depressing clinical rotation

[eilu]

this month I'm at the Lung Center of the Philippines. These first couple of weeks or so I have been decked to the medical team. Translation: all my patients are 50-50 terminal cases.
It's very sad and emotionally draining. I'm a physical therapist- my job is supposed to be maximizing functional independence... but when you go see them in the ICU or the isolation wards (multiple drug-resistant TB) and all you can do is give them a few breathing exercises and try to make them comfortable... and some of them just tell you to go away and let them die in peace... they've given up themselves...*sigh*
Well, I do have one grandma who is doing (relatively) well. She just got out of ICU to intermediate care, and barring a rash of bad luck we have a fair chance of getting her back up on her feet soon. She's the single bright spot on my day.

[Lee]

Oh gosh. I can't even imagine having to do that. I'm glad you have found your sunshine there though.

[Ange]

Aw. Just focus on that bright spot.

I think it's wonderful you're doing something like that, though. It must be rough, seeing some people just give up, and I give you tons of credit.

[Phlameseeker]

My mum (a nurse) used to work on the cystic fibrosis wards, and i kinda know what she went through, especially as there were a lot of young people admitted Just remember that every person who makes it is one more than if you hadnt been there. I wish you all the best, and I'm sure you'll be ok.

[eilu]

my one bright patient got redecked to someone else. I hope she's doing well.
I got a couple of new patients in today as well, one post-stroke who's raring to be up & about (gotta love those who help themselves), one old guy with emphysema who keeps finding excuses to *not* have PT.

[3lla]

eilu i know how you feel.
I was in hospital when i went to the philippines to visit my family last summer, I was suffering from exhaustion(all that flying i was doing was taking a toll) and sometimes when i was allowed to walk around the hospital i would feel so horrible because there i would see cancer patients and all other such patients who seemed so unhappy with life that it just hurt me deep down.

eilu all i can really do is just wish you the best of luck, for both you and your patients.
I hope that you can find a way to make them happier in some form while they are in what could be the most frightening situation of their life.

qwahery sasa
goodbye now

[Ginger Harp Seal Pup]

You're a wonderful, strong person to be able to do a job as emotionally draining as this. I couldn't do it. A lot of people couldn't.

[eilu]

thanks for all the kind words everyone.

[eilu]

One of my patients, a sweet older man, passed away this weekend. It was stage 4 cancer and everyone knew it was coming, still...
I do know he was having a hard time, and that now he is free from all this, but he really wanted to go home and see his grandkids before he left... I hope the family managed to give him that. He will be missed.
His family left a 60k donation in his name, for other cancer patients who would need assistance, which I think is such a lovely and magnanimous gesture to do. It shows what kind of guy he was, to bring up people who would think to do that even in a time of great personal grief
*sigh*

[MarchingDuck]

Eilu I dont think anyone would understand you as well as my Godmother. She's a nurse and spend most of her life working in Pediatric trama/emergency. She's seen alot of horrible things happen to innocent kids.

She finally couldnt take the sadness anymore and moved to regular emergency care, people recovering from things and set for home.

Best wishes though! What you do is tough but remember you are helping people that need it most. And thats a very wonderful thing.