finally here are the Reviews:

Jabond - School Bus
We are quite divided on this story. Some of the critics liked that you tried to base your story on real life, while others felt that it detracted from what could have been a good story. We all seem to agree though that parts of your story were confusing and think that you would have done well to think your story through more before writing it. You managed to work in all of the requirements though and you brought your main characters to life.

We liked: The general plot idea and your characters.
You need to work on: The confusing dialogue and the overall messiness of your sentences, this is what mainly put the critics off.

Ratings:
everconfused - 1/10
livin_in_the_shadow - 7.5/10
Qanda - 5/10
o_0 - 6/10
warxelo - 7/10
xjox - 5/10
Total - 31.5/60

Star-Crossed Lovers - Matt
The majority of the critics liked your story and found it to be well written and very descriptive. You brought your characters to life and made them very believable. However, parts of your story were slightly confusing and we feel that the ending could have been better.

We liked: Your writing, it's very mature and descriptive. The idea was a good one and fitted in well with the requirements.
You need to work on: Your endings this is the last thing we remember about your story so make it good! Clarity, some parts were confusing and it ruins a good story if the reader is having to try and work out what is happening.

Ratings:
everconfused - 2/10
livin_in_the_shadow - 8/10
Qanda - 7/10
o_0 - 10/10
Warxelo - 8/10
xjox - 8/10
Total: 43/60

Boxed Valentine - Twizzler0171
We are all in agreement that we like your story. The characters were well thought out and very believable, and you obviously put alot of effort into writing this. Your writing was very good and the story was clear. Overall we felt it was a very good piece of work and fitted the requirements. The only complaint some of us had was that it wasn't entirely original and perhaps a couple more plot twists would have made this story stand out more.

We liked: Your writing, it was written well and was easy to read. We liked the main plot and it was definately a lovely story.
You need to work on: Make your stories stand out, in later stages of the competition this is something the critics will be looking for.

Ratings:
everconfused: 10/10
livin_in_the_shadow: 8/10
Qanda - 7/10
o_0 - 9/10
warxelo - 10/10
xjox - 8/10
Total: 52/60

Chocolate - Kurisutaru
We all loved the message behind your story and the fact that you chose to approach the Valentines theme in a different way. We could identify with the characters and at times it felt like we could hear the girls talking. It is a completely believable story and you wrote it really well.

We liked: Pretty much everything from the characters to the way you wrote the plot! Great job!:)
You need to work on: Well the only complaint I heard from the Critcs was about the title. It seemed to fit in with the ending more than the actual story.

Ratings:
everconfused - 8/10
livin_in_the_shadow - 8.5/10
Qanda - 9/10
o_0 - 9/10
warxelo - 10/10
xjox - 8/10
Total - 52.5/60

Jennifer Valentine - Lillie
Wow, is what a lot of the critics had to say. Everyone agrees that this is a great story and you wrote it out extremely well. We identified with the characters and you expressed their emotions well. The story was very believable and the way you wrote it, from 3 peoples points of view and with the mini chapters it really stood out.

We liked: Again we pretty much liked everything about it. It was a well thought out story and the effort you put into it has shown through.
You need to work on: Yet again the only complaints I heard were about the title, the story seems to centre more around Jason rather than Jennifer. Also the ending seemed a little abrupt and left a couple of questions unanswered for a couple of the critics.

Ratings:
everconfused - 9.5/10
livin_in_the_shadow - 9/10
Qanda - 8/10
o_0 - 10/10
warxelo - 10/10
xjox - 9/10
Total - 55.5/60

Don't be my Valentine - Wind
You made us all laugh, we loved the comedy in your story. Without a doubt this is a highly original story and stood out from the rest. Putting the comedy to one side and we were left with a very good story well written, well thought out and had great plot and character development. A little more excitement wouldn't go amiss but over all, great job!

We liked: The laughs! The way your story stood out, you didn't follow the traditional Valentines day theme but instead made the story unique.
You need to work on: Not much really! You are obviously gifted at making people laugh, we would perhaps like to see a little more excitement.

Ratings:
everconfused - 10/10
livin_in_the_shadow - 8/10
Qanda - 8/10
o_0 - 10/10
warxelo - 8/10
xjox - 9/10
Total - 53/60

Happy Valentines! - maniac
You admitted you rushed this story and a couple of the critics picked up on that. The plot could have lead to a very interesting story but we feel that you let yourself down a little with the rushed descriptions of the characters. It was a short but sweet story and we did enjoy it, but with adding a little more to your descriptions it would have fared better with some of the critics. The plot was also a little thin and you could have quite easily added a couple of twists to hold the readers interest.

We liked: The story line as a whole, it fitted in well with the requirements. The potential, what you did write was written very well, we can't wait to see what you can come up with given more time to work on it!
You need to work on: The plot, it was a little bland and adding some twists would have made it stand out more. Your descriptions, when reading a story we want to identify with the characters, a good writer makes us feel that we know the characters in a story and therefore we share their joy and cry their tears.

Ratings:
everconfused - 9.5/10
livin_in_the_shadow - 7.5/10
Qanda - 6/10
o_0 - 8/10
warxelo - 8/10
xjox - 7/10
Total - 46/60

No Title - Urthdigger
We all loved that you centred your story around restocking in Neopia. You were the only person to use Neopia as the setting, so your story stood out. It was a little difficult to read though as there was no visible space between the paragraphs. You managed to get Tims emotions through well but we would have liked to have seen a little more description of your other characters. Overall, a very good and highly original story that was well written.

We liked: The originality, it was something that all of the critics pointed out. The way you made us identify with Tim, we were all rooting for him to get that card!
You need to work on: Making your story easier to read, define between paragraphs and avoid clumping it all together in one huge block of text. Describing your side characters, we knew nothing about Bonnie until the very end of the story.

Ratings:
everconfused - 8/10
Living_in_the_shadow - 7.5/10
Qanda - 8/10
o_0 - 9/10
warxelo - 8/10
xjox - 7/10
Total - 47/60

The Perfect Valentine Cards - watericesage
You used great detail and it was a lovely story. We enjoyed the way you wrote it and the angle you decided to take. We liked your main character Lora but felt that you could have spent a little more time talking about her friends too.

We liked: The superb details, and the thought behind the story. It brings to mind the phrase "its the thought that counts"
You need to work on: Your side characters, there really wasn't all that much mentioned of them and it would have been nice to add a little background to the story. You also seemed to use Lora's name rather alot, in nearly every sentence at the beginning, it interrupts the flow of the story when it is repeated so much.

Ratings:
everconfused - 6/10
livin_in_the_shadow - 8/10
Qanda - 6/10
o_0 - 9/10
warxelo - 9/10
xjox - 6/10
Total - 44/60

Johnny's Valentine's Day Story - hellyer
You had a great start and your story looked promising but you admitted you rushed the ending, and it showed! We would like to see what you can do given the time to complete your story. (oh and there was one rather strange critic, I mention no names :P who actually rather liked your ending!)

We liked: The beginning, it showed real promise.
You need to work on: Finishing your story. You were a later starter in the contest so didn't have as much time as the other contestants, but in chapter two someone will be eliminated so you need to work hard to make sure that isn't you.

Ratings:
everconfused - 2/10
livin_in_the_shadow - 6/10
Qanda - 2/10
o_0 - 7/10
warxelo - 6/10
xjox - 4/10
Total - 27/60

By my calculations, (and they could be wrong, I only have so many fingers ya know :P)

Lillie's story was rated the highest

and

hellyer's story was rated the lowest

Which means Lillie, your story will be in the next edition of the Pink Ink, well done!:)

And hellyer, You have a warning. Don't let it happen again!:P

Critics please feel free to offer any personal advice you may have for the contestants.

Expect Chapter Two up later today.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2005 6:39 pm 
PPT God
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Thanks for the advice, I will help it in my story next round so it is not as bad.


ImageImage19 Points!


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2005 7:06 pm 
PPT Trainee
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Location: LOST on an island...with Josh Holloway
I would just like to say congratulation to everyone on writing thoese stories!

I would suggest though that mostly everyone take a little lesson on paragraphing.

You are supposed to start a new paragraph when a idea begins or a new character is talking. Most of you suffered on the second one. Here is proper paragraping:

"Hello!" said Jessica.
"How are you?" replied Melissa
"I'm..." Jessica paused, "ok"
"Just ok?" questioned Melissa.

Intead of...

"Hello!" said Jessica. "How are you?" replied Melissa. "I'm..." Jessica paused, "ok". "Just ok?" questioned Melissa.

But besides that everyone did great! Congrats Lillie on getting in Pink Ink!


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Thx Maniac!


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2005 7:09 pm 
PPT God
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Location: Shenkuu
I want to thank the judges for taking the time to read my story. :) I' tried to make my story a bit different. I always seem to have trouble with my titles, but I'll try to make my titles appropriate for the whole story, rather than the ending next time. :) Thanks again!

Also congrats to Lillie for getting in the Pink Ink! :)


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Set by Moogie


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