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 Post subject: Lutari story
PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 5:56 am 
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I've been thinking about writing a story for the NT. However I've never really gotten around to it, until today. I've started writing a story, based around the newest species, the otter-like Lutari.

Here's what I have so far (it's not very much)...

Sorinarya shielded her eyes from the blinding midday sun that glared in her eyes, she rolled over onto her belly and peered over the edge of the warm rock she was lying on. Her father was calling her, even though she could not hear him, she could see him waving his paw angrily for her to come down off the rock she had been basking on. She groaned lightly and with a slight shuffle from her back legs, slid cleanly off the rock to land in the crystal clear water of the lagoon her tribe was resting at. Her sleek body moved agilely through the lagoon and she soon climbed out onto the sandy beach where her father had been waiting for her.

Commander Thoronel of the Gakla frowned down at his daughter, his eyes looking at her golden fur which was now caked with sand and mud from her swim. His wife, and her mother, Thorondil of the Poyla came over to the two and folded her arms at the sight of her daughter. “Sorinarya, how many times have we told you? You are not allowed to go swimming in that filthy water! Just look at your lovely fur now!” Thorondil shook her head, sighing exasperatedly. Sorinarya pouted, “But mother, that water wasn’t dirty at all! It was clean and fresh and…” Her mother fixed her with a harsh stare, “No arguing daughter, you are not allowed to swim in any more lagoons, or rivers, or ponds and you especially aren’t allowed to swim in the ocean.” Sorinarya opened her mouth to protest, but her father cut her off, “And that is final!”

Sorinarya walked away from her parents, shoulders slumped in defeat. What’s the use of being Lutari if my parents won’t let me swim? I don’t see what they’re so afraid of…

* * * *

I really have no idea where this story is going to go. I'm thinking that Sora (Sorinarya) will end up running away from the Gakla and Poyla tribes, and her parents, and will go on some sort of adventure. If any of you have any suggestions they'd be greatly appreciated.

I have some more info and ideas to share too...

Sora is an Island Lutari.
I was thinking that her parents wouldn't be... or maybe she'd find a tribe of Lutari who are all plain (red, green, blue and yellow only).
She'll probably wind up on Mystery Island, Krawk Island or Maraqua.
She'll probably run into some Jetsam/other "bad" pets, either trying to attack/kidnap her, and end up being saved by another pet (who she ends up adventuring with) or vice versa.

Any ideas/inspiration/suggestions?


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Last edited by ria on Mon Mar 14, 2005 8:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 6:08 am 
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If you're planning just a short story...
An escape would be good...That way if she escapes into the ocean and is attacked by a jetsam, maraquan grarrl, or something equally ferocious (possibly a meepit with a scuba diving suit :D )

If you're planning to stretch it out into a series...
An escape would be good too...possibly also an attack in which she is saved...and that person leads her on and has an evil ulterior motive and betrays her and she realizes the dangers of the real world and returns to her home...

O.o Whoah...these are pretty farfetched...I'll think up something better later possibly


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 6:11 am 
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I was thinking of making it a series, but I'm really not sure.
Both your ideas are good though... especially the Meepit in a scuba diving suit :lol:


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 8:36 pm 
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It sounds good so far, but isn't it Lutari? I just assumed that the name was from the Latin prefix for otter, lutra.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 8:12 am 
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0_o I'm really stupid aren't I?
You can tell I really pay attention to what I'm doing can't you? :oops:


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 12:04 am 
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Hahaha.. no worries. ;) It sounds like it's going to be an excellent story, so be sure to post follow-ups. :)


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 7:24 am 
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When I get around to writing the next parts (which I really should do considering TNT is going to release the Lutari soon, and others will probably be writing tons of stories as well) I shall post them up. Although the whole point of this topic was to get some inspiration and ideas to help me keep writing... :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 5:53 am 
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Hmmm...possibly the meepit in the scuba diving suit could save her and then doublecrosses her...(that will reveal the true evilness of the creature!!)

*blinks* I think I'll go buy a meepit now...*sees price tag* :lol: maybe not...


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 7:30 am 
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Here's the next part. I think it'll be the end for Part 1 (including the first part, the whole part is about 1000 words)...

By the time evening came Sorinarya had made up her mind. She was going to run away, away from the Gakla and Poyla, away from her mother and father, away from her life as she had known it. From now on she was going to be.. Sora, the Adventurer. She smiled quietly to herself as she imagined what she would do once she was out in the big wide world. She would surely meet new races, and see many, many wondrous places… and the best part would be that she could swim whenever, and wherever she felt like.

She was woken from her daydreaming by her mother, who entered the small part of the family tent where she slept. “Goodnight Sorinarya, pleasant dreams my child,” Thorondil looked fondly down at her daughter who was feigning a deep sleep.
She quietly left the tent, and walked swiftly to the water’s edge to sit beside Thoronel. “Are you sure we aren’t too hard on Sorinarya? She is a Lutari after all, and her desire to swim is as strong as any of our tribe members’.” Thorondil spoke softly, her eyes watching the water ripple from the light breeze that came with the darkness of the night.
Thoronel looked at her solemnly, “but Sorinarya is not one of our tribe members. The proof of that is her appearance. The Gakla are Red and Yellow Lutari, the Polya are Green and Blue. But Sorinarya is Island, she is an orphan. And she is not one of us.”
Thorondil visibly tensed, “When we found her, all those years ago, you promised me that you would treat her as our own child, as our own daughter.”
Thoronel stood up, looking at the wavering reflection of the moon in the clear lagoon waters, “Sorinarya is not my daughter, and she never will be.”

Inside her room, within the family’s large tent, Sorinarya opened her eyes. Tears gently fell from them, dripping down the sides of her face, she quietly brushed them aside. Now that she knew the truth it only made her desire to leave even stronger. And now she’d have no regrets about leaving.

* * * *

Leaves crunched noisily as Sora hurried to be away from the camp of the Gakla and Polya tribes. She held a stick firmly over one shoulder, a large thick leaf was tied around the opposite end, within it were a few things she’d managed to pack before departing hastily. Three red apples, a small Tigersquash cake, a loaf of bread and a slice of cheese would provide her with enough food for a few days. A coral dagger and a small wooden shield taken from one of the guards would help defend her in case of trouble. Lastly, there were a few shell necklaces and a bag of sand dollars which she could hopefully use to buy things when she reached…

Sora stopped for a moment, confusion etched on her face, where was she going anyway?
After a few moments of wondering she shrugged her shoulders, an adventurer didn’t need to know where they were going, as long as they arrived there in the end. So with that in mind, Sora headed out, trying to get as far away from the camp, and her past, as possible.

* * * *

Dawn soon arrived, casting a soft glow of sunlight on the camp. Thorondil walked around the camp, a worried look on her face, after pacing around the camp at least three times she went back to the family tent and shook Thoronel with one paw.
“Husband, I have some disturbing news. Sorinarya has disappeared, everyone has searched all throughout the camp and there’s no sign of her. Some things are also missing from the kitchens, and Celegil says that his dagger and shield are missing.”
Thoronel sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes, “Do not fret, I’m sure she’ll turn up soon. The foolish child probably decided to sneak in an early breakfast and go off to swim before we could stop her.”
Thoronel clasped her paws together, her eyes downcast, “I hope you’re right husband. I really hope you’re right.”

(Does anyone know if there's a minimum number of words/pages for a series, or for a part of a series?)


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 9:06 pm 
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Quote:
Enter a Series
A series is a story that continues over many different episodes, with a new part being released each week. Series should be sent divided into their respective parts, all in the same submission.

Please limit your series to around 6-8 parts, so that other writers have a chance to be published in The Neopian Times. We can accept up to 12 parts, but try to keep it shorter if you can.

[ Minimum Size: 1,500 words for each part ]
[ Maximum Size: No limit ]


:D The stories going well so far...


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Ooh. It's pretty. :D See all the pretty presents? They can be yours if you vote for me. Yet, none of you know me. T_T How sad. There's no way to get the pretty presents then. :(


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2005 8:03 am 
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Well I'll have to extend the first part a little, and keep writing lots, when I can (stupid 5 assignments due next week :x ).... Thanks for your support!

EDIT:

Hmm... it's about 50 words off, but I really don't want to add any more to the first part. i might come back and add more after writing the other parts...

Now here's the last part of part 1:

Meanwhile, on a small island not far from the coast of the land that the Gakla and Polya tribes lived on, a caravan trundled along a dusty track. A line of scraggly pets, all chained together, followed along side it. A Red Elephante walked proudly, his head held high.
His name was Zabraphel and he was the boldest and bravest of all the slaves. For that is what this scraggy group was, a group of pets who were kidnapped from their families and were going to be sold for slavery.
Behind Zabraphel a White Aisha walked swiftly, all of the slaves knew that she was the most agile and fastest among them. They also knew that the Aisha, whose name was Agradi, had become best friends with Zabraphel and that both the pets were probably planning another escape attempt, even though their previous attempts, which were too numerous to count, had always ended up failing.

Zimar-Manath watched his slave line from the caravan window. He chuckled to himself, thinking of all the dubloons he would receive for them when they finally reached their destination. Walking around the tiny room, filled with maps and scrolls and other dark artefacts he gazed disdainfully at the corners of the room which were filled with Spyder webs.
“Soon. Soon I will own more than this, much more. I won’t only own a caravan, I’ll own a mansion. I won’t only own a pair of Unis to work for me, I’ll own a whole heard. And I won’t be getting slaves for others, I’ll be receiving them…. receiving them until I have a whole army. And with that army… I’ll take over Neopia!”
The Slavemaster’s maniacal laughter could be heard even outside the caravan. Zabraphel scowled, “Listen to him Agradi. Cackling away like a madpet.”
Agradi narrowed her eyes as she glared at the caravan as they walked, “You forget Zab, he is a madpet. But we won’t have to worry about him, or any of the horrid guards who work for him, not once we escape.”
The Elephante sighed, “But we’ve tried to escape so many times before. What makes you so sure we’ll success this time?”
Agradi was silent for a few moments, her face contorted into a frown as she thought, “I honestly don’t know. But I just have a… feeling. Like something, or someone is going to come and everything’s going to change.”
Zabraphel sighed, his eyes watching the muddy path they walked along, he dearly wished his friend was right. But now, after so long, it seemed nothing could help these poor pets. Nothing short of a miracle.


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