You know you're Asian when ...

[Shoyru_Lover]

You know you're an Asian when ...

1. Your dad is some sort of engineer.

2. You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing.

3. You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry and another one in your garage.

4. Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia you're from.

5. Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.

6. Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."

7. You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.

8. You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.

9. At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say...."

10. You've gotten little red envelopes around February.

11. Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back, garage, and closet doors.

12. You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every time someone calls you (e.g. Ruan Ye - ee - yah! or Amy- yah!).

13. Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular: ching chong woo bok chi, which means "I'm a white guy who can't speak worth a crap."

14. Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin.

15. The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner.

16. Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher.

17. At least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses.

18. Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 2:00 am to say, "In [insert Asian country], we studied even more."

19. An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother?" Well then, "Is it your sister?"

20. Your parents say, "Calculus? I took Calculus in 8th grade!"

21. Everyone thinks you're good at math.

22. Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "ai-yahs, wah's, and neggah's."

23. You buy $0.75-dubbed-bootlegged DVD's before they come out in theaters.

24. You buy $0.50-dubbed-bootlegged VCD's before they come out in theaters.

25. Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever popular lime green.

26. Your parents insist you marry within your race.

27. You never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation of oriental food.

28. Your parents have never kissed each other.

29. "You want a TV?! When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"

30. People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate.

31. You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle".

32. You have 12+ aunts and uncles.

33. At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.

34. Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat anyway. It's still good."

35. The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses.

36. You will most likely be taller than your parents.

37. Your parents have either make you play the piano, the violin, or both.

38. You get nothing if you do well in school, but lectured on if you don't.

39. When going to other people's houses, you always have to bring a gift, most likely cheap or reused from last Christmas.

40. Your family plays ping pong religiously.

41. Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e.Yao Ming).

42. You have rocks, sticks, leaves, and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine.

43. You own a rice cooker or two.

44. You buy soy sauce by the gallon.

45. Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going.

46. Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come.

47. Your family only drives certain Asian cars. (i.e. Honda Civics, TOYOTA CAMRYs, and assorted minivans.)

48. In order to get the best deal from all-you-can-eat buffets, your family fasts for 48 hours before going.

49. You take a million napkins, salt and pepper packets, ketchup packets, straws, and other assorted free items from fast food restaurants so that you won't have to buy them.

50. You eat rice for breakfast.

51. You try to get the 12 and under price until you're 16.

52. You like eating shrimp with heads and chicken with feet.

53. You never talk about your love life with your parents because they wouldn't know what you're talking about.

[Zilary]

HAhahahaa...I've seen so many versions of this, but by far, this is the most accurate one!!

Yeah, I drive a Toyota Camry. I love my car. And I've definitely tried #53 before...I just gave up and decided to hide all my relationships until I graduate from college of something (5 more years!!)

[shapu]

Going to a college with a pretty sizable asian percentage (and having two Taiwanese roommates) allows me to post one, I'd posit.

54. According to your parents, you will either be a doctor or a doctor. If you are neither of those things, they will settle for you becoming a doctor.

[Anoohilator]

55: You have an Asian background, or you are living in an Asian country.

56. People expect you to know how to cook any Asian dish.

Haha I love those lists

[Paul]

57. People assume you know your native language, even when you're 3rd-generation american.

[shapu]

58. "Do you know Kung-fu?"

(Sad to say, I've done this. And he did. And it hurt).

[Ski]

I have quite of few good friends who are Asian (actually, all Chinese) and one girl always makes sure I know all the stereotypes.

59. If you're a girl, you make jokes about how fat you are. In reality, however, every other girl would kill to be as thin as you.

60. You've seen Philip Wong's "Yellow Fever" on youtube at least once.

[Byakuya San]

One of my best friends is Chinese, so I just had to add some of my own.

61. You scoff at anyone who eats microwave Asian noodle dishes for lunch, telling them that you eat more than three times that amount whenever your mom is cooking.

62. You only have room in your refrigerator for basic meals...which includes various species of fish, several pounds of chicken, vegetables from every corner of the earth, assorted soy, teriyaki, etc. sauces, many different kinds of fruit (for snacks and desserts) that take up one shelf on their own...the list goes on.

[3lla]

63. when others think that asians are skinny gangly people who always wear glasses, like anime and are good at science and maths

lol kym i love your list!

[Helena]

Hmm...
#7, #23, #24, #36, #46, #49, = Yup.
Me being Asian = Nope. Or maybe I have Asian relatives.... I'm not sure.

[bonsgun]

I am an Asian (Chinese) and almost 90% of the whole list is SO accurate! Laughed all the way down the list XD

[thesockoverlord]

Hmm...it would seem that based off of Kym's list that i'm about half-asian? Now i'm scared. No, actually, i'm not....i don't think. maybe, i don't think so, though....i'll stop now, lol.

[laurencecom]

I'm asian...and this is SOOO accurate...

[draconis]

Actually, when I was in the UK, everyone thought I was Japanese, or Korean. And assumed I didn't know English. Most of the list is pretty accurate, if stereotypical, and some are downright wince-worthy - I'm in Singapore, and quite a few don't happen.

As to #10 - don't diss the little red envelopes. I get several hundred dollars over a few days from those, over a thousand some years.