Pink Poogle Toy Forum

I know, and it's usually not like me to bother others with my problems, but still...

one of my (ex) friends, she's hyper sensitive. We've been friends for over four years, and the only time she ever listened to me and my problems was when my grandma nearly died, my parents broke up and one of our dogs died, all of this at the same time. I on the other hand have been there for her whenever she needed, day time, night time, any time.

I'm studying in Finland for 6 months, going home in four weeks, and this is only the second time she's tried to contact me. So today when she came online, I told her that she'd probably had a new boyfriend and hadn't had the time for me (sort of mockingly). She said this was true, but she was sorry. Either way, long story short, I told her that I thought this was enough and that I was calling it a day.

She completely agreed with everything I said and that she hadn't been the best friend, but she was sorry. I basically said that that didn't do me any good and that she'd reached my limit. After that she just said 'okay, goodbye then'

Now I'm wondering whether I did the right thing or not...

if you would please just give me your honest opinion, I'm not after the 'oh, yes, you poor thing' comments, I just want you honest opinion. Please

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Now I slither through the hairline cracks
in sanity

best watch your back

It's always hurtful to invest a lot of emotion into someone who's too inconsiderate to return it. I've been through that problem before, and you are better off not wasting your time on someone who's just not there for you. It's hard to break it off with a friend, but it needs to be done sometimes.

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°ponders°

I hate it, I mean... it's just not fair for either of us.
But then again, I've had enough of all the details I have to think of when being around her.

So I hope you're right. Going on being unhappy isn't the way out either so...


Thanks for your support

_________________
Now I slither through the hairline cracks
in sanity

best watch your back

If you need to talk or have any questions, PM me or AIM me at fiddelysquat. Unfortunately, I have a lot of experience in this area. And you're right- it's not worth it to sacrifice your own happiness for someone who's unwilling to go the extra mile for you.

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Regardless of if you get back with her or not, I think you need to forgive her. When you say your sorry and you're not forgiven its hard to deal with. Its not good to hold up bad feelings either. :)

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I think it would be too soon to wipe clean the slate if this exfriend really has been so inconsiderate. Why give her a 'get out of jail free card' right after she's been so unloyal and unhelpful?

Friendships end. A few, very few when you're young(as in under about 25), last more than a couple years. I recently ended a friendship of 6 years, because, as stupid as it sounds, she chose guys over me. In the end it's a matter of what you can stand and what you can't stand. It sounds like you hit your metaphorical strike three, and ended it in as unmessy a way as possible--good for you. It's not always easy to end these things cleanly. But it's best if, when you reach the breaking point, you end it basically in a clean break. Don't waffle, just let it go.
*hopes this wasn't redundant*

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"Oh, better far to live and die/Under the brave black flag I fly/Than play a sanctimonious part/With a pirate head and a pirate heart."

I agree with moongewl. Over the years (and I have many under my belt) I have made friendships that I thought would last a lifetime, only to have them end ... usually over a man. Age doesn't matter.

I actually think you handled it quite well from what I read. When enough is enough, well, yeah, that's enough. There's only so much you can invest in a relationship if the other person isn't giving anything back. That's when it's time to say goodbye and good luck and move on.

I wish the best for you and I know you'll make some better, lasting friendships

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I really understand where you are coming from. My best friend is inconsiderate a large part of the time and shes rude and angry. She has quite the temper and is emotionally high strung. Shes really hard to deal with, mostly I try to just put up with her crap but sometimes I just have enough of it and don't talk to her for days. To be honest her issues aren't her fault but not dealing with them entirely is. She has been presented with so many opportunities for help and instead she chooses to act completely scandalised. Everything is always about her.. but I would never just abandon. Unfortunately I can't hold things together forever and we've been slowly growing apart.

I am turning 19 this summer and I have been friends with her since kindergarten. Over the years her attitude has progressivly worsened. She went from being free spirited to troubled to completely upside down out of her mind. This is due to outside circumstances which are none of her fault but she suffered from far to much. I havn't been able to help her in the past year and we've simply grown apart. I rarely see her and when I do its for short periods and she isnt that fun to be around. I can't blame her shes very depressed and her entire family refuses to see it.

Anyways, my point being.. sometimes you just have to let go because what I have with her is not a healthy relationship and it sounds to me like what you had with your friend was not healthy either. I believe you made the right decission. I think maybe you are second guessing yourself because you feel guilty for being selfish. It sounds like she's been selfish the entire time you have been friends and what you are doing is simply removing yourself from that. It's not selfish it's smart.

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~~ Set by YesItIsh

Yeah, you're right, I feel guilty, because I know that she's hyper sensitive, and that it probably hurt her a lot too...

I always admire people who have friendships since kindergarten, or for any long period of time. It's such a shame that some people won't go for help, maybe because it makes them feel weak, but in some cases, you just need help.

And no, none of your posts were redundant, I value each and every on of them.

_________________
Now I slither through the hairline cracks
in sanity

best watch your back

I've been going through exactly the same thing. I was friends with a girl on my bus for a long time, and we hung out at each other's houses a lot. She had lots of problems with her mother, and I always let her come over when she needed to talk. She never listened to me when I complained about my family, though. This year, she got a boyfriend, and she started ignoring me for people who are "more fun". Popular girls like her because they think her accent is cute (She's Vietnamese, and she's only been speaking English for four years). It feels horrible to be treated like that, and you did the right thing.

My best friend, S-chan, and I have known each other for about six years, and since we're pretty much all the family the other has now, hopefully we'll be friends for a while longer.

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I have mixed opinions, because I myself have had a different experience than most of the ones posted.

My best friend and I have known each other for 9 years, and I'm happy about that . But there was a time when we slightly slipped away from each other. In Grade 8, she was making some new friends and I wasn't, really >_<. And she started going out with them and all that, and I never got invited... so I felt so deserted and betrayed. But then in Grade 9, I told her how I felt (with the help of another friend), and we've gradually been getting closer again ever since. I think she understands me more now, lol.

I've made more friends now, of course, and my best friend and I hang around completely different people... but we still have chances to talk with each other when we need to . And I can completely trust her, althouh we argue... very seldomly xP.

So maybe you just had to give some time?

But anyway, even if you aren't best friends anymore, it doesn't mean you can't still be friends, right?

Oh nooo, ofcourse we'll still be friends...

The thing is, I've been trying to talk t o her every time I feel bad, and after she's not listening I've told her that that hurt, because I also need someone once in a while. One time I got through to her and she told me she was going to try and make it better.
That was almost 2,5 years ago, and she's only gotten worse.

I agree with giving it some time, but she reached the end of my waiting capacity. So after all, I'm quite glad. Tomorrow's her birthday, so ofcourse I'll call and send her a card, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm glad I did what I did.

Wouldn't it be an idea to have an 'issues' forum point?

I guess there's more people with things like these, and I think there's people who are willing to help...

_________________
Now I slither through the hairline cracks
in sanity

best watch your back

As I see it thier are different kinds of friendsfor example you have the...
fun friends-these are the people you call to get togeter and go out
needy friends- the people who soak up all the emotional strength you have, however, you both feel better after you have helped them
True friends- these are the people who you can share everything with and they share with you
Now of course this is the condensed list I have edited such friends as the can I borrow some money friends, scary friends, lost friends, I love you And im drunk friends and wow I know you? friends

But seriously my point is you can be friends with all types but once you realize the depth of thier friendsship you can decide how much time/ energy to share with them. Also what you can expect from them

Lol...

Okay, I don't work that way... To agressive and sadistic I suppose, but I just don't count the entire world as friends.

My scale is:

1: friends: people you care very much about,
2: acquaintances: people you know and sometimes talk to.
3: people you couldn't care less about
4: people who you wish you could personally inflict a very slow and painfull to

The latter group is the largest

_________________
Now I slither through the hairline cracks
in sanity

best watch your back