Here are three truly terrible jokes (including the giggling under a blanket one)
1. One day Fred decided he wanted to visit his old friend Jim. He went by Jim's house and rang the doorbell. Jim's wife answered, and Fred inquired after him. Jim's wife said, "He's not here, he's out picking cotton."
A few weeks later, Fred went by again, and again asked about Jim. Jim's wife was there, and once again told Fred that Jim was "out picking cotton."
A few weeks after that, Fred came by again, and Jim's wife again answered. She was dressed all in black, and told Fred that Jim had passed away a few weeks before. She asked if Fred wanted to visit his grave, right out back. Fred went back and read the tombstone.
2. Did you hear Garry Kasparov and Bobby Fischer were thrown out of a hotel lobby recently for bragging too loudly?
3. Once upon a time a group of monks lived in a monastery far up a hillside. In addition to their duties of prayer, fasting, chores, and enlightening ancient texts (and, for Asthaloth, they had taken a vow of No Drinky Drinky), they discovered that the soil on the hillside was excellent for growing flowers.
The monks began growing their flowers and selling them in the nearby town, to raise money for the monastery. The flowers were so beautiful, and sold for so much, that the abbot began having his monks grow more and more flowers, at the expense of their religious duties. More and more flowers were grown, less and less holy work was done, and the abbot and his monks became greedier and greedier.
The Pope, on hearing this, sent a messenger to the monastery demanding a halt to the flower-growing activities. The abbot sent a message back: several pieces of the first messenger.
The Pope, enraged, sent a crack squad of troops to storm the abbey. But on climbing the hill, they suffered slings and arrows (to their grave misfortune), and also boiling oil and big rolling rocks. They were repulsed, and the monastery held on.
The Pope, at his wit's end, called for a bishop named Hugh, to take back the monastery. Hugh traveled to the town, climbed the mountain path, dodged the projectiles and rocks, avoided the oil, scaled the wall, dropped inside the monastery, and slaughtered all of the monks.
The moral of the story?